OC Family - Moms. Kids. Life. - (Autism in the O.C.)

Because Bubble Baths are Overrated

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 18:53:00 GMT

Hey.
You know you've always wanted to know what taking a bath with a wicker basket would be like. Don't even try and deny it.

*The winner of the $50.00 Red Robin Gift Card is Alma! Please email me at ashline02@sbcglobal.net with your mailing address. Congratulations!*

Why Red Robin Rocks (and a $50 Gift Card Giveaway!)

Sat, 24 Jul 2010 20:30:00 GMT

I’m not going to lie to you; there’s little else I love more than sitting down to a delicious meal prepared by somebody else, then leaving the pile of dirty dishes on the table, knowing that I won’t be stuck washing them later. Eating out has always been a favorite treat for our family, but soon after Andrew’s autism diagnosis came a substantial increase in his stims and an even more substantial decrease in our desire to deal with them in public places; especially restaurants. Our imagined worst case scenarios always involved a no-nonsense manager escorting us through the back exit, the disapproving glares from fed up patrons guiding our way as our carb rich meals were being devoured by snickering staff in the kitchen. Not good. Eventually though, we realized we were tired of living in fear and without free drink refills, and so we ventured throughout Orange County, in search of a family friendly restaurant least likely to kick us out should things go from fabulous to freak out (which is .

We decided on our local Red Robin, a favorite eatery that my husband Michael and I frequented before we had our children. We were initially apprehensive about how Andrew would fare in a restaurant setting and, more importantly, how the restaurant would fare with Andrew in it; minutes into our first dining experience in ages, we knew we had hit the jackpot. The service was great (meaning, no one kicked us out when Andrew started flapping his arms and bouncing up and down in our booth), the food was delicious and served quickly (meaning we didn’t have to spend 30 minutes trying to keep our antsy kids occupied before their meals arrived) and the atmosphere was user-friendly (meaning, servers were kind, and accommodating, which is vital for an extra special family like ours). Having such a positive experience gave us the self confidence to continue to venture out to eat when the urge struck, and more often than not, we relied on Red Robin as the place to go to if we wanted a successful outing.

Recently I had the pleasure of sitting down with Cameron Hokanson, General Manager of Red Robin at the Village of Orange. He mentioned that in the last several years there has been an increase in families affected by autism coming into the restaurant. Though Red Robin does not have a formal sensitivity training program in place, Cameron mentioned that “several employees in our Orange location have family members with autism and are constantly providing us feedback on how we can better serve the autism community. Red Robin employees are encouraged and feel empowered to take care of our guests, and any feedback is more than welcome so that we can try and accommodate our guests the best way we know how.”

In 2007 Red Robin introduced their gluten-free menu (a casein-free menu is currently not available, though Cameron mentioned that this has not been ruled out for the future). “If you alert your server that you are ordering from the allergy menu, we input the information into our computer and your order is flagged with an ‘allergen alert.’ The manager on duty will then enter the kitchen area and oversee your order from beginning to end. There is no cross-contamination and allergy menu items are cooked on separate equipment and placed in a yellow basket, away from any other food in the kitchen. We are definitely seeing a rise in these types of menu requests and it is a popular topic within the restaurant industry.”

I also asked Cameron if he had any advice for families who were feeling gun-shy about dining out with their special needs child. His answer was simple: “Our primary focus is to be family-friendly, and we’re here to accommodate and customize your experience. We’re here to help make dining out enjoyable for anyone and everyone, so don’t be afraid to ask for help, no matter what that may be.”

Thanks Cameron, and thank you Red Robin; you guys Rock!

Now for the fun part: I asked Red Robin if they would be willing to do a giveaway for my fabulous readers and maybe help get a family back into the wonderful world of eating out and they said Yes! So, I have one $50.00 gift card that will end up in the hands of one of you lucky readers. All you have to do is follow the rules below. Winner will be chosen using random.org.

1. Leave a comment to be entered into the contest.

For additional chances to win you can:

2. Tweet “Red Robin $50 #Giveaway - @JoMamma02 http://www.ocfamily.com/Blogs.aspx?bt=Autism in the O.C.&fbt=y (1 entry)

3. Follow me on Twitter @JoMamma02 (1entry)

4. Become a Facebook fan for either Red Robin or A Sweet Dose of Truth

*I was not compensated for this post. Unless you count the iced tea I drank during my interview with Cameron. Which was delicious, by the way. (The iced tea, not the interview)*

Groceries: 'Cause Your Neighbors Are Out of Sugar Too

Mon, 05 Jul 2010 20:09:00 GMT

Does this picture make you break out in a cold sweat?

Would you rather chew off your right index finger than go back to the grocery store with your child?

Do you wake up with night terrors when you realize that your pantry is getting bare?

If so, then read on for some tips to make your next *gulp* shopping trip a success. Or at least less traumatic.

So you’re out of milk and bread.
And toilet paper.
And just about anything else you may deem as a suitable substitute for the aforementioned bathroom tissue.

You can’t avoid it.
You have to go to the grocery store.

Crap.

I know. It gives you hives just thinking about it. Which is why I, along with my son’s amazing in-home behavior therapist, who we’ll refer to from here on out as Heidi, have come up with some great tips to help you get through your next shopping trip relatively unscathed. Or at least motivate you to try again, after your last failed attempt you still affectionately refer to as The Aisle 14 Disaster of 2010.

*First things first; make a list. You need to get organized before you even leave the house. Definitely keep it simple. Forget about finding that papaya and goat cheese flatbread pizza everyone keeps raving about. Narrow it down to your absolute must haves.

*Prime your child about your trip and your expectations for his behavior. Do not underestimate the power of this simple yet often effective tool. “We are going to the grocery store. We will not be buying any toys.” Do this often leading up to the trip, beginning when you are getting him ready to head out the door.

*Reinforcers. Bring some. My son Andrew loves aluminum cans, so I try to keep one handy in my car for when we go to the store. The label is already peeled off (which is a must for him) and it helps him cope with the dreaded soup can aisle. You may want to consider a special reinforcer that only comes out during your shopping trips; make sure it’s a highly preferred item. Don’t bring a yo-yo if his real passion is for toy tractors.

*If your child is an avid eloper (like mine is), get him involved in pushing the cart and helping you place items in the cart. Make him feel like he is an important part of the shopping process and that you couldn’t do it without him. Even the most severely impacted kiddos know the difference between being dragged along or being needed. Let him help however he is able to (consider this: all the lifting, bending, pushing, and pulling is considered great OT and PT).

*Praise! Lots of it. All the time. Every little thing he does right. Lots of “Good Job!” and “Woohoo’s!”

*Bring someone along for moral support. A friend, a neighbor, and if you’re totally desperate, you may want to consider your mother-in-law. Or not.

*Compromise. If you know he’ll do a million times better if you let him walk around holding a can of hair mousse, then put it in perspective. What’s the worst that could happen; he ends up with extra volume? Walk out of the store if things end up getting ugly only if you feel it will best serve him and yourself. Do not leave because you get a few dirty looks. What matters is the safety of your child and your own sanity, not the shallow judgment of strangers. You’re a rock star just for getting this far! And if you decide that your best bet is to leave and try again, and you have to go home without that coveted toilet paper, check out this site for some ideas on, um, alternative materials.

In the meantime, keep up the good work, take a deep breath, and do your best.

Your kiddo depends on it.

It's the Little Things

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 18:27:00 GMT

Society has really come a long way since Leo Kanner first coined the term Autism to describe a series of behaviors and impairments that were showing up in children circa 1943. Back then it was believed that children who were diagnosed with the disorder were victims of “refrigerator mothers;” women who withheld love and affection from their offspring. Now we know better.

(You do know better, don’t you?)

Heck, there’s been a boatload of progress since my son Andrew’s diagnosis in 2004. We’ve worked hard to educate our communities and dispel the popular misconception that everyone who has autism must, in some way or another, channel Dustin Hoffman’s character in Rain Man. And it’s working. One small change at a time, it’s working. The shame, the loneliness, the fear; they fade into the background each time we take a collective step forward by educating ourselves about this epidemic and how it is affecting American families everywhere.

But just as it can take a small gesture of kindness to help a weary mother through a difficult day, it takes only an ignorant oversight to make a child feel unwanted, a mother feel helpless, a friend feel obligated to say something, if only to prevent it from happening again.

Yearbooks are something students and parents look forward to at the end of each school year. It’s a right of passage as a youngster, to flip through the glossy pages and offer coveted writing space to special friends and teachers. And, if you’re a sixth grader at a particular school located somewhere within Orange County, you’re given an extra large photo towards the front of the book and a paragraph-length quote describing your favorite memories of school, what you hope to be when you grow up, your dreams and aspirations.

Unless you happen to be a sixth grader in this particular school, who also happens to be in one of the SDC classes (special needs classes). In which case your class photo is placed towards the back of the book, after the kindergartners; no one has bothered asking you about your favorite memories, your dreams and aspirations. No one has bothered asking your parents if they could help provide the information. Maybe no one thought that it was worth the trouble. Maybe no one thought that it would matter. Even worse, maybe no one thought about it at all.

And that sort of ticks me off.

Because a young boy came home from this particular school on the afternoon that his precious yearbook was passed out and knew he had been excluded from something very special when he looked through the pages and noticed that the other kids his age had been celebrated and congratulated. “See mom,” he said, “I told you no one at school cares about us and our class.”

So to the yearbook planning committee, PTA members, and school personnel involved in this seemingly slight oversight I say this: Every child deserves the opportunity to be asked what they want to be when they grow up; even if they need help going to the bathroom, holding a pen, eating with a fork, or climbing the stairs; even if they sway back and forth in their seats, or have meltdowns when the lights are too bright, or prefer flapping to clapping.

And I’m positive that each one of the sixth graders you failed to include in your honorary pages had a special memory to share and a particular hope for their future, not unlike their more “typical” peers.

All you had to do was ask.

Therapy Talk

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 18:25:00 GMT

If there's one thing we really strive for in Andrew’s therapy program, it's to generalize his new skills and use them outside of his immediate community,; this way we know he has mastered a particular task.

Lately, I find that I too have begun to generalize some of the things I have learned in his program.

Below are some examples. Add a singsong voice to each statement for that added condescending tone; fun times for everyone.

"Not a choice."
This is a great phrase to useon the telemarketer who calls toharass you about purchasing that extra ironcladlife insurance policyfor your loved one/next doorneighbor/pet. Also comes in handy when the husband asks to have the guys over for poker night.

"Good listening."
This short but sweet phrase comes in handy when you notice an eavesdropper lurking nearby as you share the latest gossip with your mommy friends. May be used liberally with your kids, husband, pastor, in-laws, etc. Best used sarcastically. Add a dramatic eye roll to really drive home your point.

"Nice waiting."
Also a gem, this one is pretty much appropriate whenever someone is being a dung-hole and trying to push their way through line or whip into your parking spot before you've evenhad a chance to fully back out. Really comes in handy in overcrowded waiting rooms and the DMV.

"Quiet hands."
Perfect for when your husband comes home and thinks that, after you've spent the day refereeing your insane adorable children, almost broken your right pointer fingercuticle while watching a workout dvd, eaten steamed broccoli and kale for dessert, and accidentally stepped in cat barf, that you're still somehow in the mood to rock his socks off.

As if.

Stay tuned for more.

Until then,

"Use your words."

********

Did You Know?

AMC Theaters now provide sensory-friendly films once a month!
Participating theaters in the Orange County area are located at
The Block at Orange and Downtown Disney.
Movies begin promptly at 10:00 a.m. and
there are no previews to sit through.
The lights are turned up, the volume is turned down,
and children are encouraged to make noise and
move around the theater in a safe manner. You may also
bring your own GFCF food! This month's feature
presentation is Toy Story 3 and will be shown on
June 26th; my family and I will be there to take
advantage of this user-friendly movie experience
and I will provide a full report on this blog for
those of you who are a bit gun shy and
need more details before you give it a try.
This is also a great time to make new friends,
including developing relationships
among siblings of special needs kiddos,
who share such a unique bond.

You're Not Alone

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 21:04:00 GMT

After the initial shock of my son’s Autism diagnosis wore off I was faced with trying to get back to “business as usual.” Meaning, children had to be fed, clothed, cuddled, and entertained. Meaning, I could only avoid parks and playdates for so long before the boys stopped resembling children and began to resemble wildebeests. The thought of venturing outside of my safe and judgment-free abode though was enough to make me break out in head to toe hives; I knew that past my front door was a world filled with questioning glances and shaking heads. I knew that my special needs son would be a constant source of unsolicited attention, when all I wanted was to disappear into the background and wallow in our family’s pain privately.

Let me tell you something.
That is no way to live.
Not for You and not for your Child.

Tantrums, arm flapping, elopement, and a robust preoccupation with other people’s strollers; if your child exhibits any of these behaviors, you’re almost guaranteed that others will sit up and take notice of you and your family while out in public. Sure; some will scoff, some will avoid eye contact, and some will even assume that you’re the world’s worst parent as you attempt to calm down your over stimulated and misunderstood child.
But unless they’re right, and your parenting skills are in need of some intervention a la Child Protective Services, then guess what?

It doesn’t matter what they think.

Easier said than done, I know.

But there is a life out there, and it’s not going to wait around on pause until you finally get up the courage to face your fears about social situations with your special needs loved one. It’s going to pass you by, one cancelled outing after another, until you wake up one day and realize that you haven’t seen the inside of a restaurant or movie theater in years.

You may feel alone right now.
And
You may feel tired of the shame that comes when complete strangers look at you in disdain when you can’t control your screaming son or daughter.
You’re probably tired of the anxiety that sneaks up on you when your child begins to stim or have a meltdown in the middle of the canned goods aisle in the grocery store.
And no doubt you’re tired of the claustrophobia that you experience each time you are faced with a situation that may not look favorably on a child whose main method of communication involves high pitched shrieks and head banging.

I know what I’m talking about; mainly because I’ve experienced each and every one of these scenarios, and many more, over the last six years of parenting my autistic son. And though sometimes I’ve headed home from a social outing with tears of frustration on my face and utter exhaustion in my bones, I know that my perseverance and willingness to try again and again are key to my son’s success in this world, and that for every ten outings that go horribly wrong, there is always one that gives me the hope, strength and endurance I need to keep going

For his sake and mine.

Welcome to Autism in the O.C.

Sat, 29 May 2010 10:11:00 GMT

In 2004, one week after turning two years old, my firstborn son Andrew was diagnosed with Autism. It was mid March, and a typical mild spring day; the clinic where we had him assessed was perched among the rolling hills and perfect postcard backdrop of Mission Viejo . I remember sitting in the car, on the way back home to Orange, the sky just as blue as it had been when I had woken up that morning, the familiar landscape along the 5 fwy passing by in a blur; I knew in my heart that from this day forward, nothing would ever be the same again. We rode in silence, my husband and I, each one of us processing the devastating news in our own way, though my pain and fear were clearly mirrored in his eyes. By the time we pulled into our driveway, I vowed that we would do everything in our power to protect our son and give him a life filled with joyful experiences and laughter. That laughter along with large doses of hope has saved us from giving up and giving in as we continue to try and make sense of Andrew’s disorder and what the best treatments for him are. Between the doctor visits and latest research though, is this little thing called Life, and living it to the fullest with a special needs child can be, well, interesting, to say the least.

I’ve been on this special needs journey for over six years now, and sometimes, I still feel overwhelmed. And even though being surrounded by supportive family and friends has helped to keep me grounded during some of my darkest days, there are times when I still stumble and wonder if I know what the heck I’m doing.

Going to the grocery store with my now eight year old son can often be challenging to say the least; especially if we accidentally end up in the canned food aisle (he has a natural and very strong gravitational pull towards those shiny cans!). I know I’m not the only one that often feels like the easiest thing to do is to stay home, where boundaries are easily set and meltdowns are attended to without the curious glances and annoyed glares of strangers.

Except, that’s just no way to live; our children and families deserve better than that.

Day to day life is very different when you have a child who has specific needs and delays. Autism Spectrum Disorder encompasses a wide range of symptoms that can make almost any “typical” task seem daunting. Who can think about a family night out or a special day at the zoo when getting your child dressed and fed can often seem like an uphill and nearly impossible feat?

That’s where I come in. Welcome to Autism in the O.C.; a blog dedicated to providing useful and pertinent information to families who love and live with someone on the Autism Spectrum. I’ll be touring local parks, restaurants, shopping centers, museums and special events in the Orange County area to bring you the latest information on user-friendly locations to visit and enjoy with your special needs child. You’ll know if a restaurant is too bright or noisy, and whether or not it includes a Gluten Free/Casein Free menu before you ever step through the door. You’ll be alerted to parks which are located along a major street and lack secure gates, so that you can avoid a stressful outing with your little eloper. I’ll fill you in on where to go to receive the highest level of customer service and what kind of accommodations (or lack thereof) you can expect at various venues. And if I go somewhere and the service sucks because we’re treated like second class citizens as soon as the hand flapping starts? Yep. You’ll know about that too.

Years of parent education and 1:1 behavioral intervention with my son and his amazing team have also provided me with useful tips and strategies that work in the “real world,” not just in a clinical setting. I hope many of you will benefit from reading about the successes, as well as the trials and errors of our ongoing program and find a way to implement some of my suggestions into your own daily lives; a little routine and some preplanning can make all the difference in the world for you and your child.

So welcome to Autism in the O.C. I hope you check back often and know that you aren’t alone in your desire to achieve the best quality of life for your family.

And, if you have specific requests or suggestions, please contact me directly at autismintheoc@gmail.com

Together, we can raise awareness for the need for continued improvements in the standards of service for the special needs community throughout beautiful Orange County and take comfort in bringing our unique and wonderful families to businesses and recreational locations that make us feel both welcomed and accepted.

Our kids deserve the opportunity to enjoy the world around them.

And you deserve the opportunity to make that a reality.

Jo

*You can also visit me at www.asweetdoseoftruth.blogspot.com, where I write about our family's journey and make fun of my loved ones.*