OC Family - Moms. Kids. Life. - (The Glamorous Life Association)

The Renaming of Orange County.

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:28:00 GMT

Not exactly a newsflash but, I love Orange County.

I think you all know that. Maybe cuz I talk about HOW MUCH I LOVE ORANGE COUNTY every chance I get. So this humored me. I was surprised actually, to see that if the country was divided up into fairly equal chunks of population*…The OC would not only BE ITS OWN chunk, but it would be one of the smallest. That means that we have a hella lotta people living here.So why would anyone do this? Well, because they are looking for electoral college reform I guess.And maybe it is just kinda fun to mess with the United States. Like I am loving the chunk called “Brownia” and the bizarre “Llano Estacado”. Come to think of it maybe the “Orange” chunk should have been renamed “Botoxia” or “SUVille”….not judging. Just sayin. Actually “GlamorousLife” would have worked nicely as well. But one of my girlfriends suggested name is the best out of all of them..

"Cougar de Caza"
Perfection.

* Each state (sic. ‘chunk’) shown has a population between 5.4 and 5.635 million, according to Census 2000 figures. Most are 5.616 million. The District of Columbia is preserved as it is.

How to get into heaven by drinking lemonade.

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 10:29:00 GMT

Just a little piece of my weekend...

While this photo could equally be a survey photo for The Power Line Installers of America, it is actually a photo of my kids. Walking purposely under a lovely late Southern California February sky, my boys took their Lemonade-Stand-in-a-Wagon business around town. And I spied on them from a safe distance. This was after they picked the lemons from our trees and made two giant pitchers of the sweet stuff by hand. And apparently our backyard ‘tiki hut’ barbeque is now company headquarters. I had to giggle when they said “I had no idea lemonade was so hard to make. Maybe that is why it tastes so good”.

I have decided that it tells a lot about a person’s character if they go out of their way to stop to buy lemonade from kids.

Like I think it says ‘You are a saint and are going to heaven’.

I wanted to go hug everyone who pulled over their car or came walking up for a cup of sweet goodness.

So thank you.

You are good people.

Yes, that is a Flight of the Concords shirt on Jack. He said it was going to be good for business.

And maybe it was. They made $12.00 on this day (at 50cents a cup)….and had tons of fun. As always, they donate half their 'business' profits to the Orange County Make-a-Wish chapter. So I would call it a success.

But of course now I need to go to the store for sugar and plastic cups....

For *some* reason-I am fresh out.

My body image needs serious help...

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:13:00 GMT

I think I have a problem.

I woke up today at 3am and couldn’t sleep. Why you ask? Well, I FELT FAT.

Let’s review. Listen to what I am saying;

I felt too fat IN MY SLEEP.

I have struggled with weight my entire life. With brief periods of drug induced (I still love you Phen-Fen even though they took you away from me) skinny-ness. But now I am back to being heavy. Not super heavy. But I am definitely no longer the skinny one. Now I am ‘the one with the nice face and good personality’. I was sent a Wii fit by a PR company recently and when I hooked it up it informed me I was most definitely OVERweight and then proceeded to enlarge my avatar until it resembled the Stay Puff marshmellow man. Wii was that really necessary?

Was seeing my BMI on my 60” plasma TV not punishment enough?

I was not a fat child. But I was round. Round face with chubby cheeks and a general look of ‘kid-ness’ to me. Think Punky Brewster (only with totally coordinated outfits). But when I began those damn dance lessons, starring into a mirror day after day hour after hour, I had plenty of opportunity to compare every inch of my body to the other girls. Megan’s hip bones stuck out. Caroline’s thighs didn’t touch. Michele had breasts already. Did I tell you I was NINE. Yes, by nine years old I had developed complete hate for my own god-given shape.

I began ‘watching’ what I ate at the age of nine. And have done so every day, every meal since. Aside for my pregnacies (when I allowed my self a free pass and gained 80lbs with EACH kid) I can not remember the last time I ate a meal without regret. Every bite comes with the accompanying food-guilt. Worse still is the Meal Hangover the next day. Praying so bad I could take it back. All of it.

I have a long running joke that I wish I had a non-life threatening disease that leaves me so thin the doctors have to BEG me to eat my way back to a normal weight. I would have round the clock deliveries of Fetticini Alfredo and be back to fighting weight in a matter of weeks. Oh, I have lots of jokes about my weight.

Just realizing how demented all that is...

But this is not some delayed New Year’s resolution proclamation. I am not telling the world to hold me accountable. While I will continue to workout, and try to eat right- I have no real expectations that it will actually happen. I mean I have been at this for a long, long while. I am realistic. And I am tired. My weight quiet literaly is my teether. It is the one thing that has held me back from achieving my dreams I believe. OH the energy wasted on wondering if my ‘back fat’ is showing! And the tears I have shed over beach vacations. Cognitively I know that is all nonsense.

But I am trapped. By my own fat mind games.

I have never, ever discussed my really screwed up body issues with anyone. And so naturally I decided to start by telling the internet. I just thought if we were going to be good friends this was a good place to start.

But you won’t tell anyone will you?
_____________

Let me please add that I know some readers (and friends) will scoff (never used that word before) at my claim of fatness. And I know that there are plenty of woman out there who are far far heavier than me - and are perfectly OKAY WITH IT.

And I envy them.

Calling myself fat is not an easy thing. I will go out on a limb and say this is the hardest post I have ever written. But I felt compelled. I hope it reaches someone who can relate just a little.

photocredit: Murphy McCracken via Flickr

Cat 'houses' are out of control!

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 05:14:00 GMT

Um, so you know about GlamCat right? Yeah that damn perfect cat I mention every other post…well, I started thinking maybe I should actually buy GlamCat some little piece of furniture of her own. You know the Amazon shipping box she is currently sleeping in (hey, I added a blanket. Its like practically the Kitty Ritz) might not be cutting it forever. So I made the mistake of Googleing for ‘Unique cat furniture”.

OH MY GOD people.

What the hell is going on out there in the cat world? This goes beyond ‘crazy cat lady’ behavior- this is totally insane. Lets review some of the wacko findings.

Want kitty to sleep on a sinking ship? You can!

Want kitty to have nightmares of being eaten by a larger blue-smurf cat? You can!

Do you have a pair of kitties named Harry and Hermione? Look no further…

Did you find kitty in an alley behind the Benihana? Make her feel at home…

Was kitty abducted by aliens? The love of your life? Or possibly is a gay drag kitty who can’t get enough of fabulous purple fur?

Now this insanity got me thinking that maybe some of this is spurred by indoor-only cat guilt.

After all SOME PEOPLE* would say keeping a cat indoors is like kitty-jail.

Not judging. Just saying. And that is when I found this. A frickin Disney-esque jungle recreation for the kitty.

Which would be awesome. If I could add a whole wing on to my house just for Mozy kitty.

I think I am leaning towards one of these below. Cuz Mozy is a pretty modern hip mid-century kitty.

GlamCat is all about the retro.

But these beauties cost real BUCKS. ($350? Are you Fur Real?)

They are for the I-got-adopted-by-the-Rockefellers set…so maybe we will just stick with the Amazon box for now.

*NOT ME so save the hate mail k?

Giving it up for Lent. Or Not.

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 07:59:00 GMT

Oh my goodness I talk about religion a lot these days huh? Trust me. It is purely an accident....But here goes another one...

Hey did you hear? Its that time of year when people give up stuff they could probably do without anyway really like to show their commitment to their religion. Or something like that. I am not Catholic, so the concept of Lent is a little blurry. But I gotta say I think it is a really very practical way to make you feel grateful. You know that whole ‘you don’t know how good you have it- till it is gone’ kinda philosophy. Well I have never participated…but I was thinking maybe this year I would do a ‘Bloggers Lent’ sort of thing….

I am thinking of giving up one or all of these

1. Checking stats on my blog hourly daily.

2. Passive-Aggressively posting on Facebook…and only posting the ‘pretty’ parts of my life.

3. Using Twitter like one big commercial to promote everything I have written, said or done that day.

4. ‘Touching up’ photos of myself before posting so that I look younger/thinner/better in everyway.

5. Whrrling/Photographing every single place I go with my kids and missing out on the actual fun of being there.

But honestly I would rather give up this stuff:

1. Laundry
2. Unloading the dishwasher
3. Grocery shopping

TheHusband: Hey honey, I have nothing to wear, nothing to eat off of and there is no food in the house.

Me: Um, yeah. I gave those up for LENT. Now don’t bother me. I am busy doing quiet examining of my life over here.

TheHusband: You aren’t supposed to give up stuff you hate doing. You missed the point.

Me: I can give up whatever I want. This is my religious journey for Christ’s sake.

TheHusband: You need help.

Truth is…I am going to give up SOMETHING for Lent. Worth a try. I am not sure what yet.

Possibly Mentos.

And I think I might be going to hell my faith might be wacked because I find this HYSTERICAL.

But I bet Jesus would laugh too.

Cuz he was a funny dude.

Just look at the avocado pit.

That thing is pure comedy.

POTUS and Me? Same job. Less pay.

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 12:39:00 GMT

Hey POTUS. I am the one running the show around these parts....

Happy President's Day.

(um, it is this Monday. Yeah that is why your kids are home from school.)

I actually googled "What does the President do?" today to explain to my boys why this day is important. (Whoa, I am practically a home schooler I know). And it occurred to me (in a grand stretch of comedic license) that moms are a lot like presidents. See for yourself:

He or She represents the United States family and decides how it will work with other countries families. They She makes decisions that affect how the country family is run.

The President's Mother office picks many of the people with important jobs, including judges trash-taker-outer. The President Mom is also in charge of all the US armed forces toy arsenal.

The President Mom has to choose the people who help him her run his her office at the White House. These people help him her plan who he she will select for Cabinet best TV viewing couch positions.

There are many jobs to be filled and they are all important. The Senate husband must doesn't have to approve each nominee.

So enjoy the day.

And think about all those past presidents who learned how to do their multi-tasking jobs well from their best mentors; their moms.

Come visit Marcy at her presidential digs on the internet. She might appoint you an ambassadorship or something.

The Glamorous Life Association

How do you feel about Trailer Church at school?

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 08:15:00 GMT

Over a year ago, I wrote the following post about the 'Trailer Church that could be found in front of many of the schools in Orange County. It received an out pouring of response from my readers. Today, as I dropped off my children at school -next to yet ANOTHER of these trailers. I felt my frustration growing. So I thought I would re-post and see what your thoughts are on this issue. In a not-really-funny-note, this is the same post that prompted my children's elementary school to ask me to step down as PTA president. For reals.

*BEFORE you read: I am a Christian. I love me some Jesus.
And I am not a Nazi.

After calling my children's school district to find out more about a 'Released Time' christian education trailer parked at a park near school property, I learned many many things.

1. I learned that while the school allows children to leave campus and go to this 'trailer' during lunch it does not consider that an endorsement of a particular religion.

2. I learned that the school district does no background/security checks on the volunteers/workers of "Release Time". No idea if they are on the sexual predator list or not. No idea who they are at all.

3. I learned that even though the trailer was parked in what looked like a city park- the school has a shared use agreement with the city and therefore it is school property until 4:00 each day.

And when I asked how this organization was going to promote their 'education', I was told they would be sending home a flyer to the students. So I asked "how is that possible with the separation of church and state?" and Mr. District said "any non profit group can send out district approved flyers to the children". I thought for a minute and said "SO lets say I am a NAZI. But I am a non-profit NAZI with a NAZI organization I would be able to send home flyers to ALL the CHILDREN in the SCHOOL DISTRICT?". I was met with silence and then a weak "well, YES." Seems to me there is a real problem with their policy.

Hello. CHURCH and STATE? I am a Jesus loving Christian - and this trailer recruitment offends me. Who the heck are these people trying to recruit my kids into their trailer? Isn't that just a large creepier version of the scary guy and his van? Gosh I hope they don't give out candy too. And what about the poor Muslim kid? Or the Jewish child? Don't you think they are going to feel displaced by this even though the district says it isn't but it is ENDORSEMENT of Christianity? Where are the Trailer Synagogue? Or Mosque? This whole thing makes me sad. And it scares me. But what do you think?

For this post I attempted to contact "Release Time Education" for comment. But apparently they have none. They never returned my calls or emails or letters. However by visiting their site I learned their are 309 trailers sitting outside elementary schools in the state of California. And I learned they are only permitted to be there at the discretion of the school district. So if the I school district says no, then they are gone. Remember these trailers are not visiting schools in remote locations, which are no where near a church....This is the OC and we have more churches in Orange County than nail shops...I am eager to hear any and all thoughts you have on this strange concept of 'trailer churches' in our school district. Both good and bad. You won't hurt my feelings. I like an active dialogue.....

Team Snacks should be stopped!

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 09:22:00 GMT

It's Little League baseball season again. Something I used to complain about, but after surviving the nightmare of insane Pop Warner Football people and obsessed Club Soccer families…I now totally and completely embrace the sport of baseball. It fits us perfectly. The first couple of practices are always a hot bed of activity for the parents. Due to this thing called ‘mandatory volunteer’ clause. Which is the best oxymoron ever. If it is MANDATORY then you are not volunteering right? But that is okay….I love helping out. Because as you know by now… I am THAT mom. The one who is all involved and happy to be there. The one wearing the team colors from head to toe. So I will be pitch counting the games, scraping, setting up and watering the field, coordinating parties, applying band-aides and more. (We have the world’s best team mom already. But yes, I did volunteer to do it. Cuz I am insane.)

So you might be surprised by what I have to say today.

I am over the team SNACK thing.

Do you know what I am talking about?

So when a new team starts a little list goes around and all the parents pick a day to ‘bring an after the game snack.’ The boys on our team are ages 9-11, not toddlers or even infants who have to eat something every 3 hours. I am pretty damn sure my kids can wait till after we get them home to eat. And the majority of our games are at 6:30 at night. Meaning we will be ending about 9:30. What the hell is an appropriate snack then? A warm glass of milk?

So let’s say your kid just has to have a snack. Just HAS to eat the very minute the game is over…well, here is a radical idea...

How about YOU bring YOUR OWN kid a snack?

This would also eliminate the whole ‘snack-one-upness’ thing that goes on. The first week someone brings a granola bar and a juice, the following week that mom has to try to out-do…so she brings cookies and Gatorade. After a few weeks it has progressed to custom baseball themed cupcakes and ice cold glasses of milk or even pre-packaged $6 baseball theme box-snacks. If you are assigned one of the last games of the season, you start to consider bringing in a caterer or a roach coach to feed these poor hungry children who had to go a whole THREE hours without eating and are surely to pass out and die if they don’t get nourishment before they drive the 10 minutes home after the game.

If they had needed me to be the team mom, the first thing I would have implemented was getting rid of the team SNACK thing.

While reviewing our current game snack assignments for the season, I mentioned my idea to Jack. He of course looked me in the eye and said

“No Snack? Mom, that is un-American.”

Can anyone explain to me the point of these team snacks? Do you feel differently? Agree?

Let me know in the comments...

Find Marcy hanging out at her other place on
the internet The Glamorous Life Association.

New Printer? Kodak vs. HP

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 16:17:00 GMT

Buying new technology can be both intimidating and confusing. Sure there are 9 million websites with comparison charts and reviews, but sometimes you just wish a friend would tell you what to buy. Below you will see two short videos which show me testing many features on the HP and Kodak wireless printers. So if you are in the market...take a second to watch. You might be surprised by the results.

Marcy can be contacted with questions or additional product reviews by visiting Marcywrites.com.

What to expect at the next 'Checkbook Party'

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 09:46:00 GMT

Okay folks- this is a long ditty...I tried to edit and cut it down- but I gave up. It is a Monday so maybe you are looking for a good novel or blog post to read. In that case here goes:

Checkbook Party: party given for the sole purpose of selling a product. A la Tupperware. Or Partylite or candles...or jeans. Or just about anything you don't really need.

The phrase was created by my loving husband, who when I announced he would be on his own with the kids for a Friday night a few months ago- asked where I was going. When I told him it was a ‘candle party thing’…he said ’oh, no another Checkbook Party’- and the phrase was coined in my house from that moment on.

It is sad really, first you get the Evite, phone call or written invitation and you are excited. ‘Wow, someone wants me to come to their party!’….and then you read the fine print. This is not any regular let’s-get-together-and-drink party. Nope this is a party with a purpose. You are not going to be a guest at this party- You will be a CUSTOMER. Ah-ha! Now you know why you were invited..it is not your clever witty party jokes, or that you can bring a mean spinach dip…..no folks, you were invited because you have a checkbook. You were invited because every person the hostess knows was invited. The hostess was not selective- she asked everyone and anyone she knew (I was once invited by a neighbor I had never seen in person). But who cares right? It is a PARTY. So you put it on your calendar-why not?

The party itself looks remarkably like a real party- there is food, drinks and sometimes music. But strangely no men in site. Even the husband of the hostess is hiding in a room upstairs- or sent to the movies with the kids. Nope, no husbands, and no kids…but there ARE apple martinis. You decide to stay. You chat awkwardly with the strange collection of women: The hostess’s hair dresser, hostess’s sister, the hostess’s babysitter, mom’s from school and a few people who don’t even know the hostess but were brought along for moral support.

And then the unavoidable happens; the presentation begins. You look to the door and think ‘is there anyway I can get out of here?” Then you remember the hostess taking your purse and putting it in the guest room with the others. You are now a party hostage. You refill your martini and then sit down with the group and look up to the party presenter. OC Party presenters are like cheerleaders who have been to one too many Tony Robbins seminars. They are always ‘thrilled’ to be there and seem to smile continually. They show the candle/purse/cooking products like pros- with a silly story/joke/anecdote for each product. They always have a sale or a special on something. You listen and firmly plant your feet in thinking ‘ keep trying lady- but there is no way in heck I am buying’. And yet, inevitably by the end of the ‘show’ and after 2 or 3 martinis…there you are breaking out your checkbook. You never realized how essential candles are to your life. You absolutely MUST have that giant candle thing holder- even though you will never be able to actually light the candles with kids in the house without risk of burning the whole house down. You really really need those candles or lotion or fake designer purse or whatever. You decide to banish all other lighting EXCEPT candles in your home. You will now do everything by candle light. As you write your check you think to yourself 'this kind of party is a great idea': Cocktails, passive shopping and meeting new people…..will you go to the next Checkbook Party? YES! You bet-if you can read the invitation by candlelight.....

Please come visit Marcy in her candle lit
place on the internet The Glamorous Life Association.

Life. It's Comedy.

Disneyland in the Rain???

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 18:53:00 GMT

It was a crazy idea, take the kids to Disneyland in the middle of a bad rain storm. After convincing my too cool for school kids that rain poncho’s were VERY cool and fashionable- off we went. Things were manageable, and actually fun for a while. And I marveled at all the other insane people at the park that day too. Then, just before the kids ran off to ride Autotopia, a DOWNPOUR came. And never left. See the photo of the Disneyland guy standing there in the rain? He had his eyes closed. Like he was wishing he would open them and be in his dry warm home. So the boys rode while holding an umbrella and insisted it was fun and they weren’t cold. They aren’t the best liars…so we headed for the front gate. And that was when he heard the announcement “due to extreme weather conditions, Disneyland will be closing early today”. Apparently even Disneyland thought we were a little insane to be there.That is not a scratchy photo. That is RAIN pouring down. WOW.

By the time we made it back to the car we were SOAKED. Even with the ponchos, jackets and umbrellas. Just soaked.
Would I do it again?
Probably.
Because I am crazy like that.
Are you?

Come visit Marcy at her other home on the internet
The Glamorous Life Association.

Do you remember Zodys?

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 13:51:00 GMT

Before the Target and Wal-Mart battled for territory in OC, there were stores like Zodys who unabashedly labeled themselves ‘Fashion Discount’. Much like the Wal-Mart business model, Zody’s lived in stand alone buildings with huge parking lots out front. Inside under the glow of florescent lights was a multitude of departments which would occasionally have such odd pairing as toasters and underwear sharing aisle space. And in the days before we knew about things like Megan’s Law, my parents let me roam free while they shopped. They knew to find me in my the toy aisles when they were ready to go. Zodys was a dominate force in OC advertising, which frequent commercials showcased current specials. And in case you missed all the Zody commercials back in the day, because you were busy running to the kitchen to get a grape soda and some Jiffy Pop before Gimme A Break started, here is a typical one from 1981.

I think I miss the days of $7.99 acrylic blend scalloped trimmed sweaters, don’t you? And apparently I am not alone- Zodys has a Facebook fan page here.

Zody’s began in 1972 and by 1986 the last Zodys location closed, with many sites becoming Ralph Grocery Stores. This article from 1986 is fascinating in that it discusses the ‘void to be filled’. Who knew Target and Wal-Mart were waiting in the wings for the valuable OC market. I would love to hear your memories from Zodys. And if you worked there, and remember a little freckled faced pig-tailed girl who may or may not have OPENED a can of Play-Doh while waiting for her parents to finish buying a Hibachi propane grill, and then she PUT IT BACK on the shelf?

Um, it wasn’t me.

Marcy Massura can be contacted directly with comments and suggestions via email: marcymassura@gmail.com .
You can also visit her humor site The Glamorous Life Association or watch her OC & ME videos exploring Orange County right here on OCFAMILY.COM

photo courtesy

BADvertising: The Playgirl Club in the OC?

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 16:30:00 GMT

“Okay everyone pair up and act like you are having the time of your life on this gravel covered warehouse roof! That’s it Mike! Grab her beehind….Good Lisa, lift your leg a little higher…hey what’s the matter Annette? Well, I don’t care if Franco did say something inappropriate…try to break a smile will ya?”

There was a strange period of time in fashion history when the bell bottoms of the 70’s intersected with the bleached bombs of the 80’s.

Throw in a little Bedazzler design work and you get this stunning look.

I think it needs to be said that this fashion tragic club was somewhere near Disneyland.

Well to be specific and they were insanely specific it was one and a HALF miles south of Disneyland.

I am wondering if they thought just saying ‘2 miles’ would make people say “aw man I would go if it was 1 and half miles…. but 2 miles-for get it!That is just too dang far to go for entertainment excitement”

And, something tells me the ‘playroom’ they mention is not at all like the one I have at home.

If you enjoy so-bad-they-are-good vintage advertising, please come visit The Glamorous Life Association where you will find tons of these by clicking on the AdTalk button!

Whose homework is this?

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 05:39:00 GMT

Every day after the kids come home from school, It feels like I am buying a house or some other large purchase requiring tons of signatures. I sit down at the kitchen table and one at a time they present me with stacks of school papers and a pen and say “sign here, and here and here and here and….um, yeah over here too.”

Today was no different, except I decided to do something crazy today and actually read one of these papers I was blindly signing before I went back to my blogging house wifery. The one I choose to read was a letter home from my son’s 3rd grade teacher. It was a ‘compliance’ letter to the parents explaining the upcoming science lesson. Turns out kids no longer do riveting science projects like watching colored water wick its way up a paper towel…nope. My kid? He is learning about atoms, matter, energy and ATOMIC THEORY.

And he is in the THIRD GRADE.

Seriously?

Yes.

Seriously.

Then, I read the words every mom dreads the most.

Family Project.

Last time I checked I am not the one in 3rd grade. I do not need to learn about atoms or matter or Atomic Theory to get dinner on the table or the laundry finished. But she writes “these projects should prove interesting for the whole family and might stimulate some interesting conversation”. Um, I hate to say it Ms. Teacher but the only conversation this is going to stimulate is me cursing your name for giving ME, the mom, HOMEWORK.

So now I get to do messy science projects in my house, explain it to my kids and then clean up the mess?

So weird, because this sounds a lot like HOMESCHOOLING.

And this mama does a lot of things…but HOMESCHOOLING is not one of them.

I got an idea for you Ms. Teacher….

How about you do the teaching and I will do the parenting k?

Great. Glad we got that settled.

Unless of course you are available to discipline my kid after he gets busted for shooting his brother with a Nerf gun while he sleeping?

And I will be sure to call as soon as my kids get H1N1 and I need someone to do the parent vomit patrol too. After all, if you are gonna make me do all the messy teaching projects you should have to handle the messy parenting one k?

So if you still really wanna do a job swap…just let me know.

Otherwise stop it with your ‘family projects’ or I am gonna get all nuclear on you.

OC & ME: Visit to Balboa Island and more...

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 20:45:00 GMT

Hey its January in So Cal...let's go to the beach!
No I am serious.
Its true...I love to visit the beach cities in the off season. Less crowds, less half naked people and still all kinds of fun. On this episode I visit my favorite candy store, the original arcade, a pizza place with a freaky history and more....

I am always seeking story ideas. So if you know of a great/fun/qwirky person or place in Orange County- please let me know!

OC & ME: Mission San Juan Capistrano

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 15:17:00 GMT

Only 31 miles from my home is one of the oldest buildings in California. Mission San Juan Capistrano was founded in 1776 by Father Junipero Serra. Father Serra is well know figure in early Californian history.

Every 4th grader learns all about Father Serra and the history and purpose of his California Missions up and down our coast along the famous El Camino Real line.

The husband and I have decided to use this as a litmus test to grill people who claim to be California natives.

We will say "So tell me, what do you think of Father Serra?", and when they look back with a blank confused stare, we will know that they did not endure 4th grade in California and never had the glory of building a California Mission replica out of sugar cubes.

(Note: I am a 3rd generation Southern California native which is about as rare as finding a diamond in a gravel pit. Which er, I think is pretty rare. The Husband? He is mid-west thru and thru.)

This mission is so perfectly rustic, it feels as if you are on a movie set or Disney back lot. Only a Southern California native would say such a thing. As you now know, I have Disney and Hollywood running thru my veins.

And down the street is a favorite mid-century building...

I will be visiting San Juan Capistrano in an upcoming episode of OC & ME.
Stay tuned...

OC&ME: Watsons Drug Store

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:48:00 GMT

Did you know one of Orange County's oldest businesses is a great diner/pharmacy located in downtown Orange?
No?
Well, push play to visit Watsons Drug Store with me and see what you have been missing. I am sure you will want to visit soon.
Let me know when you go...I will meet you there.

A quirky tradition: Angelo & Vinci's

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 07:22:00 GMT

There is a restaurant in Downtown Fullerton called Angelo’s and Vinci’s. I have been coming to this place since I was a kid, and I still adore it. It is a feast for the eyes. The entire interior is a cornucopia (and I rarely don’t use that word often) of eclectic ‘findings’ lining the walls and ceiling. All the Italian cliches are there; chefs, flags, fake salami, cheese wheels and wine casks but the fun part is all the other stuff. The mannequins, the mirrors, the flying trapeze guys and a heavy use of Christmas lights. There was no master plan. No interior designer evident. It was just ’stuff’ and it was just nailed to any open surface. About the only wall with a semblance of a ‘plan’ is the back ‘love altar’ with photos of the owners ancestors. Like a little tribute to great-grandma Tortellini or Lasagna or something. Actually, the place is owned by the Steven Peck (born Ignazio Pecoraro) family. A successful choreographer and character actor starring in over 100 television and films who passed away in 2005. Next door to the restaurant was the prestigious Steven Peck Dance Studio and Repertory Company where as a teen, I was a member. Although we wouldn’t dare eat at the restaurant…after all dancer’s figures and insanely rich (and award winning) Italian food can make for some bad fat results. Mr. Peck would often visit in the dance studio and return to manage his beloved restaurant. Always happy it seemed. He was a ‘family’ man, and he treated everyone in his place just like family.

Now I return with my kids and I watch as they take it all in. The food, the knick-knacks and fun of it. Although on this last visit, Jack found it all a little too over-whelming. And I think Mr. Peck would have smiled at the sight.

This restaurant is to be featured on OC & ME video web series soon!

OC&ME: Decorating Disney!

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:20:00 GMT

Welcome to the first in my video series, featuring locations and events around Orange County. Introducing...

Yesterday I hung out at Disneyland and had the chance to interview several people who help make the holiday season at Disneyland special. Here is a short video talking about a few ways to 'decorate Disney' for the season....

Special thank you goes out to Disneyland for making these interviews possible.

Would you like to see more?
Please visit The Daily Disney for 2 more episodes shot this day.

Santa can't take a hint...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 09:56:00 GMT

Dear Santa;

When both of my kids sat down and said they wanted Swiss Army knives, and I asked to you while winking “Um, Santa do you think KNIVES are good good for boys to carry around?” I would have really appreciated you picking up on a damn hint being on my team and saying “Oh weapons and knives are not something little boys should be getting for Christmas!” instead of saying “What a FINE idea! I have carried my Swiss Army knife for 65 years! Got mine when I was 6!”…..yeah, way to go Santa. Next year why not drop off an Automatic weapon or bong while you are at it k?

Reality Check: This is the first year Tucker says he doesn’t believe (Jack hasn’t since he was 3. You know being the scientist and all)…but still Tucker took this visit very serious. He made us wait outside the line until he could think of the three things to ask for…So maybe he still believes just a little. We don’t have a lot of holiday consistency traditions since we move cross country about every 3 years and every other Christmas we travel to Chicago to spend it with my in-laws. But visiting Santa for a photo is something we always have done. And according to The Husband- we will always do until the boys are 18. Which is gonna be too awesome….I expect teenage eyerolls and all - that year.

I keep every Santa photo in a little book, along with a paragraph about the visit. It sits on the coffee table, and it is probably my most prized holiday decoration.

Weirdest thing? In the line area was a bribe-your-kid-to-be-good-vending-machine. Full of candy, small teddy bears and toys. Kinda awful awesome.

Happy Holidays Kid.
Now shut up and wait for Santa.

Come to Marcy's other home The Glamorous Life Association where comedy is served fresh daily!

Bizarre OC Playground

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 06:22:00 GMT

On a local school playground, we found an insane amount of writing. Like subversive lecturing really. These poor kids, even at recess they are getting told about such annoying valuable concepts as cooperation, sportsmanship and teamwork. I mean really, is that like even applicable in today’s Darwinian battle for survival success?

**insert comedic laughter here**

Even still, me thinks the PTA was using up a lot of left over cash that was earmarked for school improvements or the PTA Prez had a brother-in-law who was in the black-top painting biz because this blacktop playground….has A LOT of writing on it. Every where you look is a word or a square.

There is even a complete map of the United States. 'Cuz nothing says good playground fun like a rousing game of ‘Find Illinois’ with your classmates.

Most.....er, SOME if the writing makes sense. And yet some of it is astonishingly bizarre. For instance this little square with the words “Hustle” and “Desire” on it. Jack suggested this was the designated spot for doing vintage 70’s dances (that are spelled slightly different).

We were both at a lost about the “Desire” side. Unless this is also the designated make-out square. When we came across ‘Ski Jump’ Jack said “What the heck? Do they think this is Aspen?” So if any of you can enlighten me about the Hustle/Desire square I would love to hear your thoughts….and yes, stuff like this WILL keep me up at night.

Come visit Marcy at her real playground on the internet
The Glamorous Life Association today!

Friendship is a VERB

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:56:00 GMT

I have a friend who I talk about ALL the time. But she is busy. And I am busy and since we live a whole 14 miles away from each other it can be difficult to actually get together.

We try.

We really try…but something important always comes up and we always let each other off the hook with no guilt. Cuz we are FRIENDS. And we understand how much we are juggling. Recently she asked me to supply her a few dates that I was available to get together….and below you will see my e-mail reply.

She must have thought I was funny-because we finally got together…..and she even took this photo of me that day (isn’t it lovely?) against my protests. But my friend is bossy....er I mean, persistent and I had no choice but to pose for her. In a parking lot. As people watched....and possibly laughed. But that is okay...I think they were just jealous of us.

Dear Ms. Broughton:

We would like to inform you your current subscription with Marcy J. Massura Inc. Is nearing the end of its term. We do not wish to lose you as a subscriber and hope you will chose one of the following steps to rectify the situation as soon as possible.

Option A: Meet for lunch in downtown Orange on any of the following days and times.

(list of dates and times was put here)

Option B: Meet for lunch in downtown Orange on any of the following days and times with children (husbands optional)

(list of dates and times was put here)

Option C: Profess your adoration for all things Marcy J. Massura thru the use of sky writing and/or interpretive dance.

We know during these difficult economic times it can often be difficult to maintain all your subscriptions. We hope that you have benefited from your subscription to Marcy J. Massura, and will choose to renew. We value you as a key subscriber who has influenced the direction Marcy J. Massura has taken over the course of the last year and hope you will consider this renewal offer. Please advise as soon as possible to retain your on-going position as super friend and soul mate to Ms. Marcy J. Massura.

Regards,

Mrs. Narci Ssistic
Subscription Manager
Marcy J. Massura Inc

? ? *This offer is extended to an undetermined date of your choice.

Come visit Marcy at her other corner of the internet, The Glamorous Life Association, where she is always accepting applications for new friends, er....members.

Bowling might be my new hobby, if my liver can take it.

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:40:00 GMT

So I was away from the house this weekend for about 6 hours. And while I was away The Husband took the kids to a good ‘ol fashioned rummage sale up the street at our church.

I was more than a little bummed I missed it (from 7am to 1pm only? What the heck church ladies?)….but that’s okay because when I got home I discovered the boys had purchased a gas tank to a Shadow Motorcycle (just cuz it looked cool) and this…The camo green bowling ball and case belonging to Mrs. Alice McBratney.

Inside the bag the boys discovered several bowling tournament sheets with scores and teams form 1967. And also by the time I came home, Jack and Tucker had Googled Mrs. Alice Bratney to see that she lived in San Diego, graduated high school in 1945 and her parents once owned an appliance store. Yeah you heard me right- I have trained my kids to look for the story behind random items too. Poor children, they are destined to a life of yard sales, antique stores and of course, church rummage sales.

But the real treasure for me in all this, was the game sheet. The one that gave up the team names in Alice’s 1967 bowling league. Now these seem like the kinda women I could drink ,er..... BOWL with on Wednesday nights. Not sure which team would be the best fit for me…. The Saddle Baggers? Four Nags? or perhaps the understated Team #4.

I think maybe I would do well on The Unpredictables. But if they wouldn’t have me, there is always Alice’s team; The Brand-D-Sniffers. They were in 13th place and I think we know why. But I bet you, they had lots of laughs and I am sure Alice was the life of the lane every Wednesday night from 6-10pm.

Come visit Marcy at her other corner of the internet
The Glamorous Life Association
where she is always looking for new people to join her bowling team.

What was your first car?

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:06:00 GMT

As I go thru this motherhood thing making mental notes of all my children's first's (first school dance, first bike etc) I thought I would make a list of some of my own. Cuz its fun.

First celebrity obsession crush (and only): Shawn Cassidy

First dog: Bookie

First cat: Boo-Boo Kitty

First memory of being jealous: Kindergarten. Was not asked to be Supply monitor. April Bingesner was. Still annoyed.

First 'boy'friend: Scott Fairfeild. Except he wasn't really aware he was my boyfriend. Might have been cuz I was 4 and he was 5. Yup he was an older man.

First ‘boy friend’ that knew about it: Jarrod Hurst in 6th grade (ran into him this year. Read it here)

First kiss: I have no memory of this. Wasn’t Jarrod. THAT I know.

First date: Roller skating at Skatetopia with non other than the non-kissing-Jarrod

First sleepover: My house. 8th birthday. We danced, we did make-up. It was great. April Bingesner went home early-she was sick.hmph.

First time attending Sunday School: We made Christmas tree ornaments with fabric and Styrofoam balls. I still have one.

First roller coaster ride: Knott’s Berry Farm and I only did it to impress my friends.

First favorite brand name: Jordache (my dad’s company-see earlier post here)

First pair of legwarmers: 1978 worn over the Jordache jeans with wedge sandals. I thought I was SO HOT. I was 8!

First huge misunderstanding: 4th grade. Julie Zevenberger thought I was laughing at her for getting a question wrong. I wasn’t. But she hit me in the arm at recess anyway.

First cell phone: 1990 and it was huge. Mom got it at Good Guys for my birthday.

First computer: A PS3…1992. Fell in love on day one.

First huge disappointment: Losing to JoAnne Escasa in 5th grade for School President. I still want a re-count.

First Regret: Running against JoAnne Escasa for School President.

First big family vacation: Hawaii 1977. And it was wonderful.

First trip to Europe: 1984 without my parents whoo-hoo!

First heartbreak: Tony, 10th grade. He dared to moved away from me. The nerve.

First stay in the hospital: Kindergarten. I had mono. Entire school class walked up to hospital and said hi from the window.

First car: Camaro Z28 white got it the day I got my license.

First license: To drive. On my 16th birthday. DMV appt time? 8:15.

First Convertible: Red BMW 1995

First ‘mom’ car: Jeep Cherokee (was wedding gift. Thank you FIL)

First time on an ATC/Quad: I was 4. (1974) Still love it.

First job: ‘Broom girl’ at hair salon (my Aunts)

First paycheck: $10 for a Saturday afternoon

First apartment: San Diego State. Hardy Ave. (yes, that is Party-Hardy Ave. the one and only)

First house: Larchmont (Hollywood) 1996. Bought it before I was even married. Loved it.

First husband: Ed (and the last)

Remember that first car up there? Here is a video of me driving to school…

Oh and don’t worry I went back and picked up the boxes…

Hey pot-head. Stop yelling at my kids.

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 22:33:00 GMT

I am a huge fan of free speech.

I mean OBVIOUSLY.
After all- I am blogger.

However while visiting Huntington Beach recently for lunch at Dukes and a walk thru the surf shops I was faced with these people.

Well to be fair not JUST these people in the photo. But a whole gaggle of pot heads....er, pro-marijuana people screaming at passing cars and passing people. And they weren’t just saying “Hey legalize marijuana!” nope. It was (and I am quoting here) “What the **** you lookin at? You should legalize ****'n pot now! You ****'n losers!!!” (um astriks there to protect the innocent) And these angry profanities were yelled at the TOP OF their lungs by shirtless jobless pot head men sporting more tattoos than a guy on death row. It was scary and intimidating. And they were yelling at MY KIDS. I was too chicken to get THOSE GUYS photos, so I found these mellow guys and they happily posed for me. I especially like how the guy in back has decided to go a step further and fight for more schools and less jails….which I am not sure exactly how it ties into the marijuana debate, but way to go pot dude. You are gettin an A+ for effort.

The thing that I didn’t get at all, was who were they trying to convince with all this effort? I mean they weren’t at a rally or outside a court house. They were on the street by the pier. Maybe they were all too high when they came up with this idea. Next time fellas, you might wanna put down the bong and pick a place to protest that would be a little bit more effective for your cause.

Of course this whole scene promoted a ‘drugs are bad’ and ‘free speech’ discussion with my boys.

And on the upside, my boys now think that people who smoke pot are total crass rude idiots.

So thanks for that.

*

Before you ask: This post is not a commentary on this cause. I actually believe in medical use of Marijuana for specific illnesses. However, feeling “totally stressed cuz your girlfriend broke up with you” is not an illness.

After all, that is what beer is for…

Ed Hardy? No thanks.

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:16:00 GMT

Every time I mention Ed Hardy I get awesome feedback. (and by Awesome I mean a lot of people yell at me and a lot of people agree with me. Kinda 50-50)

Remember the Ed Hardy car?

Well, The Association is always working hard to fix all things wrong with the world.

Starting with ED HARDY deep v-neck shirts with rhinestones and glitter made for MEN. (I plan to move on to the men wearing tank tops and SCARVES next.)

But maybe these (John Gosselin) guys DON’T KNOW how gay er....bad they look.

Maybe no one told them?
Perhaps its time for a bumper sticker like this.

And I have solved other pressing problems in the world like bra straps and butt cracks with this business card.

Click here to read…

Clearly I am covering all the big issues in Orange County.
This is hard hitting journalism. Okay no it isn't.

But the business card post? Is my all-time most popular post.

Gets hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hits everyday.

Maybe I should actually print these and sell them?

* Photo note: Not my car. My car is clean, waxed and perfect at all times.
Okay. No it isn't.

Come see more ways I am trying to make OC a better place. Sorta.
The Glamorous Life Association

A few gift ideas for gaming kids!

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:12:00 GMT

Worried already about what to give your kids for the Holidays?
ME TOO.

Okay, I have a confession to make- usually by this time in the year I AM NEARLY DONE with my Christmas shopping. I know. Type-A, Control freak and all those other lovely things you want to call me right now. But here is the kicker…This year? I AM NOT. This year is the first year- I have no idea what to get my boys. And when I ask them, they stay stupid things like ‘a hover car’ or a ‘laptop’. Yeah, not happening kid. I tried to convince them to ask for a new family room sofa- but they could see right thru my plan. So when I had an opportunity to visit EA Games to test new releases I thought it would be perfect for pre-shopping. And I was totally right.

A huge room full of giant TVs, computers and handheld thingies to try out all the latest for Wii, PSP, Playstation and DS. And here was the coolest part, next to each game set up was a real person WHO HELPED CREATED the game. It was fun chatting with them about design and concept…but it was more fun to see Tucker totally fall in love with some of these games.

So here are the things we are most excited about:

Nerf for Wii: Finally a Nerf shooting game that won’t leave me with a million of those stupid darts all over the floor. Its all virtual baby.

G.I.Joe: I am anti military/war games. BUT of all of them I have seen on the market this is the least violent. No blood and the players who get hit just ‘disappear’.

Sims: My kids have never done the whole Sims thing…but Tucker was enthralled with Secret Agent Sims. You solve mysteries…very CSI in a totally SIMS way.

And to my surprise?

There was something there that I actually WANT!

Active by EA. Its similar to the Wii Fit…only it is completely different. It is HARD. A real workout. I actually did it while I was there and broke a sweat. Test groups have lost up to 20 lbs in a few months using it daily. So I am seriously considering buying this ‘game’ for myself.

Hey EA my laundry would like to thank you for providing Tuck with a color coordinated snow cone. My laundry thanks you.

Please visit Marcy at The Glamorous Life Association.
Comedy served fresh daily!

Now here is a book for burning.

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:33:00 GMT

I actually look forward to most Sundays, because it is my chance to get caught up on laundry and housework while the rest of the family lay on the couch like lazy bums.... er, I mean they are RELAXING.

This is a jewel of a page from a long ago book about pregnancy, which I recently found on the shelves of a library. Can you believe books like these are STILL able to be checked out? In case you don't have vision like a super hero, this is the copy:

"With all due respect for the liberation of women, someone has to clean the house and do all kinds of boring chores. Actually those jobs don’t take too long, and this photo shows Judith with the vacuum cleaner. Look at her closely and see the excellent posture she maintains as she walks around the room, pushing the machine on the carpet. Her shoulders are relaxed, her head is high and in doing this rather boring but occasionally necessary job, she is aware of watching her posture and supporting her baby well with her abdominal muscles."

I think I enjoy the fact that my day-to-day existence is referred to as ‘boring’ not once, but twice. But with ‘all due respect’ of course….UGH.

If you enjoy vintage ads, album covers and more that are so bad they are good...be sure to stop by The Glamorous Life Association for plenty more!
It's comedy served fresh daily!

A traveling husband. A happy marriage.

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:01:00 GMT

When recently asked what was the success of my 11 year marriage (that is like 40 years in Southern California years) I replied
“Well, he travels a lot”. I first heard my mom use this same line when I was a kid. Only now do I understand the comedy of it.

And tonight my husband leaves for 2 weeks on business trip overseas. He travels overseas about every 8 weeks, and is gone for at least 2 weeks at a time. He has always traveled for business. Actually a week after we met (and decided to marry) he left for Egypt. So this is nothing new. Last night over dinner my girlfriend asked ‘so where is he going?” and I laughed and smiled and said- “I have no idea”. “So when does he leave? Is it LAX?” And again I said “I have no idea-sometime Sunday night" And am I a bad wife you think? Perhaps. But I think I am just so used to him traveling – it is no longer a big deal anymore. (By the way I found out he is going to Hong Kong, Ningbo China, Bangladesh, Vietnam and some other place I still can’t remember or spell)

So yes, it is true we spend a lot of time apart because of his work travel. In addition to that, I am not one to stay home and work around his vacation schedule. This summer alone I went to Chicago twice and Catalina Island on my own with the boys. I know he would have loved to have gone with us- but he has a hectic work schedule and was not able.

Close friends of ours have the polar opposite marriage…they do everything together. They wake up on Saturday and run all the family errands together. When they are home from work they are always, always together. Sometimes I envy their ‘togetherness’ and sometimes I think they are a little insane. I mean I actually look forward to going to Costco ALONE. Sad but true. But they are a very happy couple..so it works for them.

On weekends The Husband and I use the ‘divide and conquer’ method. He will run to the store in the morning before we wake up, and later I will hit the Dry Cleaner or car wash while he watches the kids at home. And when we are home I am either running around cleaning, or wasting life on the computer and he is watching golf or on his laptop in the other room.

But we are still a very close couple.
For reals.

We talk several times during the day when he is at work, and since I was once in his industry we discuss his work issues and office politics for just entertainment. And of course there is e-mail. We are nearly famous for the amount of emails we send to each other. Sometimes from different rooms in the house. (Usually forwarding something- so don’t worry I don’t e-mail him ‘what do you want for dinner?’ from the other room- well, not USUALLY).

I love being married and think I have a successful marriage. I do yearn for a 2nd honeymoon with JUST him for several days at a time. But I am sure that will come someday. So is my marriage perfect? No way- but it is perfect for US. I wonder how the dynamics of our marriage differ from others…from yours?

Come visit Marcy at her other home on the internet The Glamorous Life Association

Do you dress your kids to match?

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:25:00 GMT

Dear Jack and Tucker;

Mommy is very sorry for almost always dressing the two of you in MATCHING outfits until you were about 5 and 3. That was when you asked mommy to ’stop making you look like twins who were 2 years apart’. Mommy is also sorry she also was always dressed in a coordinating outfit to your ensembles as well. Mommy is sorry she made the three of us look like a Sears clothing advertisement every time we left the house. Mommy is also sorry she faked surprise when other people would say ‘Oh my look how all of you match!’, when Mommy would reply “Oh gosh we do? How funny! It is a total accident’. Yes, Mommy is very sorry.

But on the upside- we have lots of cute pictures of the three of us where we all look very well color coordinated. So that is good right? And as for Daddy…well, I TRIED to get him to match us. But he refused to play along. Guess he was on to my insanity early. So mommy is sorry. Please forgive.

Love,

Mommy

P.S. Send your future therapy bills to me. I deserve it.

(Don’t think for one minute the matching bib was an accident either. I am so ashamed. It is an illness.)

Come visit Marcy at her other online home The Glamorous Life Association where you can see all the things she is doing now, that will require apologizing for later.

When cool moms say dorky things.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:09:00 GMT

A few days ago I was talking to my boys after school and they were both talking about the kids in their classes that are weird….er, I mean.... ‘unique’. They described kids I knew from my youth: the ones who seem to always have a runny nose, the ones who ask a million and a half questions just to impress the teacher and even a whole group of kids that stay IN during recess to work on their homework and to discuss Dungeons and Dragons (yup, it is still out there). So I tried to take the opportunity to talk about the importance of being kind ‘to everyone’. That is the right thing to do blah, blah, blah. And somewhere in the back of mind was this book cover-which I saw on the internet somewhere And although I laughed HYSTERICALLY at it-it must have stuck with me, because I ACTUALLY repeated the title words to my boys:

"Anybody can be cool, but it takes practice to be AWESOME."

To which my son replied “Mom. You get dorkier every day.”

And all I could do is agree with him.

(Photo note: not only is this guy AWESOME he has the most racially diverse group of friends found on any book jacket anywhere. And look at the adoration they have for him. He is now a cult leader. Awesome.)

To hear all the dorky things that come out of Marcy's mouth
visit her other home on the internet The Glamorous Life Association.

The many things we call mom

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:08:00 GMT

I am an OC mom, a wife and a whole bunch of other things to a whole bunch of other people. I have more job titles and positions than would fit on any business card. I am a daughter, a sister, team mom and room mom. I am the neighbor, the confident and the comrade. But for some reason the news people and journalists want to simplify things…and box me in to titles…that well, I would prefer they didn’t.

What I get most, after leaving behind my career in the apparel industry is the dreaded acronym; S.A.H.M.. I don’t like the term “Stay At Home Mom” (SAHM). Even though I do not get paid for my ‘work’- I am rarely at home. I am volunteering at the kids school, planning school parties, assisting on field trips, taking kids and their friends to baseball practice and all the rest.

I also do not like “Full Time Mom”…um, hello?… from the day you give birth you are a “full time mom”…is there anyway to be a ‘part-time mom’? If so, and it comes with health insurance it might be a good gig for me. Some days all moms wish we could do it ‘part time’ and just let the next shift clean up the vomit/diaper/dishes-but as far as I know there is no kid-share program in my county.

I also find the term ‘Housewife’ objectionable. Am I married to the house? Am I the wife of the house? If so then I think I have the right to tell the ‘house’ to start picking up after itself. And then there is the IRS form favorite “homemaker”. It implies I actually make the home from the ground up. And don’t get me started on the term ‘soccer mom’. I don’t know how, but that term has such negative connotations…implying mini-vans, mom-sweats attire and caddy gossip sessions.

So then what do I want to be called?
Well, I am loving a new one; S.W.A.T. (Smart Women with Available Time) to replace the a fore mentioned SAHM. And as for the IRS…I am going to stick with the classic ‘Domestic Manager’. Of course I am a member of the M.O.B. (Mother Of Boys- yes, I have two of them.) as well as was recently 'made' in the ever powerful OC MOMfia.

And as for my kids? Well, they have called me The Queen Almighty on occasion….but I am really just happy when they call me MOM. Unless it is more like MAAAAoooooOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!! Then I pretend I don’t hear them…because it either means they broke something or somebody hit someone somewhere. Or someone is calling someone a name. Of course THAT is something I can sympathize with…..

Visit Marcy at her regular hang out The Glamorous Life Associaiton for more daily fun exploring how motherhood is pretty much nothing like the brochure.

Bringing back the PeeChee Folder...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 12:47:00 GMT

So today I am off to the office supply store to pick up a 6 slot accordion folder, set of dividers, multiple color highlighters and cold laminating sheets for my 3rd grader. These are just some of the school supplies I thought they were kidding so I didn’t buy er ...forgot to send him with when school started many months ago. Silly me I assumed pencils, paper and fresh crayons were gonna be enough. Since when did 3rd graders need such sophisticated stuff to learn? Next year I fully expect an iPhone to be on the school supply list as well. When I was a kid, my school supplies consisted of pencils, paper and a few brand new PeeChee folders. As a matter of fact, that one up there? THAT IS MINE from 9th or 10th grade. (Don’t ask me why I saved these things. I must have known I would have a blog someday….)

This comes to you from my Molly Ringwald phase. I completely thought I WAS HER from the Breakfast club. I like how I wrote “Breakfast Club” under the photo in case you didn’t know who it was. Remember covering your folders in clear tape? Awesome. I have no idea what the heck ‘Commander Salamander’ was…although I suspect it was a band. A band I was probably pretending to like to impress a boy. I cringe seeing “U2” on there. I hate U2 now. I wonder what happened to turn me like that? I thought I always hated them. Guess not. I am slightly amused at my “love/lust” doodle. What the heck was that about? Should we look inside?…… There is a killer A+ essay on e.e.cummings from my honors English (which if you note the date on the cover was due on May 24th), some vocab test I completed using full-on CALLIGRAPHY (WTH?) and a huge printout of “prefixes, roots and suffixes and their Latin meaning”. I bet I thought I should keep that last one since it would come in handy when I was a National Geographic reporter after college. And the back? That consists of a price tag from Skaggs Drug Store (5 for $1.00) and a photo of Matt Dillon.

I miss the PeeChee.

I am going to propose they get added to the school supply list next year.

And then I am gonna show my kids how to waste a roll of tape putting over magazine photos on the PeeChee

Perfect.

Actually…..Just PeeChee.

Update: just learned they no longer make PeeChee folders. A moment of silence please.

Update Update: Someone says that Mead still makes them. But according to the Mead website…they don’t

Update Update Update: They go for A LOT of money on E Bay. Not that I was pathetically shopping Ebay for PeeChee folders or anything. Just heard. From someone.

Update Update Update UPDATE: Mead just contacted me themselves. And they have informed some PeeChee’s are still sold at select retails for the time being.

WHEW!

I guess all you guys can stop the picketing for the "Bring Back The PeeChee" Campaign.

We will have to find another worthwhile cause.
Should we bring back scratch-n-sniff stickers?
I will get right on that.

Want to read more by Marcy? Visit her site The Glamorous Life Association
Click here!

How pink ribbons are driving me insane....

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:29:00 GMT

October, national breast cancer awareness month, is now behind us- and frankly not a minute too soon. I have pretty much had it up to here (my hand is super high in the air right now) with the dang PINK RIBBON. I get kinda ticked every time I see a pink ribbon for breast cancer awareness. And that means I get ticked… a lot. Because they are putting pink ribbons on EVERYTHING. No wonder survival rates are improving every year. “Honey I am gonna take the dog for a walk with my pink ribbon leash, listening to my ipod from my pink ribbon arm holder, wearing my pink ribbon clogs right after I finish making the brownies with my pink ribbon spatula for the pink ribbon card game tonight!”

{Inner voice: Oh Marcy. You are so going to hell for this post.}

Stick with me. I got my reasons…..My dad died of esophageal cancer, and there isn’t some giant-take-over-the-world group trying to raise money for THAT cancer. And my dad’s cancer? It has like only a 2% survival rate or something- which in this day and age is INSANE. Where the hell is the ribbon for that cancer? We need a dang ESOPHAGEAL ribbon. Not yellow, cuz that is used for Lance I-cheated-on-my -wife-but-I-survived-cancer-and-can-ride-a-bike-fast-so-people-think-I-am-a-saint Armstrong, and blue is for Prostate cancer. Hey how about ORANGE? It’s my favorite color. Yes, Orange ribbon’s it is. I will make up buttons too…”Wear your orange to support esophageal cancer!” Or maybe it should be “Wear your orange for the one of the cancers no one can spell without spell check”. I am gonna get right on that…just as soon as I make the T-shirts I promised my dad I would make: “CANCER SUCKS” but never did.

I am only not really but sorta kidding of course. I think fighting ANY form of cancer is a good thing. Cuz I figure after they wipe out breast cancer, they are gonna be sure to jump all over researching Esophageal cancer.

UPDATE: I discovered with my mad late researching skills shortly after finishing the post above that it turns out thanks to THIS SITE which lists all the ‘cancer colors’, I have now learned that Esophageal cancer already has a ’color’…and get this? It is Periwinkle Blue. Really? Periwinkle Blue? That is like the most ambiguous of all colors. If I wear a periwinkle ribbon I just know people are gonna come up to me and say “hmmm is that blue for Prostate Cancer? Or is that lavender for Gynecological Cancer? Or maybe it is blue for Thyroid cancer?” (yes, same as Prostate cancer. WTH?)

And what is my favorite ORANGE already assigned to you ask?

Leukemia.

Click over and look at the list. Some of the ‘colors’ are pretty funny (well, funny in a cancer supporting kinda way) Like someone is trying to make it as HARD as possible to show your support. For example I give you Bone Cancer = white with a gold OUTLINE. An outline? Whoaaa there cancer color buddy- that is pretty tricky you know, for a RIBBON. And poor Lung Cancer…it is PEARL. I don’t even think they make ribbons in PEARL do they?

Its all too complicated.
I think I will just wear a rainbow ribbon.
Oh crap. I think that makes me gay right?
And on the upside, while researching this post I found the perfect t-shirt to wear to my son’s next baseball game..

Thaaaaat’s right.
“Save 2nd Base” with two big baseball’s over my ta-tas.
See? I totally care.
And I am not going to hell for this post.
God loves comedy.
I hope.