OC Family - Moms. Kids. Life. - (The Glamorous Life Association)

Dysport: The European Botox comes to the OC

Sun, 26 Sep 2010 09:35:00 GMT

I have a lot of jokes about aging. “I keep running from gravity but it keeps pulling me down”, “I don’t have a forehead. I have a FIVEhead” and the favorite…“It’s that time of year when I make the really big decisions in life; Bangs or Botox”. And as you would suspect behind that cliché attempt at comedy is a real anxiety about my ever changing face. Some mornings it is like whole things shifted in the night, like my head has its own plate tectonics and it just had a 8.9 quake and I am left with the after effects of shifting continents and mountain ridges. And not to mention the temporary housing issues.

It doesn’t help that I do not get enough sleep, can find no money time to get regular facials and chances are I am still not drinking enough damn water. On top of that, I choose to live this little life of mine as a blogger and video host. So I am often faced with photos of me, taken by others, posted on the internet that leave me…speechless. I have come to accept that they are not bad photos. They are just showing what I really look like. See the real problem is that in my head I am still 27, a perfect size 6, cellulite free, and not a wrinkle in sight….and with one look at a photo I have to accept the reality.

And the reality is; I am a 39 yr old housewife….who looks exactly like…… a 39 year old housewife. (and not the glamorous OC housewives of TV land. Just like the regular normal generic brand kind.)

So today I decided to go try something. It is called DySport. And it is basically the European version of Botox. (before you all ask, I went to Dr. Lambros in Newport Beach. He came highly recommended. With 9 million years of experience). The first meeting with a plastic surgeon is very very awkward. Marcy why don’t you tell us all about it?

So I waited in the room with the paper on the table. He came in and said hello with a smile and in my head I am thinking “Oh my god. Does he see a million things to fix on me?”. Instead he said ‘you look great!’ (I think he thought I was 50. In which case I do look great. Except that I AM THIRTY NINE) which was also followed sometime later with the news that my eyes are two different sizes. Um, thanks for THAT doc. Now I have something new to obsess about. He asked me what I was there for (as if it wasn’t OBVIOUS)….so I lifted my bangs and said “THIS. I need these wrinkly things to go away.” Before long he was breaking out a tiny needle asking me to smile, frown and wrinkle my nose and then bing, bang, boom…..he poked it in about 8-10 spots and we were done. Took all of 10 minutes, and no pain. You feel the needle go in a tiny bit (these are smaller than regular medicine needles) but you do not feel the DySport liquid going in (which I feared). So now I wait. It might start working as soon as tomorrow. Or maybe a week. Depends on metabolism and other stuff.

The end result, besides being excited about possibly improving my face is that I am really glad I took this step. I took action to take care of something that really was bothering me. It was holding me back. And mainly really just made me sad. The mirror has not been my friend lately. Hopefully now, I will at least know I am taking a small action against this damn aging thing.

Oh have I mentioned I AM TURNING 40 this year????

This is not easy stuff people. And don’t tell me 40 is the new 30.

It isn’t

It is FORTY.

But at least I won’t let it win without a fight.

UPDATE: Before and After photos of me HERE!

$150 Naturalizer Shoe Give-Away!

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 19:37:00 GMT

There are two seasons in Southern California.

Oh, I know they try to teach the kiddies a myth about FOUR seasons a year- Making them color in orange/yellow/brown leaves at the beginning of the year, then create pathetic cotton ball snowman art work before Christmas (for kids who are more likely to associate swimming in their pool than playing in the snow over that holiday. But whatev.) And this is followed by classrooms decorated with ladybugs and flowers until finally it is all about images of smiling sunshines and beach towels. So I know they try to tell us there are FOUR seasons. But the reality is there are TWO seasons here:

Flip Flop Season and Boot Season.

That is all.

I get equally excited about both. Early spring I make a run to grab my favorite flip flops in every color (Old Navy ones for me), and then in late summer I start stopping by the mall just to get an idea of the new boots for the season. This year, I already found these beauties by Naturalizer.

(Yeah I know. I thought they only made like old-lady comfort shoes too. But turns out that these ARE comfort shoes and well, I am actually technically old.)

These boots are so comfortable it is insane. It has convinced me to go try some of their other dress shoes too….maybe just maybe I would be able to wear cute heels for more than 2 hours at a time.

Upon bestowing my love the boots on the fine Naturalizer folk, I was able to get them to give me another pair to GIVE AWAY.

Well actually it is a gift card for $150 for you to buy ANY PAIR YOU WANT of Naturalizer shoes.

So here is the dealio. You can get up to 3 ways to enter. Go check out their site and then…

1. Leave a comment over on this site and…

2. Go ‘like’ The Glamorous Life Fan Page then leave another comment here and…

3. Go follow me on Twitter and leave another comment here.

(you can do one or all three)

I will select the winner next Friday (9/24)

Good Luck to all!!!

What to expect at the acupuncturist.

Sun, 12 Sep 2010 10:12:00 GMT

Today I went and paid a lady I don’t know to stick needles into me. That’s right. I did it. I tried acupuncture to help with my back pain. I will spare you the medical details but lets just say I suffer from severe back pain ever since I had kids. I broke my tailbone with both of them, then developed chronic sciatica. What all that means is, when my back goes out (and it can be for no reason at all. Including waking up wrong) I have a level 10 pain from my toes to my neck. Sometimes making walking a challenge. Fun huh?So I am in the middle of recovering from one of those episodes (not the good TV kind that are over in 30 min either) when it was suggested I try acupuncture. Suggested by who? Oh by a contact on Facebook of course. You know where all wise medical decisions are made. And after announcing on Facebook that I was going to do it…I got more than a few emails from people curious about the process. So guess what? I am gonna tell you what to expect.

1. Office was in a strip mail. Next door to a Sewing Machine repair shop. My joke about needles and that being ‘convenient’ was lost on the staff.

2. Arrived early. Filled out the usual medical forms including insurance info. Yup. Most insurance cover it now.

3. Went into the consultation room (and office) and chatted with my practitioner. She asks me lots of weird questions. And got very specific. I started with’um, my back hurts can you fix it?’ and in 20 minutes I was telling her about the flow of my period, color of my urine and more. And? she asked to see my tongue. Which was followed with a disconcerting ‘Hummmm’. Then she looked at my hands. And in a surprised way said “oh my. You didn’t tell me you have low blood pressure! (which I do) and you didn’t say anything about having a hard time staying asleep (which is true)”. I was more than a little freaked out at this point. But she went on to explain how acupuncture can help blah blah blah. To be honest I was tuned out. My back was killing me. And I was eyeing any horizontal area in there. I needed to lay down.

4. After the way-to-personal meet and greet she took me to a little room. It looked like a massage room and sounded like a massage room with that weird Enya music playing. So it turns out you don’t get naked for acupuncture. This was a big question for me. But I did remove my skirt, down to undies and left my top on.

5. After grunting and groaning thru my back pain as I positioned my self on the table face down (head into a little doughnut hole thingy), she began. First sterilizing my skin with alcohol and then BAM the needles go in.

6. You don’t feel the needles go in.BUT…

7 If you are totally broken like me, once the needle is in the muscle- the body gets concerned and seems to send out a search party…so all of a sudden after the needle has been in for 10-20 seconds you get a twang or twinge or something at the site. Then it goes away. It is not pain. It is just a ‘sensation’.

8. I am feeling pretty damn zen at this moment in my underwear with my head in the hole of the table, while a lady puts needles in my back. I was proud of myself. Especially when she announced she was done ‘with the needle therapy’. I was looking forward to napping for a few minutes why those needles did what ever in the heck they are supposed to do. And then she says…

9. “Now I will hook you up to an electronic stimulator. And this will activate the muscles involuntarily and will help stimulate the nerves.” Ohhhhhkaaaaaayyyyy. This was news to me. I had not planned on being electrocuted- but whatever. I was half naked with metal needles sticking out of my back. It would be hard to drive home like that…so I agreed and let her ‘hook up’. (don’t believe me? I took a pic of the thing when I was leaving the room.)

10. What came next was odd. She would turn on the needles one at a time. It felt like a little pulse with most, and with others? Entire muscle movement. Hey my butt is moving and um, I wasn’t making it do that. It was a strange sensation.

11. I did that for 15 minutes. She left me alone and told me to relax. Which I think was her way of trying to be funny.

12. Her assistant came back and took out the needles (didn’t feel it at all) and then coated me with a ‘cooling hot gel’. I thought I didn’t understand her broken English. But I understand now. It went on freezing and by the time I got home it was burning HOT.

Oh the back pain? Let’s just say I had NO TROUBLE getting off that table. Or in my car. Or out of my car. And right now I can see my son left his belt on the floor, and I plan to BEND OVER and pick it up. Do I feel 100% cured? No. But remarkably, tremendously IMPROVED. I am going to let her do this a few times over the next couple weeks. Then just down to tune ups after that. It is very possible this is going to be a life long thing for me.It is amazing what you will consider when you are pain. But I am so glad I gave this a try….

Marcy is dying for you to stop by her other home on the internet. And while you are there maybe you could pick up stuff on the floor for her?

I hate the school year as much as my kids.

Tue, 07 Sep 2010 09:31:00 GMT

Every year around this time, I reflect on another summer gone and really for me it is the closing of a year. I know most people do this kind of reflection at Christmas or New Years or even on birthdays but for me it has always been the end of summer….and the beginning of a new school year. I remember as a child myself eagerly awaiting the new school year. The idea of a ‘clean slate’ and a fresh start was magical to me. It was the ultimate in do-overs. And now, as I fill up new backpacks with freshly sharpened pencils and crisp lined paper, I am over come with a sense of melancholy. My boys are growing up. And there is not a damn thing I can do about it. Suddenly I panic and start the mantra in my head “I haven’t done enough with them and they are slipping away”.

So in between my tears I thought I would do something to help me put it in perspective. So I made this video. I honestly made it for just me. I never had intended to post it or share it with anyone. I made just to help me remember, and cherish and soak up the amazing goodness that is MY BOYS. And their relationship as brothers in particular. Each of them would not be whole without the other.

So for the 7 or so Jack & Tucker fans out there I decided to go ahead and put the video up…..And if you do watch it, pay attention to the first song. It is very special to me. And really captures how I feel about being a mom.

Update: Song is 'Faith' by Kristen Andreassen

Read more by Marcy and why she hates the school year by visiting her at her home here.

New haircut. New hope.

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 08:16:00 GMT

Going to the hair salon is like a little trip to the ‘hope store’ for me. I walk in with unrealistic expectations. I make jokes when they ask “what would you like today? “Oh whatever hair cut makes me look like a supermodel. And 40 lbs thinner would be nice” They laugh politely. But I am only half kidding. What? Are you telling me there aren’t any kindasorta totally overweight, nearly 40 super models rockin the runway this season? Whatev.

But what happens when I have fresh color, bangs cut professionally (um, meaning not cut in haste as I walk out the door using the old gift wrapping scissors from the craft drawer) and a fresh round brush blow out is nothing less than amazing. I probably look maybe 5% different than when I walked in. But I FEEL 100% better. Suz took this photo on a day I had my hair cut recently. And the iPhone? Oh she wanted to document (for blackmail later I am assuming but I am beating her to it) that I listen to ‘kids; music on my iPhone. Why yes I do thankyouverymuch. Oh and SO DOES SHE. So there. We are even. As even as my bangs.

Visit Marcy at her other home Marcywrites.com

Kids in the Kitchen: Pancake Dumpling anyone?

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 08:38:00 GMT

As we all know. I love summer. And I love my boys being home with me. The other day while at the grocery store, the check out girl said ‘bet you can’t wait for school to start’ and I said ‘nope. I love summer. I like my kids’….naturally she rolled her eyes about as subtly as Snookie gets a tan. We marched out. All three of us with smiles on our faces. On the way home Jack said ‘She thought you were kidding. But you really do like us huh?’And today is a perfect example of why summer with my boys is so cool. Of course life goes on when the kids are home and that means mommy had an important mid morning conference call with Disneyland that could not be avoided. When the boys asked if I would turn on the stove so they could make pancakes I said no. But I gave it some thought…and decided. SURE. It can’t be anymore dangerous than roasting marshmallows at camp right? So I chatted on my call, while my little chefs created behind me. And create they did. They made Banana Pancakes, MnM pancakes and my all time favorite invention EVER a pancake-filled-with-syrup pot sticker.It was inspired. And delicious.See how yummy summer is?
hey! come read tons more by marcy here.

Discovery Science Center Summer Camps

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 15:34:00 GMT

Today is my first day of summer.What? No really. Okay it just FEELS like it.
Because from the very moment the last school bell rang on that last day of school I have been on a marathon race. From daycamp to daycamp. To the airport and back. Entertaining guests. To visiting in-laws out of state and all the other craziness a fully scheduled summer looks like. But today we have nothing. And nothing ahead of us for the month of August.With my boys attending all these day camps in Orange County I have become somewhat of an expert on them (in my head.) And boy was I surprised by Discovery Science Center’s camps the boys went to last week. Jack learned some computer programming and walked away having designed (with code!) and entire video game. And Tucker learned by doing (lots of science-y craft projects). But I made a rookie move when I booked these camps. The boy’s classes started and ended at different times. Which meant I had more than enough time to sit around and be bored out of my mind OR hang out inside the museum and partake in the very cool new TinkerToy exhibit. I giggled as I watched my nearly 12 yr old Jack fall in love with this classic toy all over again. (Oh we stopped by the Grossology section. And it was well, GROSS). So next summer (or this summer. There are some sessions left), when you are looking for an affordable, educational and FUN day camp I would highly recommend checking out Discovery Science Center’s offerings.

Hey lady stop trying to kill my son k?

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 08:22:00 GMT

I am not sure how I forgot to post photos of my son with SCORPIONS all over him. But somehow it slipped my mind. Could be the effects of trauma.

The other day while visiting this place, we came across this old school house that had the most curious cabinet filed with well, curiosities. Quickly a woman dressed as some kind of Indiana Jones counter-part encouraged my kids to open all the drawers and to TOUCH EVERYTHING including the many live THINGS on the shelves. That exploration resulted in Jack holding a REAL giant fish eyeball up to his own. Yeah I nearly puked, but calmly said (after the photo of course) “how about we put that back. I mean we don’t want to damage it”. Then before I could react the Ms. Indiana Jones sister was putting live scorpions ON MY CHILD. Look closely, there is one on his hat climbing on his cheek.

This was followed by cockroaches, worms and many more creepy things.

Naturally, my boys thought this was the best part of their visit.

The real comedy came when I tried to strike up a convo with Ms. Indiana Jones lady, thinking she was just ‘in character’ I asked her if she had any pets at home. Granted not the best question, but I was trying to be SOCIAL with a lady who was trying to make me scream. To my surprise she said ‘oh I have all these things at home too. I am off to Borneo next week to find more specimens.’. SO it turns out she was not IN character.

SHE IS THE CHARACTER.

Now that is authenticity people.

{More by Marcy}

Peanut's 60th Celebration!

Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:25:00 GMT

As a child, I was fairly totally certain the character on Peanut’s cartoons was named FOR ME. Now I know that idea would seem crazy to most kids. But I was far from ‘most kids’. I was weird. So I walked around thinking Charles Schulz somehow created the character Marcie for ME. And I had plenty of reasons. First the resemblance. It’s uncanny. And she was the ‘comedic foil’. I always wanted to be the comedic foil. Or even comedic plastic wrap. I wasn’t picky.

Says Wikipedia: Marcie is a bespectacled fictional character featured in Charles M. Schulz's comic stripPeanuts. She serves as comedic foil and best friend to tomboy Peppermint Patty, plays a supporting role in some of Snoopy's heroic fantasies, and displays a romantic interest in Charlie Brown, who seems to love her back. Marcie made her first named appearance on July 20, 1971

That’s right folks. She made her debut when I was one year old. Coincidence? I think not.So when I heard it was the 60th anniversary of Charles Schulz Peanuts…I knew I wanted to help in the celebration. So I stopped by Knott’s this weekend to take a peek at good ol’ Knott’s Camp Snoopy*. I went hoping to I was looking to find Charlie and yes, of course my beloved Marcie.

Right away I saw a clear bias. Lucy had her own stage…..

and Snoopy had his own ice show.

We took a break and asked these two Knott’s regulars where all the Marcie merchandise was, but they were pretty clueless.This house looked promising. We knocked, but no answer. Where was Charlie? Where was Marcie?

Jack went to jail to see if maybe Marcie was hiding in there…..
We found the very huggable Snoopy and eventually a few small Charlie Brown items. But clearly Snoopy is the rock star in the Peanut’s Merch gang.
Well happy birthday to the whole Peanut’s gang. And especially MARCIE. I have loved you all, all my life. Charles Schulz’s cartoon strip, written for adults about children has a longevity that reaches past generations with universal themes of disappointment, failure and friendship.
And of course the love of a silly dog.Next week I will be interviewing Jill Schulz (Charles youngest daughter) about the Peanut empire and what lies ahead. If you have questions you would like for me to ask- please leave in the comments here.

Things I learned researching this post:
There is a Charles Schulz museum that looks really cool.
This is the official online place to still read the comic strip.
There is only one figurine of the Marcie character. And I must own it now.

*Have you not been to Camp Snoopy? It is a big part of Knott’s Berry Farm (which you know from THIS and THIS) I am a huge fan.

MORE MARCY

Family Field Trip to OCMA

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 10:25:00 GMT

Every know and then I start to wonder “Have done everything in Orange County? What else is left to explore?” And then I get hit over the head with a jewel of a place like OCMA. Oh and it is not like this place just opened or anything. Nope- it has been in existence MY WHOLE LIFE and I have never been. And I am gonna admit this right now…I never even heard of this place. I know- this just makes me an idiot. Especially since I have been driving my kids up to Los Angeles to go to the giant LA County Museum of Art for a culture fix…when OCMA was right in my backyard.Doh.So we went. First we got some ‘Understand Modern Art’ spray from the gift shop. (Yeah we do the gift shop FIRST.Hey life is short.)

Then we participated in making art for Charles Long’s “100 lbs of Clay” exhibit. Which is like a passive art piece. The artist basically brought a whole heck of clay and dropped it off and said ‘you want art? make your own’.And I loved it. So did the boys.

Here are their pieces which were added to the collection.
But don’t worry, this place is FULL of amazing ‘pre-made’ art. Really wonderful works by very established artists.
I am rather fond of the Jack. Both of them.

They have new exhibit called “15 Minutes of Fame” which focuses on portrait photography thru the years. This is an extremely well currated grouping which includes photos taken by Andy Warhol, Ansel Adams and many many others. I particularly loved the pairing of portraits of artists placed next to one of their artworks. Brought a personal touch to both the artwork and the portrait. A juxtaposition I had not seen before.

Naturally my kids loved it all. If you haven’t taken your kids to a modern art museum I highly encourage you to do so. They are never too young and often they relate to the art in totally new ways. These museum visits are always followed by a flurry of creating when we get home. I am currently walking around a new ‘installation’ in my living room made of recycled materials (read cereal boxes from the pantry).

I heart art.And OCMA does too.Oh have I mentioned it is basically a stones throw from Fashion Island? Perfect place to visit before your next shopping/lunch day.OCMA participates in Target Free Second Sundays (2nd Sunday of the Month).
Yeah you heard me.FREE.
What on earth are you waiting for?
Click here for OCMA site.

Marcy will take you all over Orange County with her Family Field trips. Come read more here.

So you are moving. Now What?

Mon, 05 Jul 2010 13:36:00 GMT

You pick up the phone one day and your husband says ‘honey, the company wants me to move to _______.” In most cases the first reaction is ‘hell no and heck no and NO WAY’. You give reasons that seem concrete “But we just got the yard re-done! But Billy likes his school! But I can’t move away from my parents!”…..and you are met with either silence or facts about the new location. After a few weeks- it becomes a reality, and believe it or not and against your protests you are INDEED MOVING. In your heart you know this is best for your husband’s career and ultimately best for your whole family. And when you are SAHM you really can’t use the argument ‘but my work is here’. Nope. YOUR work is wherever your family lives. And that family is MOVING. So accept it. And get busy…you have a lot to do.

Get The House Ready To List

Now this painful but you need to take down all those perfectly framed photos of little Billy. And the wedding photos? Yeah those need to go too. New buyers get subconsciously depressed thinking they will be moving into SOMEONE ELSE’S home. Make your home void of any ‘personal touches’. Make it look like a model home. Bare minimum furniture. Bare minimum accessories. And no personal photos. NONE.

Clean Like Crazy

Not just the kitchen, but also the porch, the yard, heck it is even time to degrease the driveway. Clean = NEW in most buyer’s minds….so the cleaner your home looks (and smells) the more comfortable the new buyer will be with ‘turn key’ move-in.

Start Packing NOW

Get rid of absolutely anything that you can do without. Move it into a POD system or a storage unit. Even the garage is better than having in the house. Yup, that means the giant lazy-boy rocker you knew was too big for the family room but you had to have it…it needs to go. Rooms get bigger with every piece of furniture you move out.

Be Available

None of this ‘call for appointment to see home’…nope- you want to be open for business from 8:00am to 6pm. Allow your realtor to put a lock box on the house. Afraid someone might see the house when there are dishes in the sink? That is okay. It is better than them not seeing the house at all.

Get Organized

You can research and locate everything you will need in your new life online. Dry cleaners, daycares, doctors etc. And don’t forget have all school and medical records sent to your new choices. The more you can do before the move the better off you will be.

Smile And Enjoy It

Moving can be a huge opportunity for you and your family. You are now able to make new friends, see new places and enjoy each other like never before. Enjoy it. Moving can be a huge blessing in so many ways. Is it stressful? You bet. But it gives you an opportunity to show yourself and your husband how you can bend and not break. Just think how impressed your family will be when you take it all in stride. You can do this. Yes you can.

Photos courtesy of www.movingmage.com

Marcy Massura writes weekly for OCF. She has moved (cross country) four times in 10 years. She also has done several years of home staging for realtors. So moving is in her bones. You can find her daily at The Glamorous Life Association. She encourages you to come visit no matter where you live!

My kids left me.

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 17:39:00 GMT

A while ago I mentioned I was more than a little excited about my kids going to camp for a week. I dreamed, plotted and planned all kinds of things I could do during that week SANS KIDS. Turns out I totally underestimated the depression I was going to slip into as soon as my babies hopped on a boat in the Long Beach harbor to make the journey to their best fantasy camp on Catalina Island. Today is day one. But here is a recap of the drop off.We took a mom & sons photo that makes me look pregnant. (um I am not thankyouverymuch)
Consulted Zoltar for our futures. And checked our ‘stick up’ hair in the mirror of a store by the dock.

Then we watched the boat arrive. And got teary as we said good bye….

But they boarded bravely with a wave back.
…and then they sailed away.

Oh my god I love those kids. And I am thrilled I can give them experiences like these. But man o man this is hard.Oh and in case you are wondering what I finally decided to do this week of freedom?Cleaning. And painting. And little home improvement things.
Because I live the glamorous life.

Are you an 'Amish Mom'?

Sun, 20 Jun 2010 19:43:00 GMT

I have a good friend, I have lovingly nicknamed "Amish Mom". Let me explain the origins of her silly nickname......Amish Mom has chosen to have one TV in her house. And this single TV in her home (we have three ) does not have a Wii, Playstation or an XBox connected to it. Her kids are not killing aliens on the one computer (we have three of those too) in her home, nor staring into cell phones, iTouches, IPods, Gameboys or PSPs at the dinner table. Because they don't own any of those items.

You see, Amish Mom has made an unconventional choice to keep her children as electronically distraction free as possible. Don't get the wrong idea, Amish Mom is not the churn-your-own-butter-homeschool-in-the-base ment-mommy-will-make-you-a-prom-dress lady you might be picturing, although her kids did give my kids a weaving LOOM as a Christmas present once, but I digress.... The reality is that she is a sophisticated cultured business woman who has every reason to jump on anything that would make her life as a working mother of three easier. And let's face it- these electronic toys make parenting EASIER in many ways. Not only are they perfect time wasters in restaurants and car rides, but they act as strong collateral for reinforcing discipline decisions. The phrase "Put down that Gameboy until your homework is done" can be heard in millions of homes across America.

Now Amish Mom and I are very close friends. We share similar tastes in design, parenting styles and even ethics and yet we differ on this one parenting decision. To sum it up, I am pro EVERYTHING with

a battery and she is anti EVERYTHING with a battery. So one night during a recent visit (we live in different cities) after the kids were put to bed (and after two or ten glasses of mommy-juice, er...wine) I started telling her the usual stuff, the regurgitated media fluff that I barely believed as it was coming out of my mouth "But they are great for hand-eye coordination" and the popular "They will feel different from their peers" and the crowd favorite "It will help them in their career". She just looked at me and laughed. And I had no choice but to laugh back. Because her kids were FAR from deprived. They lived an exciting, action packed lifestyle including summering in Italy, playing many sports and taking music lessons. Then there are the camp outs, hiking trips and all the rest. They are all well adjusted popular children who, even though they are not my offspring, I can say they are also intellectually advanced. No question about it, they are living wonderful happy childhoods. Full of fun and yes, even the occasional loom to entertain themselves.

So then why is this issue, this one silly difference in our parenting choices so important to me? Why do I tease her constantly and yes, even get tipsy and try to convince her to change? I mean who am I? Some kind of Tech Nazi? Clearly my need to make her conform to my parenting choice is my issue, and not hers. And has nothing to do with skills developed by Mario Bros or the 'health' (ahem) benefits of Dance Dance Revolution. No my friends, this was something to do with me. And me alone.

So I have been giving it some thought and I think I have concluded we all get a small sense of validation when we see others make the same decisions we make. When we hear that the fellow moms are allowing their children to take a selt-belt-less school bus on a field trip, we suddenly feel like 'See? I am not crazy'. When I stopped breast feeding my first child because it was no longer working for us, I took huge solace in a neighbor mom who explained she had to make the same tough decision years earlier. Let's face it, we are all pretty much flying blind here. This whole parenting thing is one big experiment at best. We fall back on our own childhoods as guidelines for parenting decisions. Which is fine, except that we are living in different times, and facing wildly different parenting choices. I know for a fact my mother never had to struggle with allowing her pre-teen to get a Facebook account. A decision I actually had to make this week. And a decision I did not make alone. I discussed it with all the other moms in my world, and made what I felt was the right decision for my child. And if you haven't guessed, Amish Mom is really not going to approve.

But guess what? I am okay with that. Which I am taking to mean I am making progress. Pretty soon I won't care at all what others think of my parenting decisions. Or will I?

More musings by Marcy can be found by visiting The Glamorous Life Association, where comedy and humor drive nearly all of her parenting decisions. Copy at your own risk.

Secret messages of profile pics.

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 17:56:00 GMT

Along with this new world of social media, comes new unspoken rules and understandings. One of the most significant aspects of all social sites (Twitter, Facebook, Linked in etc) is the Profile Picture. Not to make you stress over it more than you already do, but CHOOSE carefully. That pic tells the internet a lot about you….

Your Pet: You have no children. Or they have moved out. Leavin
g you with only the affection of your beloved lhasa apso to keep you company. Facebook is your last effort to connect with the outside world.

Your Baby: You have not lost your baby weight. So rather than post your chubby photo, you use the baby instead. Oh, and you actually, honestly and truly believe you have the cutest baby on the planet. (it’s the hormones. it’ll wear off as soon…)

Your Kids: You have spent the last 1-10 years taking 9 million photos of your kids, and have not one single decent photo of yourself. Your husband only took photos of you when you were breast feeding…boobs motivate him.

You as a child: Since all you do on Facebook is talk to people from your school days, you felt like this would make it easier for people to remember you. Plus you sorta live in the past. Which is sad.

You with spouse: Even though you are on Facebook of your own free will, your significant other wasn’t too thrilled about it, and said things like ‘Facebook is just a fancy dating service’ and is convinced you are planning a secret rendezvous with your high school sweetheart. So you were HIGHLY encouraged to use a photo of the two of you to make it clear YOU ARE HAPPILY MARRIED.

You with spouse on your wedding day: Still driving the I AM MARRIED message home. And chances are you were married within the last 2 years and still think it is ‘so awesome’. Give it time. Plus you think you looked pretty damn hot on your wedding day. You want to share that hotness with the world. Thanks for that.

You/photo taken by you into a bathroom mirror: you are too embarrassed to ask anyone in your life to take a photo of you for you to use on Facebook. Instead you try to take your own photo, and end up looking like half human half white light from the flash reflection. Still, it is better than using your pet. So there is that.

You drinking cocktail: You are trying to send the message “I am full of fun and good times. Let’s party!”, but what it really says is that you are trying to hard to look carefree and could possibly have a drinking problem. I mean past the age of 21 who brags about the ability to drink? This photo above all the others says “Jealous Much?”. I equate it with the status update that mentions golfing/spa visit/ or an unexpected expensive gift from your husband. We get it. Your life is BETTER THAN OURS. Thanks for sharing.

A celebrity that sorta looks like you, but not really: Just done to confuse people. Knock it off. Plus you are just waiting for someone to say “Oh my god I never noticed how much you look like Katie Perry! I thought that was you!”

A Simpson Cartoon (or other): Grow up much? Chances are you have a Simpsons/Superhero/Tron poster in your garage too.

YOU: You are none of the things above (or all of them) but you have mean vocabulary skillz and know the meaning of ‘profile pic’. You don’t over think things and are a rule follower. And you are okay looking at a teeny tiny pic of yourself over and over again. Just a little note: it is super cheating if you post a photo of you wearing sunglasses. EVERYONE looks good in sunglasses. Same goes for hats. Hatless photos only for men. After all- how are supposed to tell if you are bald or not?

(Not written with ill intent.
I love you all and your crazy profile pics. Honest.)

Need more comedy? Visit Marcy here.

How to use :) correctly online!

Sun, 13 Jun 2010 19:35:00 GMT

Want to insult someone, convey an inappropriate romantic thought or even issue a threat all under the guise of sarcasm?

Or maybe you want to the the typed equivalent of “Just Kidding!”?

Well, my friends it is none other than this :)

The typed happy face. And it is a passive-aggressive girls dream.

Come see what I mean.

Marcy can be found here doing awesome things at the world's best comedy blog ever. :)

Blogging classes for you!

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 08:14:00 GMT

So the other day I was a teacher.

I held the first of hopefully many sessions called ‘Marcy’s Blog Academy’. Which is a very ambitious name, considering it was in my family room and not so much academy, more like just comfy. But I digress…I ‘taught’ on the subject of working with advertisers, finding brands, helping brands find you and creating a media kit and more. Oh and there was wine. And cookies. So you know, I was pretty much in heaven. And much to my relief those who attended said they actually learned stuff. Which is the point right?

This first session was by invite only, but I am putting together another one (late July) and would love to have you come.

Considering topics:

Blog to Book: self publishing how-to and how-not-to.

Self Promotion: Help ‘them’ discover you.

The ABCs and 123s of using photos and videos on your blog.

Creating a blog for a business: not as easy as it looks.

Blogging is not a dirty word: understanding your value.

Blogging Babies: Raising a blog from infancy and beyond (a how to start a blog class)

Let me know if you are interested in attending, and if so which of the above topics interest you. If you know of anyone in the Southern California area that might be interested please help spread the word.

But I totally need a motto for the academy.

I am thinking “Where learning is optional, but wine is required”.

_______________________________________________

Check out the main page for The Glamorous Life Association, where everything ends in wine eventually.

Making memories and GoKarts

Mon, 31 May 2010 19:14:00 GMT

I went out to run an errand on Saturday and I returned this scene. Every tool I own scattered about, with the Dangerous Book for Boys right there in the middle of it all. It turns out, the boys used their dad’s generosity and my absence in their favor- and convinced him it was time to build the gokart.(we have been planning to build one for um, years now.) So off they went with the book in hand to the local hardware store, where the man patiently helped them find all the parts needed. By the time I arrived on the scene they were knee deep in axels and washers and figuring out a steering system. They worked all day. In between watching hockey and playing…but lo and behold it was complete.

Except for one thing. The seat.

So I walked up stairs and took the little toddler chair I had kept all these years and offered it to the boys. I was shocked that this upset my Tucker. His eyes filled up with tears and he said ‘but that was when we were little mom’. I explained to him, the chair wanted to grow up with them, and would be happy to be used for their go kart. Finally he agreed and off we went to modify it a bit and add it to the newly christened “ikart”. One run down our street in their creation and he seemed perfectly okay with the chair seat. And so am I. These are the days childhood is made of…

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Going for the gold, but happy with the silver

Mon, 24 May 2010 05:48:00 GMT

A few days ago I was notified Jack was going to get an award for his stellar math skills. Which I can tell you come 100% from TheHusband. Cuz I have little to no math skills. So I was invited to his classroom for the little presentation. I took the opportunity to take ‘spy’ photos of Jack walking into class, and sitting in his seat. You know, photos of him in his element. Because once he started middle school I feel so out of the loop. So it is fascinating to see how he behaves and carries himself at school.

And then he got his award, given by his all time favorite teacher EVER. Seriously, this guy left a big marketing and engineering career to TEACH. And he loves it. And it shows.Hey Jack let me get a photo of you with your silver medal!

Um, Let’s try that again.
Much better kid.(btw the HAIR? Yeah, that is on purpose.)

Never give up on a kid. Even your own.

Tue, 18 May 2010 07:30:00 GMT

This week my boys go into their Little League AAA play-offs. They are going in as the first place team. Which is kinda astonishing to me.
You see, Jack took 3 years off from sports. He played baseball one year and to say he ‘wasn’t all that good’ would be an understatement. It was the longest season of my life. I never prayed so much. “Please Lord. Just let him hit the ball ONCE. PLEASE.” So when he didn’t want to play the next year we FULLY supported that decision and directed his energies into surfing, guitar lessons and martial arts. But three years passed. Three years of Jack watching his younger brother play every sport known to mankind. And kinda kicking butt doing it, ending up on one championship team after another. And then this year Jack asked if he could play baseball again.I am gonna be honest. I tried to direct his energies into soccer. Or tennis. Or basically anything other than baseball. I did everything short of telling him “um, you kinda sucked at baseball”. Eventually I had to give in and reluctantly signed him up for the season. Happily both boys made the same team (yeah cuz Tucker is playing with way older boys. Cuz like I said he is a sport phenom or something) and the season started. Jack told me all he was shooting for ‘was average’ and ‘not to look like an idiot out there’. I told him to have fun and just do his best. I mean what else was supposed to say?

Well, almost right away. I was shocked.
Jack was actually not all that bad. In fact, within in weeks he was AWESOME.He is now the teams solid #5 hitter and more importantly he is having the time of his life.So lesson learned.
Never give up on a kid. Like ever.Cuz sometimes, they can surprise you.Jack’s sorta ‘blue steel’ look from the dug out.He now proudly calls himself a “Gock” (a geek and a jock).This photo sorta sums that up.

Apparently we are all too pretty to be models

Mon, 17 May 2010 09:01:00 GMT

Okay so here is a graphic of the Fall 2010 models selected by the people at Louis Vuitton to represent them on the runway and in print campaigns.

Apparently LV is going for a concentration-camp-anorexic-large-alien-head-suicidal-depressed look this year.

Except for what’s her face in the last photo. She is just insane apparently. The nerve to SMILE for a photo.

But seriously folks, have you ever seen weirder looking women?

I am certain none of them are smiling because they are all so damn hungry.

Poor little things. Someone should save them.

Marcy's book is now available. I know. Cool huh?

(click the image for a preview)

Have you heard of this thing called exercise?

Sat, 08 May 2010 12:41:00 GMT

You will never guess what I did today. Like never.

I worked out.

Are you cracking up yet? Yeah well, in keeping with my motto for 2010 “you keep doing what you are doing you will keep getting what you are getting” I have decided the just-never-eat-ever-ever-again diet isn’t working out so well for me, and it was time to try this crazy thing I hear everyone talking about. Actually you may have heard of it. It is called EXERCISE.

Now I have played tennis followed by a Cape Cod lunch at the club, and yes I do my treadmill frequently while watching Ruby Episodes for motivation but I am talking REAL EXERCISE. Like the kind that makes you want to kill your trainer and even break a sweat. I had heard about this…but I thought it was a mythical thing like dragons and unicorns. Turns out it is real, and people are working out with trainers all over the world.I had to fill out a form with the usual- age, injuries etc. And for the “Who to contact in an emergency” I put 911, and for the cute little section that said “Personal Goals” I just wrote “COUGAR.”

Then the GlamTrainer asked when was the last time I worked out..“Um, yeah I haven’t worked out in….well EVER. Well there was that one time in the 90’s but I think I was drunk. All I remember is something about ‘this will sweat the hangover out of you’…the rest is a blur. But I know it ended with a huge stack of pancakes from Dupars. So there was that.” He blinked. Then giggled. “Um, I am not kidding Mr. fit as a fiddle. I have never worked out before. Ever.”

So GlamTrainer worked me pretty hard and endured my ‘you are trying to kill me aren’t you?’ and ‘if I die here my husband is gonna thank kill you.’ pretty darn well. And kept telling me what a great job I was doing. In other words he is a great liar. And I love him for that.

Come read more about stupid things Marcy does in her desperate attempt to regain her youth at The Glamorous Life Association.

Charity drinking. It's for the children. Don't Judge

Mon, 03 May 2010 07:16:00 GMT

Friday night we attended our Little League Casino night FUNraiser fundraiser. And as luck would have it, when we walked in we were given the option to purchase all-you-can-drink LUSH wristbands. But hey this was CHARITY. It was the least I could do for CHARITY. Don’t judge.
I drink for the children.
Because I care.
So it was the usual event with buffet food, local band, silent auction and gambling with some kind of monopoly money gambling system I had yet to figure out. At one point TheHusband tells me he is down $400 and I give him a stare of ‘but that could have gone to my much needed botox fund our groceries!’. But then he says ‘which is like $50 for real’. Huh? What? I am confused. Where’s the bar?Going to parties is hard for me. I worry about how I look, who will talk to me, what things I will say that I am sure to regret and all the rest. But I always go. I make myself go. It’s my own version of immersion therapy I guess. Except I have been doing this for nearly 40 years and I am far from ‘cured’ so maybe I need to re-think this process. But anyway, there I was last night suffering through social anxiety with all my Little League peeps. All the people who have seen me cover my eyes to watch my kids play, then sit by calmly as I yell at the umps for stupid calls. Then also sit by while I apologize to the umps for being annoying. And I found it interesting to see these same people not wearing their team tee shirts and baseball hats cheering on their little sluggers. Cuz we OC peeps clean up real nice. But it was especially entertaining to see some of those people after their liberal use of the bar. Turns out some of them can dance. And others? Not so much.Now TheHusband and I love a good silent auction. But we have learned that the combination of an auction and a lush wrist band can be financially dangerous. But we carried on. FOR THE CHILDREN. We visited the silent auction room with rows and rows of male oriented camping/sports/season tickets tempting stuff. When one thing caught my eye.
Introducing Big Buddy.

Yup. A propane heater to keep my precious little Southern California self toasty while watching all the night games.And so we did an instant buy-now bid won it.And then I came home and checked our game schedule, which ironically includes only one more night game for the season.So now I have to find a nice little spot for Big Buddy in the garage until next season I guess.Unless you think I can take it into the Ice Rink for Hockey season in the Fall.Have I mentioned that yet? Tucker is now a hockey freak player too.
Which I will admit is kinda adorable.But very very cold.Oh Big Buddy. You and me are gonna get a long just fine.

How to use your digital camera in unexpected ways!

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 08:15:00 GMT

I am so lucky. Through the use of digital photography I have been able to preserve so much of my children’s childhood it is crazy. We can click back easily (through the use of programs like Picasa) and relive our lives when my boys were young, and life moved so fast (still does) that is so easy to miss it all. And although my hard drive is full of nearly 60,000 photos- not all of them are of the ‘say cheese’ variety. I have tried to use my camera to capture ALL of their childhood. I wanted to share some of my ideas with you…..

1. Art work: It is easier than scanning, and helps to preserve that Open House work of Art on the wall of the classroom, since by the time you see it again it will be destroyed from a trip home in a backpack.

2. Edible, temporary or bulky crafts: These things actually can not be saved. So a photo is a great option.

3. Toys: Eagerly we will cleanout a toy box to make room for new stuff. But having a photo of some of the favorites makes reminiscing so much more rewarding later for both you and the kids.

4. Lovies: Charlie the Bear and Blue Blankie were/are so important to my children- it is like they are members of the family. Is it possible that some day they will no longer be with us? Possible, but with photos we will never forget them.5. The Details: Those little feet look so soft and edible? Take a photo now. Before long they will be stinky pre-teen feet. Trust me. This I know.
6. Their Friends: Take photos of those playdates, sleepovers and field trips. And the bonus is, if your kid is a playa since like BIRTH, you will get lots of photos of him with adorable little girls.

7. Their Rooms: Having moved 4 times in 12 years, I am always happy to have photos of the kids rooms as well as all the rooms & exterior of houses we have owned from Chicago to San Francisco to Orange County.
8. Favorite hang outs: Take a photo of Target? Yes! Or maybe a favorite yogurt store or local playground.

9. The Mad Face: Not every photo has to a ‘pretty’ one. This face Tucker used to make pretty much would melt me. I never wanted to forget it. And Jack? He makes this SAME face many years later. And don’t forget to grab your camera when unfortunate things are happening.

This is a photo of Tucker when he was in the hospital for this. It is the only photo I took, and I wish I had more.

10: Documents: Report Cards, eye glass prescriptions and awards can all be stored nicely in your computer for easy locating later. And before you say anything, yes, I am blind.But remember the most important thing….online back up. I use Mozy (hence my cat’s name) , which is about $5 a month. But there are many other services out there. It guarantees if your computer explodes or your house burns up all your photo memories and photo records will be with you forever. It is piece of mind that is worth the cost.If you have any suggestions to add to this post, I would love to hear them.Please leave them in the comments so everyone can benefit!

Reliving my youth is not my kids favorite thing...

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:58:00 GMT

We went to the new/old Bobs Big Boy the other day.

And I spent the entire time trying to explain to the boys how it was a big deal because there used to be Bobs Big Boys all over the place, and then they mostly all went away and now they came back. I tried to explain about the spaghetti with chili on top (which wasn’t actually on the menu in the ‘olden days’ but is now. Which spoiled it for me), and how they make their shakes from scratch and how it was THE place to go after a high school football game, or after school got out or after church. Basically it was the place to go AFTER you did something else I guess. I tried to explain it all. We had our meal, which sadly included a salad for me lest I become a Big Gal, and burgers with shakes for the boys.

And then while walking to the car I heard this….

Tucker: Why is mom so excited about this place?

Jack: Cuz it reminds her of when she was young and she didn’t have to eat salads all the time I guess.

Tucker: It’ s pretty much a Denny’s right?

Jack: Pretty much. Except for the fat guy out front.

I am so sorry Big Boy.

They don’t understand the love we have.

And I think you look and taste as good as the day we met.

Come visit Marcy at her other home on the internet by clicking HERE. Just step over the legos and laundry on the way in.....

Family Field Trip: San Diego

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 08:47:00 GMT

I like little vacations. Vacations that do not require me to fly or waste any time travelling. And since I live about an hour and half away from San Diego…well, I tend to find myself taking the boys there once or twice a year. (Actually I went to college there for a year too. At the world famous party school SDSU. So after I sobered up from that year long party-I transferred home to CSUF to finish my degree. But it left me with great memories. Well, what I can remember anyway. But everyone tells me I had a great time.)

This spring break visit was another successful trip to San Diego. And this time I did three things I had not done before with the boys (tall ships, dinner at The Dell, and Belmont Park) Because there is that much to do in San Diego. You can go over and over again and still have stuff to do…I want to throw in that not all hotels are equal and after many visits I am proud to say I can recommend the Hyatt Regency Mission Bay as my all time favorite.Those pools with the slides kept the kids busy for HOURS. And the Mai Tais from the poolside servers kept mommy busy too. But the killer rooms, great staff and even the onsite bike/jet ski and boat rental just makes this place the best choice in the area.

Here is a little video of all the fun. It is short with a catchy tune. Hope you watch and enjoy….

And yes, I did put a Glam Life sticker on that bench.

And the roller coaster? As scary as the video shows.

And I rode it twice. Just to see the look of amazement on my kids faces when I said I was going on it AGAIN.

Shine on people.

For plenty more for Family Field Trip ideas, come visit Marcy at The Glamorous Life Association

My kids are average. Jealous much?

Sun, 11 Apr 2010 08:18:00 GMT

The other day, I took my boys for a physical. It is a requirement of a camp they will be attending this summer. And it was at this appointment Dr. Best-kid-doctor-I-ever-meet told me both boys are average for height and average for weight. Like very average. Actually they are both the exact height/weight for average on the medical chart.AVERAGE.

The boys took the news differently.Tucker was none to happy. Tucker likes to EXCEED. Tucker likes to WIN. And as far as he was concerned this meant he wasn’t WINNING. He actually said “so that is like a tie right mom?”.But Jack is different. He is realistic, logical and well, damn funny. He looked at the doctor and said “I’ll take that…. I am just shooting for average anyway.” A statement that comes from a boy who worries about his height constantly. Oh and Jack had to get a boat load of shots too. Cuz he is NEVER sick {thank God. Hail Mary. Sign of the cross. Knock on wood} …he kinda hadn’t been to the doctor in way over a year a long while.

He wasn’t too thrilled about the shots.Can you tell?(and yes, surprisingly I have permission from the patient to post this photo)

Want more?
Visit The Glamorous Life Association page for humor served fresh daily.

Ugh. Taking my kid to the dentist.

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 16:54:00 GMT

Every mom knows the dread of taking your kid to the dentist. The fear of the dreaded C-word (cavity) being mentioned then followed by the look of disapproval from some blondie hygienist with purple kitty scrubs on. And then you start to say things like ‘really? but I have him brush 10 times a day! After every meal! Every bite. And he uses a whole thing of floss EVERY NIGHT! Really? He has a cavity?’ It is the mom’s version of protesting the immaculate conception. Like an immaculate cavity. You want to scream “ITS NOT POSSIBLE. I am good mom!” As if we feel like our jobs are in jeopardy now. We have allowed a major flaw to infiltrate our objective of raising healthy, happy children. But mine WERE happy. Happy when I let them have a third coke at the baseball game, and happy when you asked ‘did you brush’ but were too tired to do the ‘wet toothbrush’ test at bedtime. Yes, the dentist is a scary scary place for all of us.

Today I took my Tucker to the dentist, and something equally embarrassing but completely different happened. After the doctor was done, he brought Tucker to the filled to capacity waiting room to ‘chat’ with me. Smiling he said “Tucker looks great. (and now the magic words) No cavities!”….I was so relieved. I was sure I would get that bonus at work now. But it was short lived. He went on to say “However, Tucker has a burn on his tongue. Pretty severe.” By now I can feel the other judgy-judge parents in the room listening even harder, and pretending less to not be. “he tells me it is from super SOUR SKITTLES”.

What the heck?

First of all, I am standing there totally outted in front of the organic-healthy-no-red-dye-#5 crowd that I even let my kid eat Skittles, but also that he has eaten so many HE HAS A BURN on his tongue. On the way home Tucker explained it was from a little competition he and his friends had….put the Super Sour Skittle on your tongue and see who can last the longest without moving it or spitting it out. Awesome. My 9 year old is already inventing his own version of MTV’s JackAss for the third grade. Can you even imagine what I have in store for me when he is a teenager? I better start saving for bail money now.

Because I have seen the future people.

And it is sour rainbow flavored.

If only donuts grew on trees....

Sun, 28 Mar 2010 15:37:00 GMT

So once upon a time Jack (my 11 yer old) made killer duct tape wallets and was selling them at school. Because apparently his school is FULL of fellow 11 year olds raised by Donald Trump worshipers entrepreneurs. There is the kid that sells the Axe body spray at school dances and another who sells hand warmers when the poor sad {insert eye roll and sarcastic tone here} Southern California children have to wait in 55 degree mornings for school to start.But as it turns out selling things at Jack’s school? Against the rules. And he had his inventory confiscated by the man who wants to kill my kids future of being the next great business tycoon school yard supervisor. He has since moved on to making photoshopped school id cards. Mr. Monkey Butt with a photo of a Monkey? Ms. Princess Purple with a photo of the Queen?….and I may or may not have helped him in this idea. Because hello? Learning forgery Photoshop is EDUCATIONAL people. My house is practically a trade school for 6th graders y’all. I gave him strict instructions to not sell them ON the school campus…but being NEAR the campus was okay with me. And let me tell you those things sold like hotcakes…turns out everyone wants a custom silly id card. But that is the problem….everyone HAS one. And they only want ONE. So we had to come up with a new product…something cheap, fast and funny……Want one?And I figure if he gets caught with the evidence inventory.He can just say it is his lunch.:)---

One week with out my kids?

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 10:26:00 GMT

One week.

My kids are leaving me for one whole week.

This summer, both of my boys are going to summer camp on Catalina Island for ONE WEEK.

Both of them.

Gone.

As in…not here.

G.O.N.E.

Sure at first I worried how would I survive a week without the laundry, the sport practices, the tripping on roller blades, the $500 trips to the grocery store my precious babies. So I asked the camp lady crazy-helicopter-mom questions like ‘Can I visit the camp during the week?’ and ‘Can the boys use their cell phone to call me at bedtime?’….all questions I am sure she has heard before. The answers came quick and swift; NO and NO. But were followed with “your boys will be so busy spear fishing, sailing and flirting with girls they won’t have time to miss you”.

Um, yeah well that is great camp lady….great. THEY will be SO BUSY they won’t miss ME.

But what about ME camp lady?

What about ME missing THEM?

And then she nonchalantly said it…

“Sounds like a great time for you to take a vacation maybe!”

WHAT?!!!!?

Then from that moment on, I have taken about 50 vacations in my mind. I have fantasized every possible scenario for the week-without-children.

In my mind I went to Atlanta to hang out with Soliloquy. I went up to San Fran to sleep in my friend Susan’s cashmere comforter guest house for 24 hours straight and then on to Foolery’s to herd cattle in heels. I went with TheHusband to Hawaii for our now 12 year delayed honeymoon. I went on a photographing odyssey with my mom to Mexico. Vegas. Oh Vegas. Heck, one day I went to Machu Picchu in Peru.

In my mind, I have used the week-without-children a hundred times over.

Then the fantasies got practical:

I painted all the trim and doors in the house. I re-did the kids rooms. Cleaned out all the closets. Re-did the garage. I painted the tiki-hut in the backyard. Installed the new bathroom lights. Installed new dining room lights. Installed ALL NEW LIGHTS. I worked out every day and become a hottie-mom by the time the kids returned. I finished writing my book.

After living out all these options in my mind, I am exhausted. But I did finally settle on what I was going to do with my week….

NOTHING.

I plan on doing nothing.

Just staying home and drinking heavily missing my babies.

well, maybe….I still have 4 months to think it over….

Are your kids on house arrest?

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 12:57:00 GMT

When I was a kid, and that was a long time ago, whatever I did for the summer was UP to ME. I would wake up and I had to decide what I was going to do to entertain myself. Oh, my mom would help by saying ‘why don’t you walk over to so-and-so’s house and see if she can play’….. (By the way ‘so-and-so’ could never play. She always had to clean her room or practice the piano). I would spend a fair amount of time outside of the house- just walking around and doing ‘whatever’. 'Whatever' consisted of talking to the old couple at the end of the street who gave me cookies while I watched them trim their rose garden, swimming in a neighbors pool, painting flames on live snails shells and putting them back in a neighbors garden for a giggle, helping Bob with his small airplane he was building in his garage, throwing rocks, playing kickball with the boys, and a lot of following my older brother around. I did this until I heard my dad’s familiar (and sonically loud) whistle when it was time for dinner.

But my kids are on house arrest. There is no way I could allow them to go wonder around the neighborhood, in and out of friends houses until the street lights come on. In ‘this day and age’ things are too scary-we all know the reasons ad nauseam. If they want to ride a bike or skateboard I go out front with them and watch. And this infuriates me. They do not get to explore, r meander. They are being watched all the time. If they made kiddie ankle GPS monitors I would probably get those too. And since I can only watch them play for so long during the day (eventually the laundry must get done) I have had to book my kids time for the whole summer. Sleep away camp, science camps, baseball training camps and more….which in a way is pretty darn sad. Surely they are PRIVILEGED to get to do these things, and there will be lots of in-house crafts, games on the computer, making movies to put on YouTube, building erector sets, programming the Lego Mindstorm to shoot at intruders…but still- it feels so controlled and I am more than a little sad I can't let my boys experience the freedom and joy of just...LOITERING....and just seeing where the day takes you. I want them to experience those 'Little Rascal' type of adventures. Roaming around town with friends, never once worrying about getting to piano lessons or baseball practice.

After all, it really is a real art form to learn to do NOTHING well.

But I guess there is always college for that.

To read more by Marcy, please visit The Glamorous Life Association site.

Tales from a Snack Shack 'volunteer'.

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:02:00 GMT

Well, last night was MY night to do the dreaded 'snack shack' duty for our local Little League. In case you don't have kiddies in Little League or Pop Warner- you may not have heard of this labor gimmick. Turns out when you pay your zillion dollar sign up fee, uniform fee, party fee, trophy fee and supplemental fee (huh?)....you are also signing up for 4 hours of free labor. Yes, every parent is required to work in the Snack Shack at our sports park for one shift (football you do 2 or 3 a season) for completely free. So off I went last night in my comfortable shoes to help serve hot dogs, nachos, slushies, churros and a complete array of candies that would make any dentist cringe. Actually while working last night I realized there was not ONE single thing that would be considered 'good for you'. And it made matters worse since I had no time to eat dinner before going and I was hungry. Right away I knew this was going to be a land of temptation when I was shown the candy bar storage in the industrial refrigerator. Willy Wonka would be proud. I was also greeted by the previous shift upon arrival- and given an insanely quick, quick primer 'cook the pretzels for 5 minutes, churros for 6, the cheese goes here, use this lemonade, coffee comes in two sizes, ice cream is in the freezer etc......it was a lot to learn in 2 minutes. But I figured- hey how hard could it be?

There is no cash register- just a cash 'drawer'. And by the grace of god no tax to calculate. Everything was in easy to add increments: $1.00, $1.50, $2.00, but still this was the most math without a calculator I had done all year. Early on I decided if I couldn't find the price for something on a the tiny tiny typed price list they gave us- then it was $1.00. I figure if management didn't like it-they could take it out of my pay. Myself and the other 'volunteers' muddled thru and helped the little ones count their change, and served lots and lots of junk food. It is really amazing how many slushies you can make in one shift. Those darn kids are thirsty. The best part of the night was getting to know my 'co-workers'. We are on the same ball team- but rarely have time to talk between the 'who is on first?' game day stress. So it was nice to get to chat to them in between the ice cream sandwiches and licorice orders. They told me about their fabulous jobs, frustrating kids and interesting life stories . It was like our own little version of the Breakfast Club. Except no tricks with lipgloss were performed....or did they? I can't remember, I am in a slushie haze.

Things I learned?
Sometimes it is fun to get to know people you already know.
And sometimes nachos are a perfectly acceptable dinner.

The Renaming of Orange County.

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:28:00 GMT

Not exactly a newsflash but, I love Orange County.

I think you all know that. Maybe cuz I talk about HOW MUCH I LOVE ORANGE COUNTY every chance I get. So this humored me. I was surprised actually, to see that if the country was divided up into fairly equal chunks of population*…The OC would not only BE ITS OWN chunk, but it would be one of the smallest. That means that we have a hella lotta people living here.So why would anyone do this? Well, because they are looking for electoral college reform I guess.And maybe it is just kinda fun to mess with the United States. Like I am loving the chunk called “Brownia” and the bizarre “Llano Estacado”. Come to think of it maybe the “Orange” chunk should have been renamed “Botoxia” or “SUVille”….not judging. Just sayin. Actually “GlamorousLife” would have worked nicely as well. But one of my girlfriends suggested name is the best out of all of them..

"Cougar de Caza"
Perfection.

* Each state (sic. ‘chunk’) shown has a population between 5.4 and 5.635 million, according to Census 2000 figures. Most are 5.616 million. The District of Columbia is preserved as it is.

How to get into heaven by drinking lemonade.

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 10:29:00 GMT

Just a little piece of my weekend...

While this photo could equally be a survey photo for The Power Line Installers of America, it is actually a photo of my kids. Walking purposely under a lovely late Southern California February sky, my boys took their Lemonade-Stand-in-a-Wagon business around town. And I spied on them from a safe distance. This was after they picked the lemons from our trees and made two giant pitchers of the sweet stuff by hand. And apparently our backyard ‘tiki hut’ barbeque is now company headquarters. I had to giggle when they said “I had no idea lemonade was so hard to make. Maybe that is why it tastes so good”.

I have decided that it tells a lot about a person’s character if they go out of their way to stop to buy lemonade from kids.

Like I think it says ‘You are a saint and are going to heaven’.

I wanted to go hug everyone who pulled over their car or came walking up for a cup of sweet goodness.

So thank you.

You are good people.

Yes, that is a Flight of the Concords shirt on Jack. He said it was going to be good for business.

And maybe it was. They made $12.00 on this day (at 50cents a cup)….and had tons of fun. As always, they donate half their 'business' profits to the Orange County Make-a-Wish chapter. So I would call it a success.

But of course now I need to go to the store for sugar and plastic cups....

For *some* reason-I am fresh out.

My body image needs serious help...

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:13:00 GMT

I think I have a problem.

I woke up today at 3am and couldn’t sleep. Why you ask? Well, I FELT FAT.

Let’s review. Listen to what I am saying;

I felt too fat IN MY SLEEP.

I have struggled with weight my entire life. With brief periods of drug induced (I still love you Phen-Fen even though they took you away from me) skinny-ness. But now I am back to being heavy. Not super heavy. But I am definitely no longer the skinny one. Now I am ‘the one with the nice face and good personality’. I was sent a Wii fit by a PR company recently and when I hooked it up it informed me I was most definitely OVERweight and then proceeded to enlarge my avatar until it resembled the Stay Puff marshmellow man. Wii was that really necessary?

Was seeing my BMI on my 60” plasma TV not punishment enough?

I was not a fat child. But I was round. Round face with chubby cheeks and a general look of ‘kid-ness’ to me. Think Punky Brewster (only with totally coordinated outfits). But when I began those damn dance lessons, starring into a mirror day after day hour after hour, I had plenty of opportunity to compare every inch of my body to the other girls. Megan’s hip bones stuck out. Caroline’s thighs didn’t touch. Michele had breasts already. Did I tell you I was NINE. Yes, by nine years old I had developed complete hate for my own god-given shape.

I began ‘watching’ what I ate at the age of nine. And have done so every day, every meal since. Aside for my pregnacies (when I allowed my self a free pass and gained 80lbs with EACH kid) I can not remember the last time I ate a meal without regret. Every bite comes with the accompanying food-guilt. Worse still is the Meal Hangover the next day. Praying so bad I could take it back. All of it.

I have a long running joke that I wish I had a non-life threatening disease that leaves me so thin the doctors have to BEG me to eat my way back to a normal weight. I would have round the clock deliveries of Fetticini Alfredo and be back to fighting weight in a matter of weeks. Oh, I have lots of jokes about my weight.

Just realizing how demented all that is...

But this is not some delayed New Year’s resolution proclamation. I am not telling the world to hold me accountable. While I will continue to workout, and try to eat right- I have no real expectations that it will actually happen. I mean I have been at this for a long, long while. I am realistic. And I am tired. My weight quiet literaly is my teether. It is the one thing that has held me back from achieving my dreams I believe. OH the energy wasted on wondering if my ‘back fat’ is showing! And the tears I have shed over beach vacations. Cognitively I know that is all nonsense.

But I am trapped. By my own fat mind games.

I have never, ever discussed my really screwed up body issues with anyone. And so naturally I decided to start by telling the internet. I just thought if we were going to be good friends this was a good place to start.

But you won’t tell anyone will you?
_____________

Let me please add that I know some readers (and friends) will scoff (never used that word before) at my claim of fatness. And I know that there are plenty of woman out there who are far far heavier than me - and are perfectly OKAY WITH IT.

And I envy them.

Calling myself fat is not an easy thing. I will go out on a limb and say this is the hardest post I have ever written. But I felt compelled. I hope it reaches someone who can relate just a little.

photocredit: Murphy McCracken via Flickr

Cat 'houses' are out of control!

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 05:14:00 GMT

Um, so you know about GlamCat right? Yeah that damn perfect cat I mention every other post…well, I started thinking maybe I should actually buy GlamCat some little piece of furniture of her own. You know the Amazon shipping box she is currently sleeping in (hey, I added a blanket. Its like practically the Kitty Ritz) might not be cutting it forever. So I made the mistake of Googleing for ‘Unique cat furniture”.

OH MY GOD people.

What the hell is going on out there in the cat world? This goes beyond ‘crazy cat lady’ behavior- this is totally insane. Lets review some of the wacko findings.

Want kitty to sleep on a sinking ship? You can!

Want kitty to have nightmares of being eaten by a larger blue-smurf cat? You can!

Do you have a pair of kitties named Harry and Hermione? Look no further…

Did you find kitty in an alley behind the Benihana? Make her feel at home…

Was kitty abducted by aliens? The love of your life? Or possibly is a gay drag kitty who can’t get enough of fabulous purple fur?

Now this insanity got me thinking that maybe some of this is spurred by indoor-only cat guilt.

After all SOME PEOPLE* would say keeping a cat indoors is like kitty-jail.

Not judging. Just saying. And that is when I found this. A frickin Disney-esque jungle recreation for the kitty.

Which would be awesome. If I could add a whole wing on to my house just for Mozy kitty.

I think I am leaning towards one of these below. Cuz Mozy is a pretty modern hip mid-century kitty.

GlamCat is all about the retro.

But these beauties cost real BUCKS. ($350? Are you Fur Real?)

They are for the I-got-adopted-by-the-Rockefellers set…so maybe we will just stick with the Amazon box for now.

*NOT ME so save the hate mail k?

Giving it up for Lent. Or Not.

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 07:59:00 GMT

Oh my goodness I talk about religion a lot these days huh? Trust me. It is purely an accident....But here goes another one...

Hey did you hear? Its that time of year when people give up stuff they could probably do without anyway really like to show their commitment to their religion. Or something like that. I am not Catholic, so the concept of Lent is a little blurry. But I gotta say I think it is a really very practical way to make you feel grateful. You know that whole ‘you don’t know how good you have it- till it is gone’ kinda philosophy. Well I have never participated…but I was thinking maybe this year I would do a ‘Bloggers Lent’ sort of thing….

I am thinking of giving up one or all of these

1. Checking stats on my blog hourly daily.

2. Passive-Aggressively posting on Facebook…and only posting the ‘pretty’ parts of my life.

3. Using Twitter like one big commercial to promote everything I have written, said or done that day.

4. ‘Touching up’ photos of myself before posting so that I look younger/thinner/better in everyway.

5. Whrrling/Photographing every single place I go with my kids and missing out on the actual fun of being there.

But honestly I would rather give up this stuff:

1. Laundry
2. Unloading the dishwasher
3. Grocery shopping

TheHusband: Hey honey, I have nothing to wear, nothing to eat off of and there is no food in the house.

Me: Um, yeah. I gave those up for LENT. Now don’t bother me. I am busy doing quiet examining of my life over here.

TheHusband: You aren’t supposed to give up stuff you hate doing. You missed the point.

Me: I can give up whatever I want. This is my religious journey for Christ’s sake.

TheHusband: You need help.

Truth is…I am going to give up SOMETHING for Lent. Worth a try. I am not sure what yet.

Possibly Mentos.

And I think I might be going to hell my faith might be wacked because I find this HYSTERICAL.

But I bet Jesus would laugh too.

Cuz he was a funny dude.

Just look at the avocado pit.

That thing is pure comedy.

POTUS and Me? Same job. Less pay.

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 12:39:00 GMT

Hey POTUS. I am the one running the show around these parts....

Happy President's Day.

(um, it is this Monday. Yeah that is why your kids are home from school.)

I actually googled "What does the President do?" today to explain to my boys why this day is important. (Whoa, I am practically a home schooler I know). And it occurred to me (in a grand stretch of comedic license) that moms are a lot like presidents. See for yourself:

He or She represents the United States family and decides how it will work with other countries families. They She makes decisions that affect how the country family is run.

The President's Mother office picks many of the people with important jobs, including judges trash-taker-outer. The President Mom is also in charge of all the US armed forces toy arsenal.

The President Mom has to choose the people who help him her run his her office at the White House. These people help him her plan who he she will select for Cabinet best TV viewing couch positions.

There are many jobs to be filled and they are all important. The Senate husband must doesn't have to approve each nominee.

So enjoy the day.

And think about all those past presidents who learned how to do their multi-tasking jobs well from their best mentors; their moms.

Come visit Marcy at her presidential digs on the internet. She might appoint you an ambassadorship or something.

The Glamorous Life Association

How do you feel about Trailer Church at school?

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 08:15:00 GMT

Over a year ago, I wrote the following post about the 'Trailer Church that could be found in front of many of the schools in Orange County. It received an out pouring of response from my readers. Today, as I dropped off my children at school -next to yet ANOTHER of these trailers. I felt my frustration growing. So I thought I would re-post and see what your thoughts are on this issue. In a not-really-funny-note, this is the same post that prompted my children's elementary school to ask me to step down as PTA president. For reals.

*BEFORE you read: I am a Christian. I love me some Jesus.
And I am not a Nazi.

After calling my children's school district to find out more about a 'Released Time' christian education trailer parked at a park near school property, I learned many many things.

1. I learned that while the school allows children to leave campus and go to this 'trailer' during lunch it does not consider that an endorsement of a particular religion.

2. I learned that the school district does no background/security checks on the volunteers/workers of "Release Time". No idea if they are on the sexual predator list or not. No idea who they are at all.

3. I learned that even though the trailer was parked in what looked like a city park- the school has a shared use agreement with the city and therefore it is school property until 4:00 each day.

And when I asked how this organization was going to promote their 'education', I was told they would be sending home a flyer to the students. So I asked "how is that possible with the separation of church and state?" and Mr. District said "any non profit group can send out district approved flyers to the children". I thought for a minute and said "SO lets say I am a NAZI. But I am a non-profit NAZI with a NAZI organization I would be able to send home flyers to ALL the CHILDREN in the SCHOOL DISTRICT?". I was met with silence and then a weak "well, YES." Seems to me there is a real problem with their policy.

Hello. CHURCH and STATE? I am a Jesus loving Christian - and this trailer recruitment offends me. Who the heck are these people trying to recruit my kids into their trailer? Isn't that just a large creepier version of the scary guy and his van? Gosh I hope they don't give out candy too. And what about the poor Muslim kid? Or the Jewish child? Don't you think they are going to feel displaced by this even though the district says it isn't but it is ENDORSEMENT of Christianity? Where are the Trailer Synagogue? Or Mosque? This whole thing makes me sad. And it scares me. But what do you think?

For this post I attempted to contact "Release Time Education" for comment. But apparently they have none. They never returned my calls or emails or letters. However by visiting their site I learned their are 309 trailers sitting outside elementary schools in the state of California. And I learned they are only permitted to be there at the discretion of the school district. So if the I school district says no, then they are gone. Remember these trailers are not visiting schools in remote locations, which are no where near a church....This is the OC and we have more churches in Orange County than nail shops...I am eager to hear any and all thoughts you have on this strange concept of 'trailer churches' in our school district. Both good and bad. You won't hurt my feelings. I like an active dialogue.....

Team Snacks should be stopped!

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 09:22:00 GMT

It's Little League baseball season again. Something I used to complain about, but after surviving the nightmare of insane Pop Warner Football people and obsessed Club Soccer families…I now totally and completely embrace the sport of baseball. It fits us perfectly. The first couple of practices are always a hot bed of activity for the parents. Due to this thing called ‘mandatory volunteer’ clause. Which is the best oxymoron ever. If it is MANDATORY then you are not volunteering right? But that is okay….I love helping out. Because as you know by now… I am THAT mom. The one who is all involved and happy to be there. The one wearing the team colors from head to toe. So I will be pitch counting the games, scraping, setting up and watering the field, coordinating parties, applying band-aides and more. (We have the world’s best team mom already. But yes, I did volunteer to do it. Cuz I am insane.)

So you might be surprised by what I have to say today.

I am over the team SNACK thing.

Do you know what I am talking about?

So when a new team starts a little list goes around and all the parents pick a day to ‘bring an after the game snack.’ The boys on our team are ages 9-11, not toddlers or even infants who have to eat something every 3 hours. I am pretty damn sure my kids can wait till after we get them home to eat. And the majority of our games are at 6:30 at night. Meaning we will be ending about 9:30. What the hell is an appropriate snack then? A warm glass of milk?

So let’s say your kid just has to have a snack. Just HAS to eat the very minute the game is over…well, here is a radical idea...

How about YOU bring YOUR OWN kid a snack?

This would also eliminate the whole ‘snack-one-upness’ thing that goes on. The first week someone brings a granola bar and a juice, the following week that mom has to try to out-do…so she brings cookies and Gatorade. After a few weeks it has progressed to custom baseball themed cupcakes and ice cold glasses of milk or even pre-packaged $6 baseball theme box-snacks. If you are assigned one of the last games of the season, you start to consider bringing in a caterer or a roach coach to feed these poor hungry children who had to go a whole THREE hours without eating and are surely to pass out and die if they don’t get nourishment before they drive the 10 minutes home after the game.

If they had needed me to be the team mom, the first thing I would have implemented was getting rid of the team SNACK thing.

While reviewing our current game snack assignments for the season, I mentioned my idea to Jack. He of course looked me in the eye and said

“No Snack? Mom, that is un-American.”

Can anyone explain to me the point of these team snacks? Do you feel differently? Agree?

Let me know in the comments...

Find Marcy hanging out at her other place on
the internet The Glamorous Life Association.

New Printer? Kodak vs. HP

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 16:17:00 GMT

Buying new technology can be both intimidating and confusing. Sure there are 9 million websites with comparison charts and reviews, but sometimes you just wish a friend would tell you what to buy. Below you will see two short videos which show me testing many features on the HP and Kodak wireless printers. So if you are in the market...take a second to watch. You might be surprised by the results.

Marcy can be contacted with questions or additional product reviews by visiting Marcywrites.com.

What to expect at the next 'Checkbook Party'

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 09:46:00 GMT

Okay folks- this is a long ditty...I tried to edit and cut it down- but I gave up. It is a Monday so maybe you are looking for a good novel or blog post to read. In that case here goes:

Checkbook Party: party given for the sole purpose of selling a product. A la Tupperware. Or Partylite or candles...or jeans. Or just about anything you don't really need.

The phrase was created by my loving husband, who when I announced he would be on his own with the kids for a Friday night a few months ago- asked where I was going. When I told him it was a ‘candle party thing’…he said ’oh, no another Checkbook Party’- and the phrase was coined in my house from that moment on.

It is sad really, first you get the Evite, phone call or written invitation and you are excited. ‘Wow, someone wants me to come to their party!’….and then you read the fine print. This is not any regular let’s-get-together-and-drink party. Nope this is a party with a purpose. You are not going to be a guest at this party- You will be a CUSTOMER. Ah-ha! Now you know why you were invited..it is not your clever witty party jokes, or that you can bring a mean spinach dip…..no folks, you were invited because you have a checkbook. You were invited because every person the hostess knows was invited. The hostess was not selective- she asked everyone and anyone she knew (I was once invited by a neighbor I had never seen in person). But who cares right? It is a PARTY. So you put it on your calendar-why not?

The party itself looks remarkably like a real party- there is food, drinks and sometimes music. But strangely no men in site. Even the husband of the hostess is hiding in a room upstairs- or sent to the movies with the kids. Nope, no husbands, and no kids…but there ARE apple martinis. You decide to stay. You chat awkwardly with the strange collection of women: The hostess’s hair dresser, hostess’s sister, the hostess’s babysitter, mom’s from school and a few people who don’t even know the hostess but were brought along for moral support.

And then the unavoidable happens; the presentation begins. You look to the door and think ‘is there anyway I can get out of here?” Then you remember the hostess taking your purse and putting it in the guest room with the others. You are now a party hostage. You refill your martini and then sit down with the group and look up to the party presenter. OC Party presenters are like cheerleaders who have been to one too many Tony Robbins seminars. They are always ‘thrilled’ to be there and seem to smile continually. They show the candle/purse/cooking products like pros- with a silly story/joke/anecdote for each product. They always have a sale or a special on something. You listen and firmly plant your feet in thinking ‘ keep trying lady- but there is no way in heck I am buying’. And yet, inevitably by the end of the ‘show’ and after 2 or 3 martinis…there you are breaking out your checkbook. You never realized how essential candles are to your life. You absolutely MUST have that giant candle thing holder- even though you will never be able to actually light the candles with kids in the house without risk of burning the whole house down. You really really need those candles or lotion or fake designer purse or whatever. You decide to banish all other lighting EXCEPT candles in your home. You will now do everything by candle light. As you write your check you think to yourself 'this kind of party is a great idea': Cocktails, passive shopping and meeting new people…..will you go to the next Checkbook Party? YES! You bet-if you can read the invitation by candlelight.....

Please come visit Marcy in her candle lit
place on the internet The Glamorous Life Association.

Life. It's Comedy.

Disneyland in the Rain???

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 18:53:00 GMT

It was a crazy idea, take the kids to Disneyland in the middle of a bad rain storm. After convincing my too cool for school kids that rain poncho’s were VERY cool and fashionable- off we went. Things were manageable, and actually fun for a while. And I marveled at all the other insane people at the park that day too. Then, just before the kids ran off to ride Autotopia, a DOWNPOUR came. And never left. See the photo of the Disneyland guy standing there in the rain? He had his eyes closed. Like he was wishing he would open them and be in his dry warm home. So the boys rode while holding an umbrella and insisted it was fun and they weren’t cold. They aren’t the best liars…so we headed for the front gate. And that was when he heard the announcement “due to extreme weather conditions, Disneyland will be closing early today”. Apparently even Disneyland thought we were a little insane to be there.That is not a scratchy photo. That is RAIN pouring down. WOW.

By the time we made it back to the car we were SOAKED. Even with the ponchos, jackets and umbrellas. Just soaked.
Would I do it again?
Probably.
Because I am crazy like that.
Are you?

Come visit Marcy at her other home on the internet
The Glamorous Life Association.

Do you remember Zodys?

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 13:51:00 GMT

Before the Target and Wal-Mart battled for territory in OC, there were stores like Zodys who unabashedly labeled themselves ‘Fashion Discount’. Much like the Wal-Mart business model, Zody’s lived in stand alone buildings with huge parking lots out front. Inside under the glow of florescent lights was a multitude of departments which would occasionally have such odd pairing as toasters and underwear sharing aisle space. And in the days before we knew about things like Megan’s Law, my parents let me roam free while they shopped. They knew to find me in my the toy aisles when they were ready to go. Zodys was a dominate force in OC advertising, which frequent commercials showcased current specials. And in case you missed all the Zody commercials back in the day, because you were busy running to the kitchen to get a grape soda and some Jiffy Pop before Gimme A Break started, here is a typical one from 1981.

I think I miss the days of $7.99 acrylic blend scalloped trimmed sweaters, don’t you? And apparently I am not alone- Zodys has a Facebook fan page here.

Zody’s began in 1972 and by 1986 the last Zodys location closed, with many sites becoming Ralph Grocery Stores. This article from 1986 is fascinating in that it discusses the ‘void to be filled’. Who knew Target and Wal-Mart were waiting in the wings for the valuable OC market. I would love to hear your memories from Zodys. And if you worked there, and remember a little freckled faced pig-tailed girl who may or may not have OPENED a can of Play-Doh while waiting for her parents to finish buying a Hibachi propane grill, and then she PUT IT BACK on the shelf?

Um, it wasn’t me.

Marcy Massura can be contacted directly with comments and suggestions via email: marcymassura@gmail.com .
You can also visit her humor site The Glamorous Life Association or watch her OC & ME videos exploring Orange County right here on OCFAMILY.COM

photo courtesy

BADvertising: The Playgirl Club in the OC?

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 16:30:00 GMT

“Okay everyone pair up and act like you are having the time of your life on this gravel covered warehouse roof! That’s it Mike! Grab her beehind….Good Lisa, lift your leg a little higher…hey what’s the matter Annette? Well, I don’t care if Franco did say something inappropriate…try to break a smile will ya?”

There was a strange period of time in fashion history when the bell bottoms of the 70’s intersected with the bleached bombs of the 80’s.

Throw in a little Bedazzler design work and you get this stunning look.

I think it needs to be said that this fashion tragic club was somewhere near Disneyland.

Well to be specific and they were insanely specific it was one and a HALF miles south of Disneyland.

I am wondering if they thought just saying ‘2 miles’ would make people say “aw man I would go if it was 1 and half miles…. but 2 miles-for get it!That is just too dang far to go for entertainment excitement”

And, something tells me the ‘playroom’ they mention is not at all like the one I have at home.

If you enjoy so-bad-they-are-good vintage advertising, please come visit The Glamorous Life Association where you will find tons of these by clicking on the AdTalk button!

Whose homework is this?

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 05:39:00 GMT

Every day after the kids come home from school, It feels like I am buying a house or some other large purchase requiring tons of signatures. I sit down at the kitchen table and one at a time they present me with stacks of school papers and a pen and say “sign here, and here and here and here and….um, yeah over here too.”

Today was no different, except I decided to do something crazy today and actually read one of these papers I was blindly signing before I went back to my blogging house wifery. The one I choose to read was a letter home from my son’s 3rd grade teacher. It was a ‘compliance’ letter to the parents explaining the upcoming science lesson. Turns out kids no longer do riveting science projects like watching colored water wick its way up a paper towel…nope. My kid? He is learning about atoms, matter, energy and ATOMIC THEORY.

And he is in the THIRD GRADE.

Seriously?

Yes.

Seriously.

Then, I read the words every mom dreads the most.

Family Project.

Last time I checked I am not the one in 3rd grade. I do not need to learn about atoms or matter or Atomic Theory to get dinner on the table or the laundry finished. But she writes “these projects should prove interesting for the whole family and might stimulate some interesting conversation”. Um, I hate to say it Ms. Teacher but the only conversation this is going to stimulate is me cursing your name for giving ME, the mom, HOMEWORK.

So now I get to do messy science projects in my house, explain it to my kids and then clean up the mess?

So weird, because this sounds a lot like HOMESCHOOLING.

And this mama does a lot of things…but HOMESCHOOLING is not one of them.

I got an idea for you Ms. Teacher….

How about you do the teaching and I will do the parenting k?

Great. Glad we got that settled.

Unless of course you are available to discipline my kid after he gets busted for shooting his brother with a Nerf gun while he sleeping?

And I will be sure to call as soon as my kids get H1N1 and I need someone to do the parent vomit patrol too. After all, if you are gonna make me do all the messy teaching projects you should have to handle the messy parenting one k?

So if you still really wanna do a job swap…just let me know.

Otherwise stop it with your ‘family projects’ or I am gonna get all nuclear on you.

OC & ME: Visit to Balboa Island and more...

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 20:45:00 GMT

Hey its January in So Cal...let's go to the beach!
No I am serious.
Its true...I love to visit the beach cities in the off season. Less crowds, less half naked people and still all kinds of fun. On this episode I visit my favorite candy store, the original arcade, a pizza place with a freaky history and more....

I am always seeking story ideas. So if you know of a great/fun/qwirky person or place in Orange County- please let me know!

OC & ME: Mission San Juan Capistrano

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 15:17:00 GMT

Only 31 miles from my home is one of the oldest buildings in California. Mission San Juan Capistrano was founded in 1776 by Father Junipero Serra. Father Serra is well know figure in early Californian history.

Every 4th grader learns all about Father Serra and the history and purpose of his California Missions up and down our coast along the famous El Camino Real line.

The husband and I have decided to use this as a litmus test to grill people who claim to be California natives.

We will say "So tell me, what do you think of Father Serra?", and when they look back with a blank confused stare, we will know that they did not endure 4th grade in California and never had the glory of building a California Mission replica out of sugar cubes.

(Note: I am a 3rd generation Southern California native which is about as rare as finding a diamond in a gravel pit. Which er, I think is pretty rare. The Husband? He is mid-west thru and thru.)

This mission is so perfectly rustic, it feels as if you are on a movie set or Disney back lot. Only a Southern California native would say such a thing. As you now know, I have Disney and Hollywood running thru my veins.

And down the street is a favorite mid-century building...

I will be visiting San Juan Capistrano in an upcoming episode of OC & ME.
Stay tuned...

OC&ME: Watsons Drug Store

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:48:00 GMT

Did you know one of Orange County's oldest businesses is a great diner/pharmacy located in downtown Orange?
No?
Well, push play to visit Watsons Drug Store with me and see what you have been missing. I am sure you will want to visit soon.
Let me know when you go...I will meet you there.

A quirky tradition: Angelo & Vinci's

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 07:22:00 GMT

There is a restaurant in Downtown Fullerton called Angelo’s and Vinci’s. I have been coming to this place since I was a kid, and I still adore it. It is a feast for the eyes. The entire interior is a cornucopia (and I rarely don’t use that word often) of eclectic ‘findings’ lining the walls and ceiling. All the Italian cliches are there; chefs, flags, fake salami, cheese wheels and wine casks but the fun part is all the other stuff. The mannequins, the mirrors, the flying trapeze guys and a heavy use of Christmas lights. There was no master plan. No interior designer evident. It was just ’stuff’ and it was just nailed to any open surface. About the only wall with a semblance of a ‘plan’ is the back ‘love altar’ with photos of the owners ancestors. Like a little tribute to great-grandma Tortellini or Lasagna or something. Actually, the place is owned by the Steven Peck (born Ignazio Pecoraro) family. A successful choreographer and character actor starring in over 100 television and films who passed away in 2005. Next door to the restaurant was the prestigious Steven Peck Dance Studio and Repertory Company where as a teen, I was a member. Although we wouldn’t dare eat at the restaurant…after all dancer’s figures and insanely rich (and award winning) Italian food can make for some bad fat results. Mr. Peck would often visit in the dance studio and return to manage his beloved restaurant. Always happy it seemed. He was a ‘family’ man, and he treated everyone in his place just like family.

Now I return with my kids and I watch as they take it all in. The food, the knick-knacks and fun of it. Although on this last visit, Jack found it all a little too over-whelming. And I think Mr. Peck would have smiled at the sight.

This restaurant is to be featured on OC & ME video web series soon!

OC&ME: Decorating Disney!

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:20:00 GMT

Welcome to the first in my video series, featuring locations and events around Orange County. Introducing...

Yesterday I hung out at Disneyland and had the chance to interview several people who help make the holiday season at Disneyland special. Here is a short video talking about a few ways to 'decorate Disney' for the season....

Special thank you goes out to Disneyland for making these interviews possible.

Would you like to see more?
Please visit The Daily Disney for 2 more episodes shot this day.

Santa can't take a hint...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 09:56:00 GMT

Dear Santa;

When both of my kids sat down and said they wanted Swiss Army knives, and I asked to you while winking “Um, Santa do you think KNIVES are good good for boys to carry around?” I would have really appreciated you picking up on a damn hint being on my team and saying “Oh weapons and knives are not something little boys should be getting for Christmas!” instead of saying “What a FINE idea! I have carried my Swiss Army knife for 65 years! Got mine when I was 6!”…..yeah, way to go Santa. Next year why not drop off an Automatic weapon or bong while you are at it k?

Reality Check: This is the first year Tucker says he doesn’t believe (Jack hasn’t since he was 3. You know being the scientist and all)…but still Tucker took this visit very serious. He made us wait outside the line until he could think of the three things to ask for…So maybe he still believes just a little. We don’t have a lot of holiday consistency traditions since we move cross country about every 3 years and every other Christmas we travel to Chicago to spend it with my in-laws. But visiting Santa for a photo is something we always have done. And according to The Husband- we will always do until the boys are 18. Which is gonna be too awesome….I expect teenage eyerolls and all - that year.

I keep every Santa photo in a little book, along with a paragraph about the visit. It sits on the coffee table, and it is probably my most prized holiday decoration.

Weirdest thing? In the line area was a bribe-your-kid-to-be-good-vending-machine. Full of candy, small teddy bears and toys. Kinda awful awesome.

Happy Holidays Kid.
Now shut up and wait for Santa.

Come to Marcy's other home The Glamorous Life Association where comedy is served fresh daily!

Bizarre OC Playground

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 06:22:00 GMT

On a local school playground, we found an insane amount of writing. Like subversive lecturing really. These poor kids, even at recess they are getting told about such annoying valuable concepts as cooperation, sportsmanship and teamwork. I mean really, is that like even applicable in today’s Darwinian battle for survival success?

**insert comedic laughter here**

Even still, me thinks the PTA was using up a lot of left over cash that was earmarked for school improvements or the PTA Prez had a brother-in-law who was in the black-top painting biz because this blacktop playground….has A LOT of writing on it. Every where you look is a word or a square.

There is even a complete map of the United States. 'Cuz nothing says good playground fun like a rousing game of ‘Find Illinois’ with your classmates.

Most.....er, SOME if the writing makes sense. And yet some of it is astonishingly bizarre. For instance this little square with the words “Hustle” and “Desire” on it. Jack suggested this was the designated spot for doing vintage 70’s dances (that are spelled slightly different).

We were both at a lost about the “Desire” side. Unless this is also the designated make-out square. When we came across ‘Ski Jump’ Jack said “What the heck? Do they think this is Aspen?” So if any of you can enlighten me about the Hustle/Desire square I would love to hear your thoughts….and yes, stuff like this WILL keep me up at night.

Come visit Marcy at her real playground on the internet
The Glamorous Life Association today!

Friendship is a VERB

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:56:00 GMT

I have a friend who I talk about ALL the time. But she is busy. And I am busy and since we live a whole 14 miles away from each other it can be difficult to actually get together.

We try.

We really try…but something important always comes up and we always let each other off the hook with no guilt. Cuz we are FRIENDS. And we understand how much we are juggling. Recently she asked me to supply her a few dates that I was available to get together….and below you will see my e-mail reply.

She must have thought I was funny-because we finally got together…..and she even took this photo of me that day (isn’t it lovely?) against my protests. But my friend is bossy....er I mean, persistent and I had no choice but to pose for her. In a parking lot. As people watched....and possibly laughed. But that is okay...I think they were just jealous of us.

Dear Ms. Broughton:

We would like to inform you your current subscription with Marcy J. Massura Inc. Is nearing the end of its term. We do not wish to lose you as a subscriber and hope you will chose one of the following steps to rectify the situation as soon as possible.

Option A: Meet for lunch in downtown Orange on any of the following days and times.

(list of dates and times was put here)

Option B: Meet for lunch in downtown Orange on any of the following days and times with children (husbands optional)

(list of dates and times was put here)

Option C: Profess your adoration for all things Marcy J. Massura thru the use of sky writing and/or interpretive dance.

We know during these difficult economic times it can often be difficult to maintain all your subscriptions. We hope that you have benefited from your subscription to Marcy J. Massura, and will choose to renew. We value you as a key subscriber who has influenced the direction Marcy J. Massura has taken over the course of the last year and hope you will consider this renewal offer. Please advise as soon as possible to retain your on-going position as super friend and soul mate to Ms. Marcy J. Massura.

Regards,

Mrs. Narci Ssistic
Subscription Manager
Marcy J. Massura Inc

? ? *This offer is extended to an undetermined date of your choice.

Come visit Marcy at her other corner of the internet, The Glamorous Life Association, where she is always accepting applications for new friends, er....members.

Bowling might be my new hobby, if my liver can take it.

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:40:00 GMT

So I was away from the house this weekend for about 6 hours. And while I was away The Husband took the kids to a good ‘ol fashioned rummage sale up the street at our church.

I was more than a little bummed I missed it (from 7am to 1pm only? What the heck church ladies?)….but that’s okay because when I got home I discovered the boys had purchased a gas tank to a Shadow Motorcycle (just cuz it looked cool) and this…The camo green bowling ball and case belonging to Mrs. Alice McBratney.

Inside the bag the boys discovered several bowling tournament sheets with scores and teams form 1967. And also by the time I came home, Jack and Tucker had Googled Mrs. Alice Bratney to see that she lived in San Diego, graduated high school in 1945 and her parents once owned an appliance store. Yeah you heard me right- I have trained my kids to look for the story behind random items too. Poor children, they are destined to a life of yard sales, antique stores and of course, church rummage sales.

But the real treasure for me in all this, was the game sheet. The one that gave up the team names in Alice’s 1967 bowling league. Now these seem like the kinda women I could drink ,er..... BOWL with on Wednesday nights. Not sure which team would be the best fit for me…. The Saddle Baggers? Four Nags? or perhaps the understated Team #4.

I think maybe I would do well on The Unpredictables. But if they wouldn’t have me, there is always Alice’s team; The Brand-D-Sniffers. They were in 13th place and I think we know why. But I bet you, they had lots of laughs and I am sure Alice was the life of the lane every Wednesday night from 6-10pm.

Come visit Marcy at her other corner of the internet
The Glamorous Life Association
where she is always looking for new people to join her bowling team.

What was your first car?

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:06:00 GMT

As I go thru this motherhood thing making mental notes of all my children's first's (first school dance, first bike etc) I thought I would make a list of some of my own. Cuz its fun.

First celebrity obsession crush (and only): Shawn Cassidy

First dog: Bookie

First cat: Boo-Boo Kitty

First memory of being jealous: Kindergarten. Was not asked to be Supply monitor. April Bingesner was. Still annoyed.

First 'boy'friend: Scott Fairfeild. Except he wasn't really aware he was my boyfriend. Might have been cuz I was 4 and he was 5. Yup he was an older man.

First ‘boy friend’ that knew about it: Jarrod Hurst in 6th grade (ran into him this year. Read it here)

First kiss: I have no memory of this. Wasn’t Jarrod. THAT I know.

First date: Roller skating at Skatetopia with non other than the non-kissing-Jarrod

First sleepover: My house. 8th birthday. We danced, we did make-up. It was great. April Bingesner went home early-she was sick.hmph.

First time attending Sunday School: We made Christmas tree ornaments with fabric and Styrofoam balls. I still have one.

First roller coaster ride: Knott’s Berry Farm and I only did it to impress my friends.

First favorite brand name: Jordache (my dad’s company-see earlier post here)

First pair of legwarmers: 1978 worn over the Jordache jeans with wedge sandals. I thought I was SO HOT. I was 8!

First huge misunderstanding: 4th grade. Julie Zevenberger thought I was laughing at her for getting a question wrong. I wasn’t. But she hit me in the arm at recess anyway.

First cell phone: 1990 and it was huge. Mom got it at Good Guys for my birthday.

First computer: A PS3…1992. Fell in love on day one.

First huge disappointment: Losing to JoAnne Escasa in 5th grade for School President. I still want a re-count.

First Regret: Running against JoAnne Escasa for School President.

First big family vacation: Hawaii 1977. And it was wonderful.

First trip to Europe: 1984 without my parents whoo-hoo!

First heartbreak: Tony, 10th grade. He dared to moved away from me. The nerve.

First stay in the hospital: Kindergarten. I had mono. Entire school class walked up to hospital and said hi from the window.

First car: Camaro Z28 white got it the day I got my license.

First license: To drive. On my 16th birthday. DMV appt time? 8:15.

First Convertible: Red BMW 1995

First ‘mom’ car: Jeep Cherokee (was wedding gift. Thank you FIL)

First time on an ATC/Quad: I was 4. (1974) Still love it.

First job: ‘Broom girl’ at hair salon (my Aunts)

First paycheck: $10 for a Saturday afternoon

First apartment: San Diego State. Hardy Ave. (yes, that is Party-Hardy Ave. the one and only)

First house: Larchmont (Hollywood) 1996. Bought it before I was even married. Loved it.

First husband: Ed (and the last)

Remember that first car up there? Here is a video of me driving to school…

Oh and don’t worry I went back and picked up the boxes…

Hey pot-head. Stop yelling at my kids.

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 22:33:00 GMT

I am a huge fan of free speech.

I mean OBVIOUSLY.
After all- I am blogger.

However while visiting Huntington Beach recently for lunch at Dukes and a walk thru the surf shops I was faced with these people.

Well to be fair not JUST these people in the photo. But a whole gaggle of pot heads....er, pro-marijuana people screaming at passing cars and passing people. And they weren’t just saying “Hey legalize marijuana!” nope. It was (and I am quoting here) “What the **** you lookin at? You should legalize ****'n pot now! You ****'n losers!!!” (um astriks there to protect the innocent) And these angry profanities were yelled at the TOP OF their lungs by shirtless jobless pot head men sporting more tattoos than a guy on death row. It was scary and intimidating. And they were yelling at MY KIDS. I was too chicken to get THOSE GUYS photos, so I found these mellow guys and they happily posed for me. I especially like how the guy in back has decided to go a step further and fight for more schools and less jails….which I am not sure exactly how it ties into the marijuana debate, but way to go pot dude. You are gettin an A+ for effort.

The thing that I didn’t get at all, was who were they trying to convince with all this effort? I mean they weren’t at a rally or outside a court house. They were on the street by the pier. Maybe they were all too high when they came up with this idea. Next time fellas, you might wanna put down the bong and pick a place to protest that would be a little bit more effective for your cause.

Of course this whole scene promoted a ‘drugs are bad’ and ‘free speech’ discussion with my boys.

And on the upside, my boys now think that people who smoke pot are total crass rude idiots.

So thanks for that.

*

Before you ask: This post is not a commentary on this cause. I actually believe in medical use of Marijuana for specific illnesses. However, feeling “totally stressed cuz your girlfriend broke up with you” is not an illness.

After all, that is what beer is for…

Ed Hardy? No thanks.

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:16:00 GMT

Every time I mention Ed Hardy I get awesome feedback. (and by Awesome I mean a lot of people yell at me and a lot of people agree with me. Kinda 50-50)

Remember the Ed Hardy car?

Well, The Association is always working hard to fix all things wrong with the world.

Starting with ED HARDY deep v-neck shirts with rhinestones and glitter made for MEN. (I plan to move on to the men wearing tank tops and SCARVES next.)

But maybe these (John Gosselin) guys DON’T KNOW how gay er....bad they look.

Maybe no one told them?
Perhaps its time for a bumper sticker like this.

And I have solved other pressing problems in the world like bra straps and butt cracks with this business card.

Click here to read…

Clearly I am covering all the big issues in Orange County.
This is hard hitting journalism. Okay no it isn't.

But the business card post? Is my all-time most popular post.

Gets hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hits everyday.

Maybe I should actually print these and sell them?

* Photo note: Not my car. My car is clean, waxed and perfect at all times.
Okay. No it isn't.

Come see more ways I am trying to make OC a better place. Sorta.
The Glamorous Life Association

A few gift ideas for gaming kids!

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:12:00 GMT

Worried already about what to give your kids for the Holidays?
ME TOO.

Okay, I have a confession to make- usually by this time in the year I AM NEARLY DONE with my Christmas shopping. I know. Type-A, Control freak and all those other lovely things you want to call me right now. But here is the kicker…This year? I AM NOT. This year is the first year- I have no idea what to get my boys. And when I ask them, they stay stupid things like ‘a hover car’ or a ‘laptop’. Yeah, not happening kid. I tried to convince them to ask for a new family room sofa- but they could see right thru my plan. So when I had an opportunity to visit EA Games to test new releases I thought it would be perfect for pre-shopping. And I was totally right.

A huge room full of giant TVs, computers and handheld thingies to try out all the latest for Wii, PSP, Playstation and DS. And here was the coolest part, next to each game set up was a real person WHO HELPED CREATED the game. It was fun chatting with them about design and concept…but it was more fun to see Tucker totally fall in love with some of these games.

So here are the things we are most excited about:

Nerf for Wii: Finally a Nerf shooting game that won’t leave me with a million of those stupid darts all over the floor. Its all virtual baby.

G.I.Joe: I am anti military/war games. BUT of all of them I have seen on the market this is the least violent. No blood and the players who get hit just ‘disappear’.

Sims: My kids have never done the whole Sims thing…but Tucker was enthralled with Secret Agent Sims. You solve mysteries…very CSI in a totally SIMS way.

And to my surprise?

There was something there that I actually WANT!

Active by EA. Its similar to the Wii Fit…only it is completely different. It is HARD. A real workout. I actually did it while I was there and broke a sweat. Test groups have lost up to 20 lbs in a few months using it daily. So I am seriously considering buying this ‘game’ for myself.

Hey EA my laundry would like to thank you for providing Tuck with a color coordinated snow cone. My laundry thanks you.

Please visit Marcy at The Glamorous Life Association.
Comedy served fresh daily!

Now here is a book for burning.

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:33:00 GMT

I actually look forward to most Sundays, because it is my chance to get caught up on laundry and housework while the rest of the family lay on the couch like lazy bums.... er, I mean they are RELAXING.

This is a jewel of a page from a long ago book about pregnancy, which I recently found on the shelves of a library. Can you believe books like these are STILL able to be checked out? In case you don't have vision like a super hero, this is the copy:

"With all due respect for the liberation of women, someone has to clean the house and do all kinds of boring chores. Actually those jobs don’t take too long, and this photo shows Judith with the vacuum cleaner. Look at her closely and see the excellent posture she maintains as she walks around the room, pushing the machine on the carpet. Her shoulders are relaxed, her head is high and in doing this rather boring but occasionally necessary job, she is aware of watching her posture and supporting her baby well with her abdominal muscles."

I think I enjoy the fact that my day-to-day existence is referred to as ‘boring’ not once, but twice. But with ‘all due respect’ of course….UGH.

If you enjoy vintage ads, album covers and more that are so bad they are good...be sure to stop by The Glamorous Life Association for plenty more!
It's comedy served fresh daily!

A traveling husband. A happy marriage.

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:01:00 GMT

When recently asked what was the success of my 11 year marriage (that is like 40 years in Southern California years) I replied
“Well, he travels a lot”. I first heard my mom use this same line when I was a kid. Only now do I understand the comedy of it.

And tonight my husband leaves for 2 weeks on business trip overseas. He travels overseas about every 8 weeks, and is gone for at least 2 weeks at a time. He has always traveled for business. Actually a week after we met (and decided to marry) he left for Egypt. So this is nothing new. Last night over dinner my girlfriend asked ‘so where is he going?” and I laughed and smiled and said- “I have no idea”. “So when does he leave? Is it LAX?” And again I said “I have no idea-sometime Sunday night" And am I a bad wife you think? Perhaps. But I think I am just so used to him traveling – it is no longer a big deal anymore. (By the way I found out he is going to Hong Kong, Ningbo China, Bangladesh, Vietnam and some other place I still can’t remember or spell)

So yes, it is true we spend a lot of time apart because of his work travel. In addition to that, I am not one to stay home and work around his vacation schedule. This summer alone I went to Chicago twice and Catalina Island on my own with the boys. I know he would have loved to have gone with us- but he has a hectic work schedule and was not able.

Close friends of ours have the polar opposite marriage…they do everything together. They wake up on Saturday and run all the family errands together. When they are home from work they are always, always together. Sometimes I envy their ‘togetherness’ and sometimes I think they are a little insane. I mean I actually look forward to going to Costco ALONE. Sad but true. But they are a very happy couple..so it works for them.

On weekends The Husband and I use the ‘divide and conquer’ method. He will run to the store in the morning before we wake up, and later I will hit the Dry Cleaner or car wash while he watches the kids at home. And when we are home I am either running around cleaning, or wasting life on the computer and he is watching golf or on his laptop in the other room.

But we are still a very close couple.
For reals.

We talk several times during the day when he is at work, and since I was once in his industry we discuss his work issues and office politics for just entertainment. And of course there is e-mail. We are nearly famous for the amount of emails we send to each other. Sometimes from different rooms in the house. (Usually forwarding something- so don’t worry I don’t e-mail him ‘what do you want for dinner?’ from the other room- well, not USUALLY).

I love being married and think I have a successful marriage. I do yearn for a 2nd honeymoon with JUST him for several days at a time. But I am sure that will come someday. So is my marriage perfect? No way- but it is perfect for US. I wonder how the dynamics of our marriage differ from others…from yours?

Come visit Marcy at her other home on the internet The Glamorous Life Association

Do you dress your kids to match?

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:25:00 GMT

Dear Jack and Tucker;

Mommy is very sorry for almost always dressing the two of you in MATCHING outfits until you were about 5 and 3. That was when you asked mommy to ’stop making you look like twins who were 2 years apart’. Mommy is also sorry she also was always dressed in a coordinating outfit to your ensembles as well. Mommy is sorry she made the three of us look like a Sears clothing advertisement every time we left the house. Mommy is also sorry she faked surprise when other people would say ‘Oh my look how all of you match!’, when Mommy would reply “Oh gosh we do? How funny! It is a total accident’. Yes, Mommy is very sorry.

But on the upside- we have lots of cute pictures of the three of us where we all look very well color coordinated. So that is good right? And as for Daddy…well, I TRIED to get him to match us. But he refused to play along. Guess he was on to my insanity early. So mommy is sorry. Please forgive.

Love,

Mommy

P.S. Send your future therapy bills to me. I deserve it.

(Don’t think for one minute the matching bib was an accident either. I am so ashamed. It is an illness.)

Come visit Marcy at her other online home The Glamorous Life Association where you can see all the things she is doing now, that will require apologizing for later.

When cool moms say dorky things.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:09:00 GMT

A few days ago I was talking to my boys after school and they were both talking about the kids in their classes that are weird….er, I mean.... ‘unique’. They described kids I knew from my youth: the ones who seem to always have a runny nose, the ones who ask a million and a half questions just to impress the teacher and even a whole group of kids that stay IN during recess to work on their homework and to discuss Dungeons and Dragons (yup, it is still out there). So I tried to take the opportunity to talk about the importance of being kind ‘to everyone’. That is the right thing to do blah, blah, blah. And somewhere in the back of mind was this book cover-which I saw on the internet somewhere And although I laughed HYSTERICALLY at it-it must have stuck with me, because I ACTUALLY repeated the title words to my boys:

"Anybody can be cool, but it takes practice to be AWESOME."

To which my son replied “Mom. You get dorkier every day.”

And all I could do is agree with him.

(Photo note: not only is this guy AWESOME he has the most racially diverse group of friends found on any book jacket anywhere. And look at the adoration they have for him. He is now a cult leader. Awesome.)

To hear all the dorky things that come out of Marcy's mouth
visit her other home on the internet The Glamorous Life Association.

The many things we call mom

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:08:00 GMT

I am an OC mom, a wife and a whole bunch of other things to a whole bunch of other people. I have more job titles and positions than would fit on any business card. I am a daughter, a sister, team mom and room mom. I am the neighbor, the confident and the comrade. But for some reason the news people and journalists want to simplify things…and box me in to titles…that well, I would prefer they didn’t.

What I get most, after leaving behind my career in the apparel industry is the dreaded acronym; S.A.H.M.. I don’t like the term “Stay At Home Mom” (SAHM). Even though I do not get paid for my ‘work’- I am rarely at home. I am volunteering at the kids school, planning school parties, assisting on field trips, taking kids and their friends to baseball practice and all the rest.

I also do not like “Full Time Mom”…um, hello?… from the day you give birth you are a “full time mom”…is there anyway to be a ‘part-time mom’? If so, and it comes with health insurance it might be a good gig for me. Some days all moms wish we could do it ‘part time’ and just let the next shift clean up the vomit/diaper/dishes-but as far as I know there is no kid-share program in my county.

I also find the term ‘Housewife’ objectionable. Am I married to the house? Am I the wife of the house? If so then I think I have the right to tell the ‘house’ to start picking up after itself. And then there is the IRS form favorite “homemaker”. It implies I actually make the home from the ground up. And don’t get me started on the term ‘soccer mom’. I don’t know how, but that term has such negative connotations…implying mini-vans, mom-sweats attire and caddy gossip sessions.

So then what do I want to be called?
Well, I am loving a new one; S.W.A.T. (Smart Women with Available Time) to replace the a fore mentioned SAHM. And as for the IRS…I am going to stick with the classic ‘Domestic Manager’. Of course I am a member of the M.O.B. (Mother Of Boys- yes, I have two of them.) as well as was recently 'made' in the ever powerful OC MOMfia.

And as for my kids? Well, they have called me The Queen Almighty on occasion….but I am really just happy when they call me MOM. Unless it is more like MAAAAoooooOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!! Then I pretend I don’t hear them…because it either means they broke something or somebody hit someone somewhere. Or someone is calling someone a name. Of course THAT is something I can sympathize with…..

Visit Marcy at her regular hang out The Glamorous Life Associaiton for more daily fun exploring how motherhood is pretty much nothing like the brochure.

Bringing back the PeeChee Folder...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 12:47:00 GMT

So today I am off to the office supply store to pick up a 6 slot accordion folder, set of dividers, multiple color highlighters and cold laminating sheets for my 3rd grader. These are just some of the school supplies I thought they were kidding so I didn’t buy er ...forgot to send him with when school started many months ago. Silly me I assumed pencils, paper and fresh crayons were gonna be enough. Since when did 3rd graders need such sophisticated stuff to learn? Next year I fully expect an iPhone to be on the school supply list as well. When I was a kid, my school supplies consisted of pencils, paper and a few brand new PeeChee folders. As a matter of fact, that one up there? THAT IS MINE from 9th or 10th grade. (Don’t ask me why I saved these things. I must have known I would have a blog someday….)

This comes to you from my Molly Ringwald phase. I completely thought I WAS HER from the Breakfast club. I like how I wrote “Breakfast Club” under the photo in case you didn’t know who it was. Remember covering your folders in clear tape? Awesome. I have no idea what the heck ‘Commander Salamander’ was…although I suspect it was a band. A band I was probably pretending to like to impress a boy. I cringe seeing “U2” on there. I hate U2 now. I wonder what happened to turn me like that? I thought I always hated them. Guess not. I am slightly amused at my “love/lust” doodle. What the heck was that about? Should we look inside?…… There is a killer A+ essay on e.e.cummings from my honors English (which if you note the date on the cover was due on May 24th), some vocab test I completed using full-on CALLIGRAPHY (WTH?) and a huge printout of “prefixes, roots and suffixes and their Latin meaning”. I bet I thought I should keep that last one since it would come in handy when I was a National Geographic reporter after college. And the back? That consists of a price tag from Skaggs Drug Store (5 for $1.00) and a photo of Matt Dillon.

I miss the PeeChee.

I am going to propose they get added to the school supply list next year.

And then I am gonna show my kids how to waste a roll of tape putting over magazine photos on the PeeChee

Perfect.

Actually…..Just PeeChee.

Update: just learned they no longer make PeeChee folders. A moment of silence please.

Update Update: Someone says that Mead still makes them. But according to the Mead website…they don’t

Update Update Update: They go for A LOT of money on E Bay. Not that I was pathetically shopping Ebay for PeeChee folders or anything. Just heard. From someone.

Update Update Update UPDATE: Mead just contacted me themselves. And they have informed some PeeChee’s are still sold at select retails for the time being.

WHEW!

I guess all you guys can stop the picketing for the "Bring Back The PeeChee" Campaign.

We will have to find another worthwhile cause.
Should we bring back scratch-n-sniff stickers?
I will get right on that.

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How pink ribbons are driving me insane....

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:29:00 GMT

October, national breast cancer awareness month, is now behind us- and frankly not a minute too soon. I have pretty much had it up to here (my hand is super high in the air right now) with the dang PINK RIBBON. I get kinda ticked every time I see a pink ribbon for breast cancer awareness. And that means I get ticked… a lot. Because they are putting pink ribbons on EVERYTHING. No wonder survival rates are improving every year. “Honey I am gonna take the dog for a walk with my pink ribbon leash, listening to my ipod from my pink ribbon arm holder, wearing my pink ribbon clogs right after I finish making the brownies with my pink ribbon spatula for the pink ribbon card game tonight!”

{Inner voice: Oh Marcy. You are so going to hell for this post.}

Stick with me. I got my reasons…..My dad died of esophageal cancer, and there isn’t some giant-take-over-the-world group trying to raise money for THAT cancer. And my dad’s cancer? It has like only a 2% survival rate or something- which in this day and age is INSANE. Where the hell is the ribbon for that cancer? We need a dang ESOPHAGEAL ribbon. Not yellow, cuz that is used for Lance I-cheated-on-my -wife-but-I-survived-cancer-and-can-ride-a-bike-fast-so-people-think-I-am-a-saint Armstrong, and blue is for Prostate cancer. Hey how about ORANGE? It’s my favorite color. Yes, Orange ribbon’s it is. I will make up buttons too…”Wear your orange to support esophageal cancer!” Or maybe it should be “Wear your orange for the one of the cancers no one can spell without spell check”. I am gonna get right on that…just as soon as I make the T-shirts I promised my dad I would make: “CANCER SUCKS” but never did.

I am only not really but sorta kidding of course. I think fighting ANY form of cancer is a good thing. Cuz I figure after they wipe out breast cancer, they are gonna be sure to jump all over researching Esophageal cancer.

UPDATE: I discovered with my mad late researching skills shortly after finishing the post above that it turns out thanks to THIS SITE which lists all the ‘cancer colors’, I have now learned that Esophageal cancer already has a ’color’…and get this? It is Periwinkle Blue. Really? Periwinkle Blue? That is like the most ambiguous of all colors. If I wear a periwinkle ribbon I just know people are gonna come up to me and say “hmmm is that blue for Prostate Cancer? Or is that lavender for Gynecological Cancer? Or maybe it is blue for Thyroid cancer?” (yes, same as Prostate cancer. WTH?)

And what is my favorite ORANGE already assigned to you ask?

Leukemia.

Click over and look at the list. Some of the ‘colors’ are pretty funny (well, funny in a cancer supporting kinda way) Like someone is trying to make it as HARD as possible to show your support. For example I give you Bone Cancer = white with a gold OUTLINE. An outline? Whoaaa there cancer color buddy- that is pretty tricky you know, for a RIBBON. And poor Lung Cancer…it is PEARL. I don’t even think they make ribbons in PEARL do they?

Its all too complicated.
I think I will just wear a rainbow ribbon.
Oh crap. I think that makes me gay right?
And on the upside, while researching this post I found the perfect t-shirt to wear to my son’s next baseball game..

Thaaaaat’s right.
“Save 2nd Base” with two big baseball’s over my ta-tas.
See? I totally care.
And I am not going to hell for this post.
God loves comedy.
I hope.