If you have a son of a certain age, this is the season of the suits.
Even if your kid has never donned a suit and tie before, he’ll be putting one on for his prom, or maybe for his graduation.
My son likes to live dangerously. He never wants to plan anything more than eight seconds before it happens.
This means that we’re all waiting right now to see if he’s actually going to get that failing grade up in English, enabling him to walk in the graduation procession with the rest of his high-school classmates.
Considering that we have family coming from out of town to view the ceremony, I certainly hope he manages to pull it out of his behind, or I’ll never hear the end of it from some of the more, hmm, shall we say, judgmental members of our clan.
But I’ve finally reached the point, now that he’s 18, where I let him have the entire ownership of his failures as well as his successes.
If he doesn’t get to walk with his friends in the scorching heat, wearing a cap and gown while enduring hours of abject boredom, so be it.
As he likes to say to me, “I’m 18 now, Mom. I got it.”
I always want to retort, “Got what? Brain damage? Herpes?” But I keep my mouth shut, which is a new skill for me, and one I’m trying to practice regularly, even though it’s nearly giving me an aneurism.
The other suit he may or may not be wearing is a tuxedo to his senior prom. The dance is on Saturday, but since he likes to cut it close, he still can’t decide if he has a date or not.
You’re likely reading this on Saturday morning, and I certainly hope he’s decided by then.
I already cashed out my 401(k) to buy him the prom tickets, which (and I am not making this up) cost more than tuition for my entire first quarter at the University of Utah.
But it turns out that the first girl he asked had to go out of town. That’s what happens when you ask a hot older girl who’s already graduated. She’s got nothing to lose.
So now he says he wants to go stag. Or maybe not. Maybe he wants to ask someone else.
“You need to order your tuxedo,” I keep pointing out to him. “You’re not going to have one if you wait any longer.”
I suggested that if he added a cummerbund, shirt and bow tie to his nice black suit, he’d have a tuxedo-ish ensemble. Naturally, he scoffs at this idea.
Yet every time I suggest we go to the tuxedo rental store, he’s just got too many other things to do, like playing “Grand Theft Auto” or loitering at Jack in the Box with his friends.
But he’s 18, and he’s got it. So, happily, I don’t have to worry.
Contact the writer: 714-796-7994 or mfisher@ocregister.com
