For several of their oh-so-perfect teen years, my two kids had the privilege of trekking to Japan to visit their mother’s family every summer for three weeks. This ate up a decent chunk of that span of time known to all parents as The Dead Zone.
“Dead” as in: “I better check on my kid because it’s 1 p.m. and he’s still in bed. I wonder if he’s dead?”
During those summers in Japan, my son and daughter went to camp, attended a bit of school, did some homestays and basically kept themselves pleasantly occupied.
Of course, when they were back in O.C., they pretty much were slumming it.
Now, I’m the first to say summers for teens (and vacations for everyone) should be enjoyed. Most of us work too hard and deserve a break. So just because your teen is facing two and a half months of mostly idle time doesn’t give you, dear parent, the right to get über-cranky and become an overbearing taskmaster.
Dr. Peter Robbins, co-founder and co-director of Turning Point Counseling (turningpointcounseling
.org), established in 1983 and based in Fullerton, had these suggestions for your teen’s summer:
Be flexible. For example, let your teen sleep in twice a week — say, until 11 a.m. — but not every day.
Take a family vacation. “Make an intentional effort at memory-making,” Robbins says.
Establish time-limited goals. Make your teen commit to looking for a job or working for two weeks. It’s easier for teens to commit to something that isn’t open ended.
For those who find jobs, licensed marriage and family therapist Janice Christensen, offered the following advice:
“The best way to motivate teens to get a job is not to require them to do so, but to refrain from giving them money for non-essentials.”
She added, however, that some kids’ already busy schedules with AP classes or sports can preclude them from getting a job.
If your teen can’t find a traditional job, consider ramping up the chores at home, and perhaps the allowance to match. Make a weekly or daily list, and explain that each duty needs to be fulfilled before relaxation time can begin.
Work alternatives
Wall Street Journal columnist Veronica Dagher, offered the following useful tips to jobless teens:
Start a business. You don’t have to be the next Bill Gates. How about trying your hand as a social media consultant, dog walker or babysitter? Try to monetize what you enjoy doing.
Get to know yourself. Start a journal. Who knows, you could be a superstar storyteller in the making.Plus, it will be fun to read when you’re older.
Get fit. Team up with a friend and develop an exercise program. Learn about healthy foods and start cooking one or two meals per week for your family.
Develop your career. If you’re interested in a particular occupation, connect with a professional in that field and ask to shadow them for a day. Many professionals are eager to serve as mentors.
Volunteer. This will look great on your future résumé, and many people find helping others fulfilling. Local libraries, senior centers and camps are a good place to start.
Improve your finances. If you’re earning money, even if it’s only allowance, start learning about budgeting and saving. There are all kinds of websites, books and apps to help you get started. Since schools don’t provide guidance on this essential skill, summer is the perfect time to learn about money.
Whatever your teen does this summer, Robbins cautions to be hyper-aware of what he calls the “three kidnappers of teens”: who their friends are, what they put in their ears (music), and what they put in their eyes (TV, movies, social media).
