Remember the embarrassing pimples, frenzied hormones and pressure of a new social hierarchy in middle school? It wasn’t just you feeling this pain. According to current research, the entire middle school system may be exacerbating the strain of those years. When researchers from the University of Michigan studied the transition from elementary to middle school, they found some troubling trends.
Children’s grades drop dramatically on average during the first year of middle school, compared with their elementary grades. Kids also become less interested in school and less self-assured.
So why do we put kids into an environment like this, especially when they’re in the midst of puberty? Tweens can be more self-conscious, and while their thinking skills are growing more complex, some of life’s other important social skills have typically not caught up, causing problems.
“It’s a social war zone for these kids,” said Michael Klein, a counselor at Fullerton’s Ladera Vista Junior High School.
SOCIAL SKILLS ARE LACKING
More than 40 years ago, public school districts across the country began adopting the stand-alone middle school model (sixth through eighth grade), forgoing the traditional system of kindergarten through eighth grade.
A 2010 study by Education Next, a research organization focused on education policy, found that students who attend standalone schools between elementary and high school suffer in comparison with students who attend K-8 schools.
In math and English, K-8 kids perform much better on tests than kids who attend standalone middle schools. And middle school kids miss almost twice as many days as K-8 peers.
Reports of bullying peak around the eighth grade, Klein said, in part because younger adolescents haven’t necessarily developed all their empathy skills and often say hurtful things.
“Any little comment or eye roll can be devastating. It’s all new to them, and the coping skills aren’t necessarily there yet. It’s a bad combo,” Klein said.
SCHOOLWORK GETS TOUGHER
Middle school is also a big transition academically. Students who had just one teacher all day during elementary school now have up to seven instructors, with different expectations and teaching styles.
“Before, they had just one teacher to impress. It can be overwhelming,” Klein said.
Beyond the social constructs, standalone middle school typically combines children from multiple elementary schools. According to the Education Next study, having too many adolescents in one place leads to lower test scores, only widening the achievement gaps among students.
WHAT PARENTS AND KIDS CAN DO
Despite the doom and gloom surrounding middle school, parents should stay positive when discussing their own middle school memories, said Sarah Montes, a national board-certified middle school counselor from Orchard Hills School in Tustin Unified.
“Parents need to keep in mind that the energy they exude about middle school will be transferred to the child. This is not the time to share the traumatic middle school stories from your youth,” Montes said. “Whatever internal feelings you have about middle school, your kids will pick up on. Come from a place of optimism and excitement. Share the advantages. Your kids will be able to have breaks between classes and move around, sample a variety of classes, sports and activities. And they get to try elective classes,” she added.
Another important thing parents can do to help ease the transition to middle school is to make sure their tweens are getting enough sleep, Klein suggested.
SO MUCH HOMEWORK!
Time management is a crucial skill for surviving the middle school years, Montes said. Children need to learn to keep track of assignments from up to seven courses. Different classes also mean homework in multiple subjects.
Montes estimated that a typical sixth-grader at Orchard Hills has about one to two hours of homework each day. If a child is struggling with a heavier homework load, parents should help him tally how many minutes he is spending on each subject to identify which classes are eating up the most time.
Once your child knows which subjects are giving him trouble, he can contact that teacher to help develop a plan to address the issue.
With middle school’s increased schoolwork, families may want to re-evaluate extracurricular activities.
“If you are noticing that your child is exhausted and facing burnout, it may be a good time to discuss as a family which activities are the ones to let go of,” Montes said.
The bottom line for parents is to guide children as they develop their own independence, resilience and coping skills.
Klein said that means connecting with the school and keeping communication open with your tween.
“I don’t know if offering advice is more important than just listening. Be an open ear,” he said.
Montes agreed. “Empathizing is the first step when you talk with your child about difficult experiences. Be an active listener, silent and quiet, and repeat back what you hear.”
