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Experts on stress, wellness, helicopter parenting and the modern work culture say that busyness has become an epidemic in the U.S.
Experts on stress, wellness, helicopter parenting and the modern work culture say that busyness has become an epidemic in the U.S.
Amy Bentley
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The last time a co-worker or a friend asked how you were doing, did you answer, “Crazy busy”? That’s become a standard response today, and people say it with pride, as if it’s a kind of status symbol, when in most cases, it’s actually a burden. Crazy busy adults and kids tend to be exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed out. 

Experts on stress, wellness, helicopter parenting and the modern work culture say that busyness has become an epidemic in the U.S. Many people now regard downtime or time off as something that should not be valued, says Brigid Schulte, an expert on the busyness epidemic who wrote “Overwhelmed: Work, Love & Play When No One has the Time,” a book about time pressures and modern life. 

For her book, published in 2014, Schulte spoke to experts and researchers about why Americans are determined to exhaust themselves. The answers were myriad: the pressure to work long hours; the pressures of work and parenting placed on mothers (what she refers to as “the cult of intensive mothering”); technology, which allows us to work anytime anywhere; and our lack of leisure time, to name a few. 

Schulte also explored what people, herself included, have sacrificed due to excessive busyness. Her book discusses ways to get out of the trap.

“We’ve made busyness almost like the price of admission for modern life,” Schulte, who is the mother of two teenage girls, told OC Family. “We talk about it as a status symbol. If you’re not doing anything there’s something wrong with you, you’re a loser. So when people are not busy they create it to fit in. … Our culture right now is gearing us all toward a crazy, insane lifestyle nobody wants.”

She added, “This is a stressful time. … There are a lot of things overloading and coming at us. It’s exhausting. We’re constantly having to decide what to pay attention to.”

Busyness can hurt you

Simply put, being busy all the time is stressful and can harm your health. Stress causes anxiety, damages the immune system and can lead to difficulties with sleeping and depression, says Dr. Mery M. Taylor, a clinical child and adolescent psychologist at Children’s Hospital Orange County.

Taylor points out that excessive busyness and its negative health effects are not just afflicting adults. She says many children and teens are overloaded with schoolwork, clubs, music lessons, sports, dance classes, social events and other extracurricular activities that wear them out. 

Taylor, who also has a private practice in Los Angeles, says some parents are obsessed with having their kids “doing 10 million things.” 

Many kids aren’t getting enough breaks or unstructured playtime, according to Taylor, and they need downtime to be healthy. “Music is important. Art is important. Sports are important, so we get them doing everything. Certainly, enriching programs have their place, but how much is too much?” Taylor asks. 

“As parents, we try to do it all and think our kids can do it all,” she says. “But free play is good for our kids. We need for them to have some time that is unstructured, that doesn’t have an adult organizing and dictating the rules. Play dates are fabulous. Just go home and let them play and they can use their imaginations.”

A report by the American Academy of Pediatrics on the importance of play in promoting healthy child development reinforces Taylor’s sentiments. The report says play is essential because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social and emotional well-being and development of children. It also notes that free playtime has been declining as families continue to bulk up their activities. Not only are days filled with soccer practices and music lessons, but the constant chauffeuring from one place to the next also limits downtime. And most of us can agree that some of the best family interactions occur during those unscheduled moments: talking, preparing meals together, working on a hobby or art project, or playing sports or games together.

The pressure on teens

When it comes to teenagers, parents often worry about college admission, so they want their child to be well rounded — an athlete, a music virtuoso and a star student, Taylor says. 

She notes that many teen activities are geared toward winning, which puts pressure on them to be perfect and competitive. “It can be a huge letdown when you don’t meet these expectations. That can lead to maladaptive coping, like perfectionism, and it can lead to depression.”

Work-life balance

For parents, trying to balance jobs and family life can be difficult, and working moms are often the most overwhelmed. Cali Williams Yost, CEO and founder of the Flex+Strategy Group and Work+Life Fit, Inc., is a national work-life balance expert. Yost says that careful planning and better organization can go a long way toward improving parents’ stressful lives.

A mother of two daughters ages 14 and 17, Yost has found that most working people lack organizational skills that tend to make them busier than they need to be. 

A national 2013 study of full-time workers conducted by Yost found that 53 percent of respondents kept separate calendars and priority lists for their work and personal lives, or they didn’t keep calendars at all. This revealed that most people fail to coordinate their work and home lives, which Yost says they should be doing. “Try to get a handle on what you want to do and where, in work and in your life,” she says.