Thumb-sucking. Hair twirling. Nail biting. Cuticle picking. Nose picking. What child doesn’t have a bad habit that drives parents crazy?
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the causes of annoying habits like these are unknown, but their repetitive nature suggests that they serve a soothing or calming process for the person doing them.
In many cases, as children mature and develop greater self-control over their behavior, bad habits will stop, most often by age 8, says the AAP.
For the most part, people act on habits with little awareness or consciousness, according to Dr. Mery Taylor, a child and adolescent psychologist at CHOC Children’s Hospital of Orange County. Bad habits might not seem serious but nail biting and cuticle picking can lead to ugly nails or bleeding cuticles, and excessive hair twirling can lead to hair loss, according to Taylor.
Before accepting that your child will endure a lifetime of baldness and bad manicures, know that even the worst habits can be corrected.
First off, punishment usually doesn’t work, says Taylor. “It’s a behavior that they really can’t help,” she says.
Taylor suggests parents try to figure out when the child is doing the bad habit and possible triggers. Does the child do the negative behavior during homework time? Is it when the child has free time? Does the behavior occur when the child is stressed? Is the child restless and needing something to do with his or her hands?
“Keep a little notebook. Then prepare a game plan. Do this for a week. Let it go and see what comes up. Try to figure out when this is happening,” says Taylor.
If the child is chewing on her hair or biting his nails during stressful times, talk to your child and ask what is bothering him or her, suggests Taylor. Try relaxation techniques like deep breathing before the child starts homework, or engage the child in positive self-talk. Have the child repeat, “I can do this!” Let him or her take a short break during homework time to help keep calm. If the child starts biting his or her nails in the car, let him or her bring a toy or a stress ball in the car for a distraction and keep his or her hands busy, she says.
If the child is doing the bad habit while relaxing, such as while watching television, keep his or her hands busy. Give the child some Legos or Play-Doh to play with or put on special mittens at this time, she says.
Try these additional tips:
• When you notice that your child has not been doing the bad habit for a while, reward him or her. “Catch them being good,” and say that you noticed, Taylor recommends.
• Help the child self-monitor. “You can say, ‘ Oh, I am noticing you are doing this, so it’s time to get your mittens.’”
• Make a behavior chart or star chart and give the child a sticker when she doesn’t engage in the bad habit or stops doing it. When the child has 10 stickers, give the child a little reward.
• Calmly point out what you don’t like about the habit and why. This approach, suggested by kidshealth.org, can be used with children as young as 3 or 4 years old to help increase their awareness of the habit. Say something to the child like, “I don’t like it when you bite your nails. It doesn’t look nice. Could you try to stop doing that?”
• Use over-the-counter products, such as bitter-tasting compounds, which can be placed on the fingers or cuticles to remind the child when he or she begins to bite nails or suck on a thumb. Done alone, this isn’t hugely successful, but it’s worth a try, says Taylor.
