My wife and I agree on most things, especially when it comes to raising kids. Which really means that I agree with her, as I’ve come to understand that Elaina’s opinions are more important than mine on most of the crucial issues and decisions involving our children, from clothing styles to choice of pediatrician.
It’s not that I’m shy about sharing my thoughts, but we’re just lucky in that we tend to agree on parenting style. And where we don’t agree, I generally defer to her. Because she’s usually right.
I don’t think we discussed parenting much before the news that our first child was on the way, beyond agreeing that we didn’t like kids crying in restaurants or on airplanes.
“What are your philosophies about raising children?” It isn’t a question most of us discuss while dating. I believe I speak for many when I say we’d run screaming if we were asked it on a first or second date. “Do you like kids?” is enough of a red flag for many of us.
I’m sure there are many couples who discuss the issues in advance and come to a consensus. Elaina and I chose to basically wing it and luckily ended up in agreement. Perhaps the odds are that if you’re compatible on other aspects of life, your parenting philosophies will fall into place. My advice to couples in love is to weigh parenting compatibility just as precisely as you’d compare all other forms of attraction and repulsion.
I realize how lucky I am that Elaina and I agree and that she is such a cool, creative mom. She inspires me daily, and I’m not the only one.
Elaina, a writer, runs a parenting blog (OandRo.com), contributes to this publication and has a strong and growing social media presence, especially on Instagram — something I’ve yet to master.
She has an incredible sense of style, especially when it comes to dressing our kids. She combines bargains from big-name stores like H&M, Zara, Baby Gap, Nordstrom and Old Navy with a select few designer items (mostly gifts) and makes it all work by mixing in Etsy-like finds from hipster designers. Oh, and princess dresses. Rosey loves princess dresses.
But what’s really cool is that she does it all on a budget, creatively combining sales, loyalty program coupons and gift returns, so she rarely pays full retail.
She’s becoming well known in the babywearing community (yes, that’s a thing!) as a source for information about slings and such, but it’s her expertise in strollers that I think is unsurpassed. We’ve owned at least 10 in four years, after all, and she has detailed opinions on each.
Luckily, she’s also mastered the modern art of online buying, selling and bartering, so I don’t think we’re out much money in the stroller-vetting process, as she continues trading up and down, buying low and selling high on trendy models, while leveraging gifts and returns as she goes.
Elaina is an example of an evolving model of modern motherhood I find inspiring. There’s a cool clique of creative moms, many of them in Orange County, who are driving digital discussions of style and substance. They discover each other online and through more traditional means, such as church, school and mutual friends. They stay connected, corresponding digitally but also via face-to-face meetings at Disneyland, community parks, South Coast Plaza, Habit Burger and other established and emerging corners of cool in Orange County.
And if I find myself home watching the kids a few more nights a month as the women connect, I’m happy to do it.
Because the only thing that inspires me more than my wife is spending time with our kids, and that’s mainly thanks to her.
Contact the writer: kedric@coastmagazine.com
