In the spring of 1983, Lisa Ryhlick was dismissed early from Mission Viejo High School in order to get ready for her senior prom.
“I got my hair done and laid out in the sun to, hopefully, get a last-minute tan,” she remembers, laughing.
She also remembers the long line of students outside of Reher’s Florist on Marguerite Parkway, picking up their dates’ boutonnieres or corsages. Only fresh flowers, nothing artificial or fake, would do.
That evening, when her date picked her up at home, her parents took three or four photos, and a more awkwardly posed photo was taken later at the prom venue, the now-closed Movieland Wax Museum in Buena Park. A few teachers and the museum security guard enforced safety during the dance.
Today, Mrs. Ryhlick teaches algebra 2 and geometry honors at Mission Viejo and is married to her prom date, Brent Ryhlick. They have two sons, Matthew (Class of ’15) and Michael, who is currently a sophomore at the school. Promwise, she’s seen it all as a student, teacher and parent. I asked Mrs. Ryhlick how her now-husband, then-boyfriend, asked her to go to the prom.
“Oh,” she assures me, “there was no ‘asking.’ ”At least not like there is today. Because Lisa and Brent were already dating, it was basically understood that she would be his prom date. Brent Ryhlick wasn’t waiting by her car after school with a dozen red roses in one hand and a billboard-sized sign reading “Prom?” in the other. His friends weren’t hiding behind other cars in the lot, taking candid pictures and posting them on the newly invented Internet.
There was nothing flashy or over-the-top about going to prom in the spring of 1983. It was simple, straightforward and deeply rooted in tradition, formality and fun – no smartphones needed. It was an occasion marked by photos of couples, floor-length gowns, and dancing until the prom ended.
Today, prom is more popularly characterized by group snapshots, short dresses and leaving the dance early for an after-party. While most of these new “traditions” tend to be less traditional, they can also be more expensive. New trends such as the pre-party and “promposal,” or prom proposal, demand student dollars.
A brief history
From the time the term was coined in 1894, prom has become a rite of passage for young adults in America. Revered by some and ridiculed by others, it’s definitely an event that most high school students consider attending their senior year.
According to a 2012 article in Time magazine, the first person to mention prom was a student at the all-male Amherst College who wrote in his journal about a banquet he attended at all-female Smith College.
Prom is short for promenade, and while proms began as special, coed banquets for graduating university students, by the 1940s, prom had become the fancy high school dance it is today, thanks in large part to a growing teenage culture.
From the outside, the modern prom appears to be almost weddinglike, requiring upscale venues, cosmetology appointments and personal drivers to be booked months in advance. Some students – and parents – will go to extremes to make sure that prom night is one for the (year)books, and it can end up costing as much as a down payment on a used Toyota.
The cost of prom
The 2015 Prom Spending Survey conducted by Visa confirmed that the typical American family spent an average of $919 on prom. Parents covered about 73 percent of that cost. According to the survey, families with annual household incomes of less than $25,000 surprisingly spent the most on prom, an average of $1,393.
Juniors and seniors at various Orange County high schools didn’t quite relate to the extreme spending statistics published by Visa, though most did agree it can get expensive, especially for male students.
“I think $919 is a little high, but for a guy, it might actually be close,” says Jack Hardwick, a senior at Santa Margarita Catholic High School. Since 2003, the school’s prom has been held at the Disneyland Hotel’s Grand Ballroom, with the exception of 2008, when it was held at the Grand Californian Ballroom. Tickets begin at $130 a couple and include a sit-down, three-course dinner.
“There’s a lot of pressure on the guys when it comes to prom,” Rigoberto Jimenez, a senior at Anaheim High School, says. “The guy pays for almost everything.” This year, his school’s prom will be held at the Hacienda restaurant in Santa Ana. Ticket prices start at $85.
One new trend that could relieve some pressure on the guys is the sale of individual prom tickets. Recently, Corona del Mar High School started selling tickets individually, allowing guys and girls to buy their tickets separately. Tickets to Corona del Mar’s prom at the Marbella Country Club will start between $70 and $80. The average Orange County prom ticket is roughly $80, a price that is double what Mrs. Ryhlick says she paid in 1983.
At most high schools in Orange County, students who can’t afford to buy a ticket are encouraged to seek financial assistance from administrators. Many high schools have formed partnerships with community outreach programs and local retailers to help students cut costs.
“We want everyone to be included,” Abigail Peterson, a junior at Corona del Mar High School, says about making prom affordable to all students.
At Santa Margarita Catholic High School, students in need are identified, and the activities office takes care of their ticket costs if needed.
High school students have also tried to cut costs by renting party buses and dresses, making their own corsages from inspiration on Pinterest, and going to prom without a date. (See page 22 for tips to reduce your prom budget.)
Photos and more photos
When Matthew Ryhlick attended his first prom, his mother asked if he needed extra money for professional photos, to which he replied: “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Mom.” He and his date opted to take their own photos in Laguna Beach before the dance.
Donna Vandenberg, head of student affairs at JSerra Catholic High School, says that her son Andrew also took his prom pictures in Laguna Beach at the Montage, overlooking the ocean.
Today, taking photos has become an event in itself, and most of the photos are typically taken at the preparty, a new tradition that involves photo shoots, socializing, eating dinner, then more photos, usually at an outdoor scenic location before the dance.
While the old standard of “guy asks girl, guy pays for girl,” is still very much intact, the girl now assumes the role of chief planner for prom activities, including the preparty and the after-party.
Typical after-parties consist of organizing food, games and music at someone’s house and can last until 1 or 2 in the morning.
Preparties and after-parties have become a social experience for parents too. They are usually the photographers behind the iPhones at the photo shoots. Some schools still offer professional photo opportunities for couples at the venue, but with the improved quality of smartphone cameras, the majority of students (and their parents) are much happier taking their own photos in front of a natural backdrop. Other popular spots for photos include the Los Rios Historic District in San Juan Capistrano and the Orange County Great Park in Irvine.
As a parent, Vandenberg says she has seen girls wear one dress for pictures and another to meet dress code requirements for the dance. Buying two dresses for prom isn’t uncommon in Orange County. Students at JSerra Catholic High School agree that pre-party prom pictures are a big deal, especially for girls.
“No one makes their grand entrance at the dance,” Gemma Hartigan, a senior at JSerra, says. “Girls take off their false eyelashes and shoes when they get there.”
This new tradition of having a veritable photo shoot before the prom has replaced the old tradition of picking the girl up at home and taking a photo in the living room or on the staircase. To most high school students in Orange County, picking the girl up at home isn’t only unnecessary, it’s archaic. Luckily, the invention of the “promposal” still allows guys to demonstrate chivalry in their pursuit of prom dates.
The promposal
I am only six years removed from my senior prom and can vividly remember the night that I was asked by my date, my yearlong crush from Spanish class. After rehearsing for the school musical, I returned home to find an illuminated boogie board floating in the pool. The flickering tea candles glued to its foam surface spelled out one simple question: “Prom?”
While this was elaborate compared with Lisa Ryhlick’s casual invitation to prom, today’s promposals are even more over-the-top.
“Now it’s not just who you’re going to ask, but how you’re going to ask them,” says Veronica Plascencia, attendance technician at Santa Ana High School (Class of ’91). At Santa Ana, the senior student who performs the best promposal will receive free tickets to the dance. That incentive alone inspires students to go all out, even if it means spending as much on the promposal as they would on the tickets. The same tradition exists for dances at Anaheim High School.
For Carlos Macias, a senior at Santa Ana High School, his promposal will involve the beach and lots of rose petals.
“I’ll need help setting up,” Macias admits. “I won’t be able to pull it off by myself.”
Just like marriage proposals, a team of friends is often required to execute an adorable and original promposal. Creativity and timing often determine its success or failure, and money is also a factor. These elaborate schemes cost an average of $324, Visa reported in 2015. Students have booked helicopter rides and choreographed flash mobs to ask their dates to the prom.
“Last year, a student bought his date a cat to ask her to prom,” John Tanner, a senior at Santa Margarita Catholic High School, says. “It can get expensive.”
Hardwick says that the majority of male juniors and seniors at Santa Margarita High School spend $30 or less on their promposal, which seems to be what most students in Orange County are willing to spend.
Regardless, it’s almost impossible not to spend any money on a promposal, big or small, if you want to follow the current trend. It can also be difficult for students to avoid feeling stressed. Could social media be to blame?
Social media’s impact
Snapchat and Instagram allow students to publicize the few promposals that still happen at home.
Students at Anaheim High School say that if a promposal isn’t posted on social media, it’s like it didn’t happen at all. Not only does a promposal have to attract public attention, it also has to attract cyber-attention and be “postable.”
“I always try to ask my date in a way that’s worthy of an Insta post,” says Drake Roby, a senior at Santa Margarita Catholic High School.
Searching the #promposal on Instagram gathers thousands of pictures posted by high school students all over the country. With access to so many images and ideas, teens in Orange County feel an enormous amount of pressure to execute a promposal that’s both personal and popular on their social media sites.
Pinterest is another popular social site where students can scroll through endless pages of prom-related content, getting ideas for their promposal, handmade corsage and evening wear. In the current age of DIY, individuality and originality are top trends among high school students in O.C.
Lauren Prudhomme, activities director at Woodbridge High School, says she believes this newfound prom competition is a direct outcome of the Pinterest craze and social media.
Attire budgets
The “asking” portion of prom is just the beginning of many expenses. For female students, it’s easy to get carried away getting ready for prom without a budget in place.
“Personally, I have a limit for the cost of my prom dress,” says Erika Rodriguez, a senior at Santa Ana High School.
Most senior and junior girls in Orange County will choose between new shoes or a new dress, spending no more than $100 on their dresses. It’s the same amount that Mrs. Ryhlick spent on her dress in 1983.
“I shop for my dress on Australian websites,” says Mickey Galvin, a senior at Santa Margarita. The Australian styles are lighter than the heavy, floor-length gowns of past proms, she says.
Depending on the dress code of the school, some girls will buy shorter prom dresses, which cost less. But the cost evens out with expenses such as professional makeup sessions, waxing appointments, eyelash extensions and manicures. In an article in The Telegraph on the rise of British proms, psychologist Caroline Schuster attributed such extravagant beauty rituals to a generational obsession with celebrity culture and “red carpet looks.”
Junior and senior girls at Anaheim High School said that they take inspiration for prom hair and makeup from the Kardashian sisters.
The girls aren’t the only ones spending money to look good on prom night. Carlos Macias (SMHS) says he’s buying his tux. “It will be a memory for me later on,” he says.
Other students are renting their tuxedos, but will spend money on a new tie, pocket square, socks and shoes.
“We never tried to mimic a celebrity (back in 1991),” Plascencia of Santa Ana High School says, adding, “The students today are less concerned about looking good for themselves and more concerned about looking good for everyone else.”
Has prom in Orange County become just another social media spectacle to be “shared” with and “liked” by followers and “friends”? Have the days of prom formality officially come and gone?
Although the majority of high school students still look forward to attending the actual dance, they seem to be spending more time, energy and money on new traditions that overshadow the prom all together.
Some students will even forgo attending the prom, but still pay for a dress, a party bus, dinner and an after-party as if they had bought a ticket. As the virtual hype surrounding prom increases each year, the expenses and the social pressures may inevitably follow suit.
Prom isn’t simply somewhere you go anymore. It’s a shareable event, a competitive spectacle to display to your thousands of closest friends and followers online.
By the numbers:
$919
What the average family spent on prom in 2015
$1,393
What families with an annual household income less than $25,000 spent on prom
last year
$80
The price of the average prom ticket in O.C.
$324
The average cost of promposals
in 2015
Prom night safety
Educating and enforcing prom night safety in high schools has come a long way since the days of poofy sleeves and punch bowls. Before, during and after the prom, student safety is a top priority of high school administrators and event-planning companies. Here are some safety measures you and your teen can expect in the weeks leading up to prom and on the night of the dance.
‘Every 15 Minutes’
Most high schools in Orange County will participate in “Every 15 Minutes,” a national program that portrays a mock DUI crash on campus with real students. The presentation exposes the devastating outcomes of drunken driving and texting while driving on prom night. Some schools will also host a guest speaker to share a powerful and personal message against drunken driving.
Safety contracts & emails
Safety contracts outlining the expected behavior from students at the dance must be signed by both students and their parents. Guests from outside schools are also required to sign contracts and have them signed by an administrator from their home school. Parents can anticipate receiving an email from an administrator with advice for supervising a fun and safe prom night.
On prom night
At the event, security personnel dressed in formal wear regulate student activity both inside and outside the venue. Upon entry, students must pass a security checkpoint where they are patted down or their purses are checked. As an extra precaution, some schools breathalyze students and search party buses for prohibited substances. In addition to security guards, faculty chaperones, the schools’ resource officer and other administrators may be present to enforce safety.
