I’ve been watching the Olympics on TV, and it’s reminded me of the athletic training system that consists of practicing a sport over and over again – but in your mind.
Apparently, this visualization technique actually works to improve performance, due to that whole fascinating mind-body connection thing that trendy people are always yammering on about these days.
Call me crazy, but I’m starting to think that, at age 60, I will probably never qualify for the Olympics.
And I don’t know if I’ll even have a chance to see another Olympics in person, after attending the 1984 Los Angeles summer games and the 2002 Salt Lake City winter games.
Still, I wanted to try this athletic training system myself, so I decided to practice something in mind that’s difficult, exhausting and boring.
By that, I mean housework.
So, I sat in the lotus position for an hour in my bedroom and meditated as hard as I could on my unfinished housework. I visualized it being done. The sweeping. The dishwashing. The laundry. The unfolded towels.
Then, I got up and looked and, guess what?
It still wasn’t done.
However, during the hour I’d just spent staring at the wall, I did notice a 10-foot-long cobweb that stretched all the way across my bedroom ceiling. Truthfully, I’d noticed it before, but then I’d take a nap.
Anyway, I didn’t have a mental image of a broom, but I did have one in the laundry nook, so I got it and removed the cobweb.
There. Mission accomplished. Time to get the remote and watch more Olympics coverage.
Then, I realized I really did actually have to clean my house, even though no one was coming over. That’s true dedication, right?
So I looked for online inspiration. And found this woman who calls herself FlyLady.net. She has all this relentlessly cheerful and upbeat advice for how to make housework fun.
Usually, I want to beat people like that to a pulp, but some of her systems look good, especially when she tells you to get rid of clutter.
It’s time for me to do that again. She suggests you get a box and walk around your house and find 27 things to donate to charity. Then, walk around your house with a trash bag and find 27 things to throw away.
Here’s my question: Can you use the items already in the trash can? That really would speed things up.
She also has a thing called “Weekly Home Blessing Hour,” which is not, as it sounds, a prayer meeting. Instead, it’s a tricky way to say, “Spend an hour a week cleaning your disgusting house.”
And, gee, I was feeling proud this week because of the huge cobweb.
Meanwhile, I will try to get my house cleaned by 2024, in the hope that Los Angeles wins its bid to once again host the summer Olympics. We’re competing against Paris, Budapest and Rome to win the gig.
Hopefully I’ll live long enough to see it, if my teenagers haven’t yet given me a heart attack. Now, where’s that remote?
Contact the writer: mfisher@ocregister.com or 714-796-7994
