It was a hot summer’s night in 1992, a year when nightclubs throughout the country were blaring Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” and Kris Kross’ “Jump.” Crop tops and high-waisted jeans were all the rage. At a La Habra club, then 17-year-old Rosa Pena-Juarez and a group of friends used fake IDs to sneak inside. As the hours melted away, the group became separated. Most passed the time sharing dances and carefree laughs. But the evening didn’t end happily for everyone.
One of the girls, who had overindulged, was escorted out of the club by security after becoming a bit “rowdy.” The girl found herself standing alone on a curb, where a stranger offered her a ride home.
The next morning, her friends learned the girl had been raped before being dropped off.
“It was horrible,” recalled Pena-Juarez, a now 42-year-old mother of two who lives in Costa Mesa. “To know her and who she was, was just crazy. I thought, ‘That is just wrong. That is not supposed to happen.’ ”
Underage drinking continues to have devastating consequences throughout the country. Binge drinking is responsible for the deaths of more than 4,300 underage kids every year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. However, teens who drink are still in the minority. A CDC study revealed that in 2013, 35 percent of high school students consumed alcohol; of those teens, 21 percent admitted to binge drinking.
Experts say that with some strategic planning and effective communication, parents can guide their children toward making smart and responsible decisions.
“Talk to your kids about how alcohol is not a good solution to life’s problems,” said Randy Haveson, an Aliso Viejo-based public speaker and author of “Party With A Plan: The Guide to Low Risk Drinking.”
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with alcohol, but it’s important for people to wait until after they’re 21 to begin drinking.”
Take it from Haveson. He has a master’s degree in counseling and, jokingly adds, a Ph.D. in “personal experience.”
Haveson, who grew up in the Los Angeles area, began drinking and using marijuana around age 16. He was doing cocaine by age 17. By the time he reached college, his troubles had completely taken hold.
“I crossed that line into addiction and I became a full-blown cocaine addict, marijuana addict and alcoholic,” he recalls. “I got kicked out of college and fired from a job delivering pizza. My life was a complete mess. I hit bottom.”
Fortunately, Haveson recovered from his addictions and turned his experiences into a formidable public-speaking career. While he continues his work influencing positive teen behavior, he has plenty of advice for parents too.
Adults should never glorify their own underage drinking, he said, and never be permissive of teen drinking. Of course, they should also serve as good role models for their children.
“There’s no way you can say to a kid, do as I say, not as I do. They’re going to be following your actions, not your words,” he said. “It’s really important to set a good example.”
Jay Jameson, a Laguna Hills-based psychotherapist, works with teens and families who have struggled with alcohol use. Though he said underage drinking has shifted a bit since the legalization of medical marijuana, it’s still an issue for many Orange County families. He said teens who drink are now favoring hard alcohol.
“They have very little experience with it so they go way overboard,” he said. “They’ll binge drink and end up getting sick or alcohol poisoning.”
When talking to kids about alcohol use, Jameson said, parents must be terribly careful with their wording. They should verbalize the importance of moderation and healthy drinking, he said, while making it clear that they don’t condone underage drinking.
Jameson regularly hears from parents who have repeatedly caught their son or daughter drinking. Parents whose children have been repeatedly caught drinking would be wise to book a consultation, he said, to ensure their behavior doesn’t spiral out of control.
“You don’t want some kind of addiction to take hold,” he said, adding that young people suffering from depression can be especially susceptible to the consequences of alcohol.
Today, Pena-Juarez uses her friend’s experience as a tale of caution for her 21-year-old daughter, Stephanie.
Although she would prefer her daughter abstain from alcohol, she has educated her on how to consume responsibly.
She has taught her about the importance of forging genuine relationships with others, for example. Pena-Juarez also created a culture of trust with her daughter, and encourages her to call home for a ride anytime, with no questions asked.
“I want you to go out, I want you to have a good time,” she recalls telling her daughter. “I just want you to come back and be safe and I don’t want you to have horrible, tormenting experiences.”
Meanwhile, Haveson’s website, risespeaker.com, contains more information on how he can help teens and their families.
