Our third child is due in mid-June with a much different birth plan. The arrival of baby Mabel likely will be more grueling than those of our first two, Otis and Rosey. No doubt the pain and discomfort of natural birth will be much harder to bear during the 12 to 24 hours of labor. There will be sweat and tears, aching muscles, painful limbs, little or no sleep, all followed by days of recovery.
I’m sure it will be tough on my wife, Elaina, too.
Hold the outrage. I’m kidding … well, sort of. My overwhelming focus and concern is with my wife and our child, of course. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to some anxiety about how much more is expected of me with a natural birth than medicated ones.
For the first two deliveries, I was directed to a position behind my wife’s shoulder, at her request. I held her hands, fed her ice chips and even cut the cords, but I wasn’t asked to help her through contractions and the pushing.
Both deliveries involved a cocktail of the best drugs modern science has to offer, including Pitocin to induce labor, morphine for pre-epidural pain, plus whatever’s in an epidural these days – and we were totally fine with that.
But this time is different. After the less-than-satisfying birth of Rosey involving what seemed unnecessary suffering not relieved by the medications (indeed, my wife now understands that Pitocin aggravates the pain) and a sudden arrival (“I see a head!” the nurse cried out while she was rolling Elaina over to change positions), Elaina has been dedicated to delivering our third child naturally.
I’m onboard with the concept of a natural birth, just as I was fine with the idea of medication. I think most fathers are along for the ride when it comes to these big decisions. But my knowledge was limited.
After attending an all-day birthing class (something I skipped for the first two kids), I admit it all makes sense to me now. I think I learned more in that six-hour class than during the first two births combined, plus whatever skimming and flipping of pages I may have done in the library of baby books we have at home.
It helped that the class, at SoCo’s Granola Babies and taught by boutique owner Gisele Baturay, was straightforward with the facts. I was afraid it would be directed toward natural-birth true believers, making us feel guilty for our previous birth choices. But it wasn’t.
I felt out of shape while we practiced the pain- and pressure-relieving moves I’ll be responsible for during birth. The double hip squeeze, belly sway and butt wobble will challenge my endurance as I push and pull, squat and squeeze every few minutes during contractions that could last for hours. I’m also meant to offer emotional support, be assertive and help my wife stay focused on her breathing throughout.
The class was a bit of wake-up call, compelling me to take a quick sprint toward improving my fitness by the birth date. I signed up for group classes at Orangetheory Fitness, I’m riding my bike more and I’ve even started stretching. Yoga? We’ll see.
A non-medicated birth is my wife’s choice, and I’m all for it. Marrying an older guy was her choice, too, one I also supported. I just hope I don’t let her down on the big day, when she needs my physical and emotional support the most. Wish us luck, and I’ll report back when I’m a father of three.
