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When to start sending your child to sleepaway camp depends on the parents, their parenting style and the child's temperament, says Audrey Monke, the longtime camp director at Gold Arrow Camp at Huntington Lake, south of Yosemite. Gold Arrow Camp hosts many campers each summer from Orange County. (Thinkstock)
When to start sending your child to sleepaway camp depends on the parents, their parenting style and the child’s temperament, says Audrey Monke, the longtime camp director at Gold Arrow Camp at Huntington Lake, south of Yosemite. Gold Arrow Camp hosts many campers each summer from Orange County. (Thinkstock)
Amy Bentley
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Thinking about sending your child to sleepaway camp for the summer but worried she’ll get homesick and not be a “happy camper?” Are you – the parents – also ready for the separation, or too anxious to even think about it?

When to start sending your child to sleepaway camp depends on the parents, their parenting style and the child’s temperament, says Audrey Monke, the longtime camp director at Gold Arrow Camp at Huntington Lake, south of Yosemite. Gold Arrow Camp hosts many campers each summer from Orange County.

“Many kids have extremely fun and successful camp experiences as young as 6 years old, but that’s too young for most kids,” says Monke, who also has a master’s degree in psychology.

Most resident camps will accept kids at age 6 or 7 and sessions last from a week to all summer long, but the trend is toward shorter sessions of 1-4 weeks, says Tom Rosenberg, president and CEO of the nonprofit American Camp Association. Rosenberg says the younger elementary grades are a good time to have children spend time away from parents at sleepovers. If a child does well at a sleepover, they should be OK at sleepaway camp too, Rosenberg says. Another sign a child is ready is if he or she talks with anticipation about going away to camp, he says.

If the child has separation anxiety at a sleepover, “Maybe this would be the summer for day camp with an eye toward resident camp next summer,” Rosenberg says. “If camp is new for your family, think about visiting some camps the summer before you think your child is ready. See a few camps, take a tour and start talking about how fun and exciting it will be. See what kind of response you get from your children.”

Parents can look for an accredited camp to visit from the “Find A Camp” tool on the American Camp Association website, acacamps.org.

Anxious parents with anxious kids might want to wait, Monke advises. “Sometimes, ‘He’s not ready for camp’ actually means you’re not ready. Realizing that your child can be OK without you is sometimes hard on parents, and it’s a big step to let them have the independent experience of summer camp.”

Andrea Watson, director of Outdoor Adventure for the Orange County Council of the Boy Scouts of America, says that in her many years of experience with Scouts and camping, the summer between grades 5 and 6 is an ideal time.

The Orange County Council hosts many day camps and sleepaway camping programs for Scouts, youth groups, students and others, including programs at the Irvine Ranch Outdoor Education center.

For the child’s first time away, Watson suggests parents think about sending their child with a friend so they can share a room.

Children who have successfully attended overnight school science camps with schoolmates and programs like that also tend to be better prepared for a longer sleepover camp, Watson says.

Monke’s age-related guidelines

Ages 6-8: Only send kids ages 6-8 if they are fairly independent, can take a shower on their own, were OK at a day camp and are asking to go.

“Parents need to express confidence in their child in front of the child. The kids need that vote of confidence from their parents,” Monke says.

Ages 9-10: For kids 9 and 10, if they are excited to go, then send them. If they are hesitant, “Talk with other families whose kids go to camp to expose them to the idea. Hearing how much other kids like camp might encourage him or her to go,” Monke says.

Families can attend camp information sessions and watch camp videos to see how much fun camp is. If the child still feels hesitant, let him know that you, as the parent, think it’s an important experience. Find a camp with activities that match your child’s interests or wait until next summer, she says.

Age 11: If your child is 11, “It’s really time. Know that kids who are hesitant about camp at 9 or 10 are likely to still be hesitant at 13, and possibly hesitant at 18 about going to college. Kids who are nervous about being away from home need to figure out how to work that out,” Monke suggests.

Prevent homesickness

Sometimes a child will feel homesick while away at camp.

Parents should reassure their child in advance, encourage the child to write letters home, and make sure the child knows that the adults at camp will take care of them, Monke says.

And don’t let your kids come home early – this undermines their ability to adjust and develop independence, Monke says.