I would like to preface this list by saying that I like most people. I'm super stubborn that way. You can plop me down at a party next to nearly anyone and I will find something to talk about. I take pride in ferreting out their most redeeming qualities and actually think that is the best course of action at any social gathering. But some personalities traits are, let's all just face it, dreadful to encounter at a party. With the holiday season upon us and the likelihood that you will be attending at least one party, I've made this list of the 7 most dreadful party personalities and how to handle them. I hope this helps and remember it's your party too! The Crashing Bore Favorite topics of conversation: Possible deadly reaction of buffet food to their medication. The “freaky” dream they had last night. How cool they were in high school. How to handle: Play interested. To everything, shake your head and say, “That’s interesting.” (Note: This only works if your spouse knows that when you say something is "interesting," it means you think it’s not interesting.) 
The Arrogant Real-Estate-Related Professional Favorite topics of conversation: Their weekend house or boat at “The River.” How much they bought their house for in 1998. Wine. How to handle: Play dumb. Act as if you haven’t ever heard of anything they are talking about. Do you mean the Santa Ana River? Where is Villa Park? Wine, I love Bartles and James, too! What's your favorite flavor? The Salesman Favorite topic of conversation: How much money you could make selling (fill in blank here). How much money they made last year selling (fill in blank here). How much money do you want to make? How to handle: Say you and your spouse have more money than you could possible manage already. Say things like, “We're loaded” or “My husband makes so much money, I wouldn’t know what to do with any more.” Then blow your nose in a twenty dollar bill and throw it on the ground, just to drive the point home. Minute-Detail Talker Favorite topic of conversation: The difference between French goat cheese (or chèvre) and domestic sheep cheese. The thread count of the napkins and why I should care. How she wanted to bring her New Graphic Op Art Large Sabrina bag by Coach but was afraid the bold pattern would throw off her Dolce & Gabbana Satin Psychedelic Dress she got at….blah, blah, blah. How to handle: Ask the waiter if they serve Mountain Dew, when they don’t (which they won’t in California) storm off in disgust and go sit at another table. The Instant BFF (just add wine) Favorite topics of conversation: Nothing seems off-limits. Should she break-up with her boyfriend of seven years? Will he EVER ask her to marry him? In-depth analysis of each of her boyfriend's friends. TMI is like a badge of honor to her. How to handle: Dead straight honesty! Tell her EXACTLY what you think she should do. Give her a "take away" by sketching graphs and charts on a cocktail napkin. For instance a "Likelihood he is Cheating on You" graph or a chart of her reproductive capability over the next 15 years. Person With Distracting Hair or Manner Favorite topic of conversation: This person, has no outstanding personality fault, God bless 'em. They simply have something bewildering or annoying about them that makes it impossible to concentrate on whatever it is they are saying--like a really bad swipe over, a rogue bra strap, or a constant folding and unfolding of their napkin. How to handle: Pretend you are in a scene from Napoleon Dynamite and this person is one of the "quirky" characters you're meant to embrace and quote lines from for years to come. Feel free to ramp up your own distracting manner and enjoy the party together. Repetitive Insulter Favorite topic of conversation: Endless prodding you to tell them when your baby is due, even though you insist you're not pregnant. Next, how much better you'd look if you weren't wearing red. Lastly, how weird they thought you were when they first met you. How to handle: Smile. Go home and write about them on your blog. **** Just the other evening Larry and I were at a party where I encountered more than one of these dreadful party personalities. By chance, someone had a video camera and caught us on tape: Larry's so sweet to me. |
