 So before you ask, or lose any sleep over it, I thought I might explain the name, of my blog Trampled by Zebras. It is a rather colorful title for a blog, and I figured you would want to know why I chose it. (and if not, you can doze through this part, because the funny will be later).
In medical circles, there is a saying: "If you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." The idea is that the simplest answer should be the one you look for. Just because you have a headache does not mean you're dying of brain cancer. If the horse symbolizes the most common solution, then the common solution would be headache= tension, or sinus or something of that nature. The less common, esoteric diagnosis, in this case, brain cancer would be termed the zebra. Got that? In other words, most people deal with horses in their lives, not zebras. Then, there's me.
I have three children. Two of them have been diagnosed with high functioning autism. One of them has very strong Asperger-like characteristics, but has never been formally diagnosed. And my husband also has undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. It was unofficially confirmed by the doctor that tested my son, so we know he is part of the tribe. That said, I am the only one in the family without autism/Asperger's Syndrome. I LIVE with zebras. The simple answer wasn't the answer in my family. And yes, much of the time I feel trampled. By autism. And looking at it through medical eyes, the diagnosis trampled my family. Get it?
Most of the time, if you see unruly kids, maybe a child who is shrieking, or frustrated, whining or throwing a fit, you would assume that blame would fall squarely on the parents' shoulders. I don't blame you. Before I had children, (and ok, confession, even after I had children, but before  mine were diagnosed, I would have agreed with you). Clearly, something has gone wrong somewhere, and well, this is just a child who needs some discipline. While at any given time, my children probably could use more discipline (couldn't every child?) my childrens' behavior is not based upon a lack of parenting. It's the autism. It causes the kids to have a harder time self-governing and handling their reactions.
There is a tendency to be rigid, and full of anxiety and life sometimes is a lot of work for them. Which, of course, means life is a lot of work for me a lot of the time. I don't really complain, it is what it is. Of course, my challenge is figuring out which is the autism, and which is just, well, being like any other difficult kid. Sometimes the sheer frustration of trying to figure it out leaves me a great ball of confusion. Damn the zebras! They knock me to the ground again.
I am picking myself up off the ground often, many times a day, as those zebras come crashing through the underbrush (Yes, I know zebras live on the Savannah, shut up, it's my story, if I want underbrush, I will use it, haven't you ever heard of artistic license?) In any case, they come crashing through the underbrush, stomping me with their evil hooves. When they stampede is unknown, I just live in wait, all of the time. I know, at some point, evil eyes will peek through the trees and those zebras will come screaming through my life, knocking the breath out of me. I have learned not to panic (or at least, not to panic much). But the sheer unpredictability of their comings and goings can be very anxiety-producing.
Of course, the humor is not lost upon me (or hopefully you). The idea of wanton zebras bombarding me with their presence, flying out of nowhere, well, it's sort of Monty Pythonish, isn't it? And since I am a huge fan of Flying Circus, well, it just fits. Picture the architects in the Cheese Sketch, fending off the Spanish Inquisition with the Dead Parrot and suddenly, a great herd of zebras runs in and mows them all down. And really, who needs to Buy An Argument when you live with a teenager? Yes, my friends, I am pretty sure that is an accurate metaphor. Trampled by Zebras... It's my life, and welcome to it.
photo of zebra copyright SZ
photo of child, copyright Tina Cruz
Tina has a goofy sense of humor and calls it survival. She figures it is better to laugh now than to cry later. If you agree, come laugh with her at sendchocolate.
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